Dealing with 4+ rejection

[SlothHouse]

Just got a letter from JAGS. My DD didnt get a place, despite taking part in all activities.

What could have gone wrong?

Was us as parents? We don't have elite/respectful jobs. DP owns a few properties which is how we would have paid for schooling. And he works in public sector. I'm in a menial job.

What are reasons why these schools would reject a 4 year old?

Did she need to do entrance exams?

An assessment day only

Just playing games and listening to a story

I think you're over thinking it OP. She didn't get in because there were loads of girls applying and she didn't impress them as much on the day as other girls. It will have been things like the vocabulary she used, the fine motor and social skills she displayed. At 4 there is so much variation in the stage of development and so much can change day by day depending on the child's mood that it's just a huge amount of luck!

It won't be because of you, please don't blame yourself. Most likely the other girls just outperformed, there are plenty wanting these places and some children are more articulate, engaging and impressive at that age. FWIW my brother didn't get a place at a similar school at 4+ but later wiped the floor academically and is now at Cambridge. He just needed a little more time to develop his confidence and his academic work improved as he grew older. At 4 he would barely say a word so it was difficult to assess him at all!

It’s not you. It’s the bonkers London independent system of testing children at such a young age. We moved out of London to avoid it. Eldest DD is very end of August born. Even with all the will in the world she wouldn’t be able to “compete” with children a whole year older than her in those assessments regardless of how bright she is.

We are now going through the 11+ Process. She passed the Bucks grammar exam without tutoring, has an academic scholarship offer from one school and we’re still waiting on two more.

We purposely chose a non selective prep. Just put her name down and she started in nursery. The school has nurtured her and stretched her. She has been deliriously happy there. Best decision we ever made.

Sadly, if you go for selective education, you are running the risk of rejection as there are more children than places. If they felt she wasn’t right for the school, for whatever reason, it’s better to know now rather than seeing her potentially struggle at a later date. Don't despair, you’ll find a school that suits her. Local primary school?

Thanks you all for the reassuring replies. The letter did state that they're oversubscribed but can't help but think I gave off an air of working class in my mannerisms and accent.

We do have a couple of outstanding an again, oversubscribed primaries which I applied through the LEA. So fingers crossed she gets our 1st choice- we are just across the road.

If you or your daughter need to change your natural mannerisms to fit in then it's not the place for you. They did you a favour.

You will never know how your child performed and why they were not offered a place.
However, I doubt it has anything to do with your jobs, accent, class because these schools do not interview parents and higher up the school bursaries are on offer, which would suggest they are very much open to children from less wealthy backgrounds.
I knew a couple, the father managed and developed properties and SAHM, who has a child there.

Posted too soon, my point is you now need to forget about it and not beat yourself about with the why's and ifs. The children are only 4, some still 3, they are so little and not always able to perform on the day esp when left with strangers in an unfamiliar environment- it's bonkers when you think about it.

Please don’t read too much into this. I know schools that are oversubscribed have to scrabble around for reasons not to offer at 4+. One example that was told to me was a school not offering places to children if only one parents came to the open day. The school knew this didn’t necessarily mean anything but they had to make a choice somehow.

Really OP? Class, accent, jobs?
JAGS is a multicultural school they will not have cared one bit about you. Other than guaranteed ability to pay.
Have you reviewed the +3+4 threads? Your daughter needs to be chatty, interested, listens to instructions, participate in activities, as well as demonstrate some EY abilities like using scissors, coloring etc.
Had she been attending a good nursery with links to the school (previous children passing the assessment)?
Last but not least the sheer number of applicants means the majority fail to get in.

Bear in mind that people prep for 4+ from birth in terms of choosing a nursery with a 'pass rate', researching and practising skills they think will be assessed and even employing tutors.

We used to live nearby 25 years ago.

Parents had their children listing the colours of an apple and colouring an apple image in using 2 colours from age 1. Is that still one of their tests?

Sorry to hear that OP. Like one of the earlier posts I dont think at all it's due to the parents. It's mostly their decision on the child at the assessment. I say mostly because I do feel it has something to do with their previous nursery. Our DD just got accepted to both JAGS and Alleyns. DD went to a very good nursery nearby and do feel that may have affected their decision also.

The letter did state that they're oversubscribed but can't help but think I gave off an air of working class in my mannerisms and accent.

Imagine that really is the reason. Would you want to send your child to a school where they turned down a 4 year old because her mother is from a working class background?

Testing at 4?? Christ alive.

Please, please go to the oversubscribed primary across the road ... you will have a much easier time until your DD is old enough for you to judge what she really needs. Mine were state educated all through and much the better for it. BTW my DH had an ex Harrow boy bleating at him that he was being rejected for jobs because he was too posh. Don't over-think and good luck.

I would not get involved in selective education, especially of rejection feels personal.

None of my 4 year olds would have been offered a place somewhere selective at 4. My oldest (now year 5) refused to hold any sort of writing implement and couldn't write her name at preschool. She now writes stories and poems which are genuinely fun to read, and reads voraciously. Her school have identified her as someone who would likely get a place at the nearest super selective and she competes at a high level in her chosen sport. We have decided to have nothing to do with selection for her so this is irrelevant but demonstrates that being rejected at 4 is no indicator of future success.

Personally I wouldn't entertain putting myself or my dc through it!

That’s a very oversubscribed school! Something like 10/15 applicants for each place

We are over it now. Looking at JAGS 7+ and maybe some other good independents for secondary.

How can some girls get in based on their nursery? My DD has been with a childminder. We moved to london 1 year ago and there were no decent nurseries near our house didn't have a long waiting list.

I'm just aghast at the concept of 4-year-olds 'outperforming' each other in entrance assessments. Is this really the life you want for your child?

They will never know, u less you tell them. I don't think there is any harm done if they're just playing games in a classroom.

I think ultimately they have to someone choose from an oversubscribed number rightly or wrongly.