Privacy Concerns

[SaucySuester]

Hi new poster here, found myself in an odd situation last night, my son attends primary school, a few months back he was asked to start attending a "socialisation" group, he is a smart, although a bit cheeky and a bit sarcastic, it's worth noting that it seems the vast majority of children are males.

Last night he came home and said he was a bit annoyed as the leader had been "snooping" as he put it, a question had been put to the group about their domestic situation, including parents arguments or anything else that concerned them, most of the other kids answered, but he opted out.. my DH and I have no problems really maritally, but from the ensuing discussion I am now privy to the following information.

1. One of the childrens parents has alcoholism.
2. One family are in financial distress.
3. One family broke up because of domestic abuse.

I know all of these families, and feel quite uncomfortable about this info being shared without their consent.

Some other "private" family stuff also came up, it's not just me surely? There is a privacy problem here.

This is unprofessional. Whilst no names were mentioned they have left children and parents wondering who these people are and is my information also being shared.
Have a word with the Head about confidentiality and that they maybe bordering on a GDPR violation if this person continues to share information.

That's the problem, names were mentioned I know the families well who each of the "stories" apply to.

Wow! As part of my masters degree in counselling psychology we had to do a family therapy role play and the teacher was asking us very personal questions about the dynamics in our own families. But she did say that this was all confidential and we were also all over 21. I refused to participate (which didn't really go down well), not that I had anything to hide but I didn't want these other people to know my private business. But we were adults and could refuse - I'm sure the vast majority of children didn't feel they had that option (well done to your child who managed to)!
Definitely complain to the head how inappropriate it was. However I'd also take the stories with a grain of salt - my friend's son maintained his dad had died and had all the details which he totally made up! His parents found out when the school called to ask if they needed to take the boy out or wanted extra support...

Yeah, I think I will talk to the Head, it seems highly inappropriate for teachers to be probing like this.

Whilst probably done for all the right reasons of trying to establish why the pupils social skills are weak, this was definitely not the way to do it. It needed to be done on an individual basis. Well done to your son in realising that this was not a great idea and not answering. It does lead onto the question of whether other members in the group also recognised that this might be awkward and have therefore embellished their answers to make themselves more interesting.
Definitely have a conversation with the headteacher.

The reality is children share all sorts with their teachers. As a teacher you have to decided what you just listen to and what you report as a matter of safeguarding. Although the teacher may have instigated a conversation about their family life I don’t think there is privacy concern. Sounds a bit like a circle time activity which probably includes rules about confidentiality within the group. Also where is the concern for the child who has issues at home? How are they going to get the support they may need?

It's tricky because the kids volunteered the information which they could have done on the playground. Whether they should be encouraged to volunteer the info in from of their class mates is questionable. We can safely assume you can't rely on a bunch of kids to keep stuff confidential.

It’s amazing the stuff children tell you! Even without prompting.

Regards bothering about the affected children, I would be concerned that it being widely known that they had a parent with alcoholism or were in a state of financial hardship could easily lead to bullying.

Yes, I genuinely think the teacher shouldn't have asked the children these questions in s group setting as the children would have more or less assumed that answering was compulsory.

I think it’s inappropriate. I’d raise it with the head

They are 9

At my school, in a 'socialisation' group the children mainly play games, it's about practising things such as turn-taking, sharing, waiting your turn, letting others speak, waiting to speak. Some times a child in the group is chosen because they already have these skills and can therefore model them. No need for staff to be asking questions about family/home life.

We often have circle time opportunities where children are invited to share any worries they have. Unfortunately when you have kids nothing is a secret anymore. We would not ask probing questions but that doesn't mean we don't get lots disclosed!

I'd second what others have said about kids sharing. At my DC school they have various methods by which the kids can share worries or concerns either anonymously or by sharing. The kids can choose,
My DC have happily informed me that A'sparents are divorcing, B's are really stressed over money, C's have had to move as they were evicted and Ds are worried about where their brother with SEN will go to high school, Es dad is moving away and his step dad has moved in... all stuff that the kids shared in class! All stuff I'd never have known or needed to know lol