Has anyone else's child reacted very badly to their first day in Reception?

[imaginaryfriend]

My dd's pretty old for her class (an October birthday) and has been at her primary school in the nursery for a year but her first day in Reception seems to have tipped her emotions into a strange over-drive.

She had her first day on Friday and she was upset when I left her (not crying out loud but struggling not to cry with very tearful eyes - she rarely cries when other people are around, she's very shy and remarkably reserved). When I collected her she stuck to me like glue, insisting that I had my hand on her hand on her bike handle bars as she rode home. Since then she's been angry, weepy, refuses to talk about anything to do with school and is generally in denial about the fact she has to go back on Monday.

Is this familiar? Any advice?

be calm and cheerful - and don;t offer loads of choices - even choose her breakfast for her. Mention in the morning something you are doing when you pick her up to confirm in her little mind that you will. Chat to another mother after drop off if at all possible. Set yourself a list of things to do tomorrow whilst she is at school so you don;t end up drifting around.

It is hard and horrid but also normal and caring that you feel like this.

Lots of love.

Wise words BBBeee. Just what I need!

It's funny you said that about breakfast. She's clearly having lots of problems with decisions at present. She looks at her plate of food and says things like 'I just don't know what to eat' and I say 'try a such-and-such' and she looks relieved and does whatever I've suggested!

Just to say hope today is better for you both! Lots of great ideas from other posters. Don't give yourself a hard time for being a worrier, it shows you care!

Just to say hope today is better for you both! Lots of great ideas from other posters. Don't give yourself a hard time for being a worrier, it shows you care!

Today was a bit better ... so far ... !

When I dropped her off the teacher said they are trying this week to get parents to say goodbye at the door and not go into the classroom which would be much better for dd. Today I took her in, did her coat etc. and sat her on the carpet time area with a book and gave her a kiss and cuddle and left. She looked over her shoulder with weepy eyes but she did smile a bit too.

Here's hoping!

if it any consolation my DS used to hate being left - he did the whole crying inconsolably bit. But he was fine within a few minutes (I watched through the window a couple of times).

He was exhausted by the whole school experience though for quite a few weeks - and that made him very grumpy and emotional after school.

He is now just starting year 2 - and is exhausted by the first week - a bit of a flashback to his first few weeks at school - but it did ease off over time - and mostly he loves school.

Also had a tough week wi DS last week. Crying at the gate, grumpy after school etc. I think he's having trouble wi all the rules, keeps running where he's not supposed to etc. Finding teacher less cuddly than nursery teacher.
Luckily he still wants to go. Guess just needs to get used to it.

Dd never shows any reluctance to actually go to school. I mention it when she wakes up and she never says 'no no no no no' or anything. This morning she zoomed there on her bike in fact. I think it's the being left part that she doesn't like. The actual moment of saying goodbye. She always finds it hard to say goodbye.

ds was the same - happy to go - just hated being left. It took a few weeks and teddy in constant attendance before it wore off.

Now he runs in without a backward glance - not even a goodbye mum !

I have dd's rabbit in my bag all day!

I can't imagine her getting to the running in without glancing back phase because even after a year of nursery in the same school she never did that. But I live in hope!

Glad it went ok IF - she did well if she managed a smile, even if it was a bit of a watery one! Bless her; I think she's coping so well.

ds was like it at playgroup as well - for about the whole 18 months he went (and at the child minder from about 6 months come to that - only went one day per week).

Honestly within a month or two at the most he was happily going into school without a backward glance.

So live in hope - it will happen.

well done to both of you - sounds like it went really well. It will feel like two steps forward one step back sometimes (you will feel it is all fine and then you will have a set back but all progress is in the long run a move forward.

You sound lovely BTW!

That's a sweet thing to say BBBeee, thanks!

I picked her up early as she had a dermatology appointment, she was very pleased to be heading off early . I've really laid off asking her questions about today but she volunteered info on what she had for lunch (mince meat and cucumber?!) and that she found an old friend of hers in the big playground after lunch (the friend is now in Year One). She said she stayed in the classroom for the rest of the day as the Reception playground is too noisy. To be honest it's a bit small for 28 kids. It'll be shared by another 28 when the second Reception group start in January . Schools are so cramped these days aren't they?

Hi. Thank you Apprentice and everyone else too - I too have had similar difficulties with my daughters behaviour after her first 2 days in school. After school she has been rude, naughty and dis-respectful and i have found this v hurtful. My daughter is usually v confident yet sensitive, polite and well behaved. She is a good girl but I have noticed she seems fascinated with another little boy who had already played up at school; the parent was pulled into the school office on the first day ..... am concerned this behaviour may rub off on my daughter and may well find herself being told off - I am hoping if this does happen she will return to her normal values.

fluffymandy, this is quite an old thread you have pulled up, last entry was in '07 the year your daughter was possibly born in!

However hopefully it has at least reassured you the stroppy behaviour is part and parcel of starting Reception. My DD who started on Tuesday is exactly the same! And I wouldn't worry too much about the little boy. There will be so many new friends to make and other things going on, I'm sure the teacher will have it in hand and will re-direct where necessary - just give it a bit of time to settle down.
Good luck for you both!

well it may be an old thread but just describes what we are going through. The first two days were great; DD (who started on Tues) has seemed happy, excited after school, did not complain about going and did not mind being left. Today - day 3 - she seemed totally spaced out at pick up and has been volatile, happy one minute screaming the next, crying about REALLY silly things, crying about me being an "evil mama" (!!!!) when i got a bit frustrated and asked her to stop upsetting her sister or whatever. i am guessing she is exhausted now - this manic behaviour is how she is when tired, although it has been much more extreme than anything i have seen in a while. I feel guilty about not being more patient and going and on about something silly like her bringing her snack back untouched again (I do worry about her basically going hungry the entire day, too - she does not touch the packed snack at break and i am not convinced she is even touching much of the lunch meal). The PPs are so right about this being tough on the parents too - no wonder i feel like i am losing my mind and cannot concentrate on anything this week!!! here's to things improving. oh why do they have start so young??!!! :(