Tapestry. Star of the week. Same old kids.

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My child's in reception. They have the tapestry app in her class. It gets updated weekly. They put separate things on of just my child sometimes. They also add group pictures to her tapestry. The thing 99% of the time my DD isn't visible as she's at the back. She's massively improved since starting. She's just not one of the always focused and confident kids. She's more reserved and can be a little bonkers lol. She has had a merit recently though. The first three months were a wobbly settling in period. But since Christmas we just get told great thing. She's talking more. Her readings really good. She's writing more. Her behaviour has gone from being silly and not listening to being a new person (the teachers words) I am so proud of her. She seems ok with friends too. It's parents evening on Tuesday so we will get an update.

I just feel abit meh about tapestry. Group photos and videos. She's never at the front. Never in the middle. Always at the back. Often you can barely see her. Then it's always the same 5 girls at the front of the class. Always performing really well in videos. Always for the best costumes. Always focused on the camera.

World book day. I made her a Mary Poppins hat. I was looking forward to seeing on tapestry what she had done on world book day. Group photo. My daughter isn't even on the class photo. She claims she was. But if she is she's well hidden! She could be completely behind another child. The usual five girls were at the front. Same at the Christmas party I noticed they were playing pass the parcel. My child wasn't in the circle until the very end of the album. Usual kids were ripping open the presents. Same for a pe special maths day. Same kids posing and. My child was a blur at the other end of the hall.

I know this is normal but sometimes I think she needs encouragement to be involved. I did try and tell them last year to put her in the middle. They listened in the Nativity play and she performed beautifully. I was so proud of her. I just feel that she needs encouragement to get stuck in and involved.

They did a mini performance last week from a book they had read. She was at the back on the end. She did parts of it. But then she was drifting off. Again same girls at the front.

Is this standard for all years? Do the teachers not have the time to encourage kids to stand in different places to give others a chance who are less confident? I don't want to bring it up at the parents evening and sound silly. If I ask her why she's always at the back and doesn't se involved is that ok. Or if I ask why she didn't have her photo taken with the rest of the class for world book day?

Or is this not an issue in your view.

Also she's upset about never getting the star of the week award. She tells me who gets it each week and it's always the confident kids. I just felt sorry for her Friday when she said I always hope they say my name but they never do. Again how does this help the less confident children.

I'm not sure if I should mention it?

I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and I would definitely mention this. You may find other parents have done so which is why their kids get more attention.

My ds is the same actually

He has individual photos where it’s just him or a couple of friends, but in group photos, you have a hard time spotting him

What is tapestry??

It's a tricky one. Teachers try to encourage when they have time, but also accept that some kids feel more comfortable not putting themselves centre of attention, and may not want to push too hard, esp after your DD's wobbly first term. More experienced teachers are better at bringing the shyer ones out of their shells than those who are relatively new to the job, in our experience.
But Star of the Week should definitely not go to just the confident ones. Nor should it go repeatedly to the same kids. Most teachers will keep a tally of who's got it in the past and try to distribute as widely as possible, focusing on effort and improvement as well as achievement. But having said that, in a class of 30 and only 37 weeks of school per year (and probably some weeks when Star of the Week doesn't happen), it wouldn't be unfair if a child didn't get it in a year. You have to properly earn it, and a lot of kids are in the running.

Tapestry is an app that some schools are signed up with.

It allows you to view what your children are doing at school.

A teacher or assistant, will take photos and videos and will upload them to the specific child’s page unless it’s a group photo where it’s uploaded to everyone’s.

It’s nice to see especially on things like school trips where you wouldn’t normally see anything

‘I did try and tell them last year to put her in the middle.’
Wow. You’re that parent.

Yeah I'll ask what they think at parents evening. See if she's not focusing etc. Thank you. I have considered it might be that they know she's not as confident so let her be. I just hope she's getting an equal chance compared to the confident ones.

@marciepex

That parent? She also does better in the middle at swimming as she stays focused. I'm not "that parent" at all. I just know she seems to focus better when she's not at the back. What's wrong with asking them to encourage her to sometimes get into the middle of something? Hardly asking her to get the lead parts and be centre stage?

If someone is filming for the app, they should ensure all DC are covered equally. Personally I don’t like it and it’s added to your stress. Without it, you would be happy. You would be delighted with what your DD is achieving. Quite honestly - bin the app. Who cares about a stupid app!

What really matters in school is achievement and progress and your DD is doing so well. Ignore the app! Most schools don’t have them so you would be in the same position as most others.

Also, confidence grows. You have 13 years of school ahead of you. Getting chosen and being central and noticed can happen in that time but perhaps your DD is happy as she is? Not everyone wants to be noticed. Let her grow and confidence and see what happens. It all sounds full of angst and pushy for YR!

You have parents evening coming up and this would be the time to discuss how star of the week and tapestry is organised.

She needs to know what she needs to do to be star of the week. I doubt it is confidence. It may be helping others, concentrating, independence, tidying up the class room, listening well, an improvement in something.

