How friendly are you with the parents of your child's school friends?

[Firecracker2019]

Just curious to know as I don't feel I've made as many friends through my child being at school as I hoped I would. I'm also starting to feel like I've missed the boat with some people even though our kids are friends in school as they seem to have little interest in becoming friends anymore and we seem to talk less not more as time goes on.
There are a couple of my child's closer friends whose mums I would happily ask a favour of and would do the same for in return and we've hosted and been on play dates with the kids but I wouldn't ever go out socially with any of them. Can't see how that would ever arise.

I guess a lot depends on the age of the child(ren), your working pattern and the amount you're at school, how big the school is, how long your child has been there etc.

Maybe it all changes once they start secondary too?

Not lonely and have plenty of friends and people to chat to at school and outside, just not really many whose kids are friends with mine.

Ear plugs in, music blasting, stand alone at drop off and pick up.

Absolutely zero interest in any of them.

Somehow I was included in a class WhatsApp group way back in reception. No idea how that happened as I didn’t give my number to one single person.
I looked on the utter utter shite and drivel on that and promptly removed myself.
Not my kind of people.
But then, people are not my kind of people so..

I spoke with people when my eldest started school because that’s what I thought you were meant to do.
Will not make that mistake with second child.

Honestly, I think you’re better off keeping your real friendships separate from those of your young children — the chances of their best friends’ parents being people who become genuine friends of yours are probably quite slim (after all, all you have in common is children in the same class), and there’s the potential for hiccups if the children fall out or drift apart and you’re still insisting they get together out of school because their parents are your friends.

DH and I became very fond of the parents of one of DS’s classmates at his old school, though, awkwardly, DS became less keen on their child. We’ve just moved countries, and though I haven’t met many other parents yet, I’ve met one father and two mothers I like and a couple who invited us for brunch after one meeting. Too early to say where it will go.

Class WhatsApps at both schools were used only for manageable trickles of ‘What page for maths homework?’ and ‘X has lost two coats at school this week. Can you keep an eye out?’

I find the friendships with the school mums a bit forced and very surface level. We're only friendly because our kids are in the same class, not because we get on like a house on fire or share interests. I'm not interested in convenience friendships so I've backed away from it all.

As PPs have said, it's the luck of the draw. With DD1, there were a few primary parents I was friendly-ish with but not close. I work full-time so was rarely at the school gate, which can't have helped, though do help out at fairs and involve myself in other ways with the school itself.

When DD2 started school I remember thinking "oh no I have to be superficially nice to a whole new load of people" but actually have found a lovely group of friends whose DC my DD is also friends with. At least 3 or 4 of whom I think/hope will continue to be friends after our DC leave primary (now Y4). It's been a nice surprise as I wasn't expecting to meet a group of people with whom I'd happily hang out even if we didn't have kids the same age.

DD1 now in Y7 and have only met one other parent, at the bus stop in the first day in Sept! It's another world.

With eldest D.C. I made one friend. Adored her and we got on so well.
That is, until our kids fell out.

Things turned nasty and lesson learnt.
Never argue over your children. Do not get involved.

Dc2 I have made one friend again. A couple of people I meet up for coffee.

The rest is hello and goodbye.

You're lucky if you
Make some
True friends.

Some are absolutely awful and playground cliques are the worst.
I don't take
Much notice of any of it to be honest

After DD boarded, I met loads of new parents at her school. We met in the boarding houses, for lunch, at school events, for chapel and I spent longer with them than any parent at primary school! Still have a couple of friends from those days. That’s more than most secondary parents I suspect.