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5 year in in Year 1 suddenly crying about school?

4 replies

user1495827045 · 25/02/2020 12:30

My son who is 5 (July born) is in year 1 at school. He does love school although they have a horrid behavioural system of putting their name on the cloud for a warning about something and then the storm cloud which means they miss golden time (essentially special play time) if they continue with their behaviour. I am aware he did have his name on the cloud a lot before half term because his teacher said he calls out the answers etc during carpet time and this meant my son would come out saying he didnt want to talk about his day as it upsets him quite a lot. Anyway, he seems to like his teacher, has a great group of friends and is very clever. He had been complaining about a tummy ache before half term and then towards the end of half term he started again, this morning he had one but I checked him over and he was fine. He was happy in the car and happy walking into the school grounds with his friends. As soon as he reached the door he changed and broke down in tears screaming he didnt want to go in and repeating 'I'm tired' it was such an instant change in his behaviour I was really shocked and could feel myself getting upset aswell. I asked him if he was worried or had something happened that maybe I had missed?! He said no and just kept repeating 'I'm tired' after 10 mins or so he reluctantly came to the door albeit still crying and luckily one of his friends saw him and put their arm around him. He still went in crying. I phoned school half hour later and they said he is fine now. I am just worried I am missing something? He hasn't had any major changes and he had a lovely half term with a mixture of activities and relaxing. I spoke to his teacher at the door ( who is very wet anyway) who just said that he to is also tired! and cant think of any reason he might be upset. He had also had a great day at school yesterday so I was just really shocked. Any suggestions/reassurances anyone can offer? Just sat feeling a little teary now and concerned (maybe worrying too much like I do!)

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ThreeAnkleBiters · 25/02/2020 12:55

Oh you poor thing OP, it's horrible having to leave you child like that (especially as you're not there to see them happily playing or getting on with their work 10 minutes later).

Since the teacher has already said they don't know what might have caused it I'd probably try and probe a bit more at a calm, relaxed time. When he's crying and upset he might not know why he's scared or anxious and certainly won't be able to articulate it. I would chat with him at bath time or whenever he's calm and happy but avoid asking direct/pressured questions like "what's worrying you about school". Try and be a bit more gentle. For example "what was the best bit of school today", "what was the worst". Try to just get him chatting (e.g. "who did you sit next to a lunch time?", "was anyone sad at school today?") or perhaps try to get him acting out different parts of school with his teddies/action figures.

I wouldn't worry too much though I do think kids get genuinely tired or go through stages of not wanting school and it generally passes.

user1495827045 · 25/02/2020 14:39

Thankyou ThreeAnkleBiters. It really was horrible and if he had had a bad day yesterday I would have understood it more, but he had such a wonderful day. I will do like you say and ask less indirect questions and see if that helps him to talk a little more. Fingers crossed it is just because he is tired - I know they were doing lots yesterday and were practicing common exception words ready for the phonics test. Just makes you very worried. I'm waiting to pick up now so here's hoping he has had a good day x

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Awkward1 · 25/02/2020 22:57

Sometimes when ill it is really subtle.
Dd before xmas
Fever for a few hours had 1 dose nurofen - fine.
Was fine for a few days with a bit of a cough then 4 days after fever it was her xmas show and she wouldnt sing at all then wouldnt stay. (A few hrs later i cant down with awful flu so i really understood that she hadnt been feeling well.).
Also i think they know if they dont feel 100% they will get in more trouble.

Other dc really refused in yr r it did get better though she still doesnt really like it

wtftodo · 26/02/2020 08:34

My y1 DC has been like this, it peaked before/after Christmas. We went into school who were very “we haven’t noticed anything” although they did reveal some key things about how she’d been at school. We’re struggling a bit again this week which is the return to school but I think on the whole it’s loads better. Things that have helped us - “I wonder if... when I was your age I felt like...” type conversations; a few minutes extra downtime with parents each evening, which after a while has become the time that any worries come tumbling out; and also understanding what was going on with school work. It turned out our DC wasn’t doing as well or understanding as well in a particular subject. We haven’t started drilling them or anything but playing games, building in a bit extra time each week and lots of talking about growth mindset type stuff. Oh and we have been trying to improve sleep..

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