August child starting reception

[Lolly122]

So my DS will be starting reception in September. He turns 4 on the 18th of August and will only have been 4 for 2 weeks before he starts. He has been attending a school nursery but he didn’t get a place in the school. Back in February, I got called into nursery because in the teachers words “he wasn’t progressing like the rest of the children” I also received his spring report from nursery a couple of days ago and again, the teacher was saying how he was falling behind. It’s just got me thinking is he too young and not ready to start learning? I’d feel awful if he struggled and wouldn’t want him having too much pressure on himself at such a young age. Has anyone else got an August child and how did they get on starting school at just 4?

We're holding our August born DS back for a year. Nursery and school both agree it's best for him and county have approved it. We're very happy for him to be the oldest in the class rather than the youngest.

DS is August born so when he started school he was the youngest. He's in year 4 now and is doing well, but Reception was hard - he wasn't able to sit still with the others and was behind, especially in reading. He caught up all of a sudden midway through year 1. As I say, he's fine now but it was stressful for all of us at the time, I think I'd consider holding him back a year if I had to do it again.

That’s another issue the teacher pointed out. She said he can’t sit still for long and “is away with the fairies” most of the time

My DD is August born and I was really concerned about sending her, read lots of threads on here about delaying her place.

In the end we decided to send her and she loved it. She was a bit slower than some of the others learning her sounds but I just had to keep telling myself that most of her friends were at least 10 months older.

She's in High School now and doing absolutely fine.

I'd concentrate on trying to get him to focus. Things like reading to him or getting him to play some simple games like snap. Orchard Games have a good range of games too.

I'd also get him to be independent about more, things like putting on his own coat and shoes, making sure he can use his knife and fork and most importantly, wipe his own bottom.

If the Teacher was concerned, did they suggest anything like a hearing test? How's his speech? This is a good guide on how his speech should be

@JiltedJohnsJulie Yeah we are going to start doing little things to try and get him prepared for September. He’s got a lot of books and educational games on his tablet too. We are currently trying to teach him to use a knife and fork and definitely going to focus on the toilet side of things. The teacher suggested a hearing test so we got him tested and all was fine. His speech is fine and he can count and name colours etc

I would play games with him one-to-one rather than the tablet.

I was thinking more of games you could play with him really. Playing games with him will help to improve his concentration and help him to listen, take instructions and share

There are sone good tips on here too

Yeah I’ll do that with him too

*some

I'd give him another year before starting if possible. Teacher friends have advised me that it's almost always for the best if you (or the nursery) doubt the child is ready.

I don’t have an August born but my DB was born in July 31. He is doing fine now at his 40s and I never remember him struggled through school. He had many friends and did reasonably well at school. He has a masters degree in engineering so he must have done ok!

DC1 in year 4 and a spring born has lots of friends who are summer born. They all cope well with school and not struggling. Don’t forget that you won’t be the only summer only in a class with only September and October born children!

DC2 is a September born and she has other struggles in school and during the last year of preschool. They didn’t even do her birthday at school as it was a week into school start and they haven’t settled yet. She is still upset about it as they do birthday shout outs for all the other children.

She’s noticeably more mature than DC1 when she started. She still prefers the older children and plays with those she was friends with at preschool and now a year above her at school. There were very few children in her class from September and October. We noticed a much bigger rise of birthday parties from March onwards for both children.

I think a lot of people on mumsnet overthinks this. No one sits still in reception. September born DC2 doesn’t.

If anything, I found being in the middle of the year like DC1 is better. There is something to be sad being average and just like everyone else.

Can you have a chat with his nursery teacher and get advice about him moving on versus waiting a year?

One of the struggles for being much older than the others in the class are clubs, for example. DC1 joined rainbows at start of reception year. The only rainbows in reception at the time. Her classmates didn’t join until the spring term. It will be the same when she leaves rainbows for brownies. No one in her class will leave and join brownies with her.

This will be the same for a child deferring. Not sure how football clubs etc are grouped. By age or school year.

How does deferring work where you are? I was told that if we deferred for a year, DD would miss Reception completely and start in Year 1.

@JiltedJohnsJulie yes same here he would start in year 1

I was still deliberating but my DD went to visit in the Summer Term before starting and she loved it.

I also felt that the other children forming friendships and having education for a year without her wouldn't have been the best decision for her.

I agre about talking to the Nursery School Teacher if you can. I think that you need to know particularly what her concerns are and how you can help him

I personally would not defer if it meant missing Reception completely. Another option is he could start reception next January or April. Or part time from September. My DS is summerborn and started Reception in 2017. He went 4 days a week for the first 4 months then full time from the January.

Ah, that's mad that school/district policy would have him start in Year 1 if you delay admission. It's not government policy though. See summerbornchildren.org. There's a Facebook group, Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns too. Might be of some help, I hope.

Thank you I’ll have a look at them pages

Mine is end of June, but she's very small. Not that independent on toilet, still likes the odd daytime nap, some toddler type behaviours. I'm hoping she changes a lot in a few months! She's my youngest, my baby, I didn't feel like this with her sister who is actually July born.

If you keep them back, do you still get early years funding?
Do they need to go straight to year 1, or into reception at 5?

I think the Facebbok page is more for those who definitely want to start their children later...but might be worth a look. Good luck with everything.

I'm in the same position OP.

My DD2 received her place for Reception but I'm still having doubts. She seems average for her age I guess. But DD1 started reception last year and when I compare DD2 to DD1 and her peers last September I feel like DD2 seems so much younger! It's a tough one.

I am an August born and have done fine! I realise the evidence doesn’t support this but I’m not sure holding back is the answer either. My DD is early October. I don’t think being one of the oldest is necessarily ideal either. She’s not struggled with the work but has slightly struggled to find a really good group of friends. I hope this doesn’t sound like a stealth boast - I really don’t want it to but I think being at the other extreme can mean they get bored or find it difficult to find other kids who want to play in the same way as they do. Using your example of concentration and games - she could quite happily sit and concentrate on a game and sometimes struggled to find friends who wanted to do the same things. She found the extensive free play of reception quite hard to deal with and wanted more organised structured activities having already had nearly 5 years of that kind of play by the time she went to school. She’s 6.5 now and in year 1 and has been a lot happier tbh. I don’t think there’s an easy answer tbh for kids at either end of the year. I would just say don’t assume being the very oldest is necessarily better. It’s pros and cons either way.

Holding him back in Nursery to then start in Year 1 would, in my view, be a very bad idea. The jump from Reception to Yr 1 is not insignificant and it would be unfair on him to miss out on the whole foundation year that Reception provides and be expected to try and adjust to a new school setting, with a class who already have established friendships - and learn from scratch everything that his classmates will already know and will be building upon. If you can hold him back and the start in Reception then that's different but to miss Reception completely is not helpful in any way I wouldn't say.