I use tapestry, we do a fair few group photos, particularly for 'dress up' days etc
I would always expect the same few children to gravitate to the front, they are, by nature, very confident and absolutely love having their photo taken etc
I am also aware that I have a few children who will always choose to linger at the back or behind someone. In the earlier part of the academic year I would encourage them not to but by now I have a real understanding of each child's personality and wouldn't dream of pushing a child to the centre if it would make them feel uncomfortable. I certainly wouldn't do it just to please a parent!
Please just accept that your child may not be someone who enjoys the 'limelight' Presumably their teacher is adding individual observations etc? In your shoes I would be focusing on those moments.

And with regard to star of the week. Please consider we have a whole class to get through. Someone will be first and someone unfortunately has to be last but it doesn't make the moment any more or less meaningful.
My own dd didn't get star of the week until late June when she was in Foundation. I tried hard to encourage her to be happy for her friends (a very valuable lesson) and when she did finally get it she was delighted!

I am so glad my DDs attended schools that never had star of the week. I think for very young children it’s counter productive. Good old fashioned encouragement and guidelines for behaviour are great and everyone, more or less, is a star every week! It’s virtually meaningless. Waiting for 9 months for anyone to notice you are a kindly little 5 year old isn’t great in my view. I would rather regular praise. Or encouragement if needed.

Star of the week is obviously an addition to the regular, daily praise & encouragement that is a huge part of my job.
Or did you really think some children have to wait months to hear their first little bit of positive praise in the form of a certificate?
I despair!

You’re that parent

God I hate that demeaning put down to parents.

I've never understood schools that have "Star of the Week" but give everyone a turn ...it's a pointless exercise.

I can't understand why either. If they have to give every child it and they don't get it until July it's kind of a sign they just had to give them one in the end. Where as if they gave several kids a star this week award it's a positive. If three kids stand out one week and 8 the next print of some more certificates. That's just my view though.

I don't think they do tapestry after reception either?

My dc’s school mixes their years

It goes

Reception/year 1
Year 2/year 3
Year 4/year 5
And then year 6 by themselves

So I’ll still get tapestry for year 1

One of my dc is in reception and they use tapestry. They generally post individual photos and I've been in school helping and seen the staff deliberately photoing each individual child so lazy not to imo.

Also child of the day etc should definitely be for every child at some point - there's always something to praise each child for and it clearly goes round the entire class in turn for dcs class.

My daughter’s school must be weird because their “Star if the Week” system rewards students who have done something exceptional (like did a charity run or passed a music exam or had success at a sport etc.). It’s not given to the whole class on a rota. That would defeat the purpose entirely

There are also usually multiple “stars of the week” depending on how many kids had some kind of achievement

You say that she's a changed girl- for the better. Her reading and writing have improved also so whatever the teacher is doing off camera is having such a positive impact. I really wouldn't worry about where she stands in photos, there's so much more going on in a day than a couple of snaps.

XelaM: so star of the week depends on what activity the parents organise for DC? So if they ensure they have music lessons, run for charity or do a sport they get star of the week but the parents with little capability, or money, to organise such things effectively consign their DC to get nothing? That’s even worse! It’s awful.

I do think that some DC put a lot of store in being star of the week. It’s not necessary to award an extra star if you are already praising. It’s simply divisive and it makes the child think they have been ignored. As far as star of the week is concerned, waiting until
July is an eternity and it feels like being ignored. Teachers never understand this! They often give star of the week to the same DC. Presumably on the basis of parental efforts if the above story from XelaM is what goes on. As I said, I’m thankful I didn’t have to put up with it.

We had parents evening this week and one of the mums who loves to be in with the teachers brought a huge box of cakes in for the staff. She was chatting to the head master when we arrived and we had to wait a few minutes whilst they giggled over the cakes. I had to stare at the head teacher in the end to get him to realise we needed to be shown where to go as our appointment was now. He barely pointed us in the right direction before going in the staff room to hand out cake. All nice but this child is always in the paper on special dress up days. She still takes pictures to the reception teachers even though she is in year one. I remember again being behind them one morning whilst she gave the teacher a gift. My child was a new kid and nervous about going in and we had to wait for the teachers to tell her how wonderful she was.

I think sometimes having a mum that makes sure she is involved in the school means a better experience for the kids.

I think star of the week needs to be scrapped. But they absolutely should reward several kids a week with a certificate and let them build a mini collection up. It would be more motivating for the kids to try harder.

Being involved and helping the school in a directed way is fine as a parent - constantly being around and chatting up the head as well as bringing in cakes is just over the top!

I think star of the week is demotivating
DS has had it once this academic year. He is 6 and top of his class for maths and the teacher told us incredibly kind. Obviously not kind enough ;-).
I have been to sharing assembly 3 times this term. Each time chair of governor 's daughter out of class of 23 has been picked to share.. even when the whole class stood up she was still the one chosen to speak.. DS said he has not been chosen to share all term.
Whether it's concious or not this can't be 'fair'. Surely the teacher has a rota?