Do I change to this school or stick with the old one?

[SSSandy2]

Help Help! Decision time
Dd went to a school for year 1 which neither she nor I particularly liked (local Catholic primary). She didn't find it friendly, no playtime as in UK schools, no project or group work, no fun activities. Just sit down, shut up and copy what's on the board kind of thing. It's supposed to be a "good" school in a "nice" area.

Can't find the type of school I want where I live because the school-system here is very different. There are no real independent schools either.

So first school dd hated because the teachers were strict, one would scream and stamp her feet, the children were not very friendly and inclusive towards each other, there was bullying, kicking, punching, nasty comments and so on. Wasn't great. Dd was bullied by a boy right through the year and the school would do nothing about it. Academically not great either but school finished at 1.30 so I could tutor her at home and bring her up to scratch. So that's the old school.

God I love Mumsnet, I really do. You are SO helpful, I think I would ex- or implode if I didn't have this pleace.

Frogs, that's so he4pful. The teacher is Australian and did her PGCE in the UK so I imagine she has a British approach to differentiation but that's an excellent question, I'll chat with her next week. She showed me some work the children had done last year to give me an idea and it was I thought innovation/creative which I liked. You always have such a clear way of tackling educational issues and you put it so clearly.You must be one heck of a teacher yourself. I've printed this out and I'll do as you said. Thanks!

Oh fink, you know me by now, if only I COULD stop worrying, eh? (And perhaps drinking less coffee). Thanks I know you're right. How's your garden after the crap summer? Anything left of it?

Aloha secondary education in Germany is VERY different. Children are sent to different types of schools according to ability as measured by their primary school in their final year (4 or 6).

If the school estimates that a child is capable of going on to university, they can apply to a Gymnasium which is full-on intensive.

If not, they go to a Realschule which means they'll train later maybe for something like office work or nursing, something which doesn't require a degree.

If they're not considered likely to manage that, they have to go to Hauptschule which means they can just forget it basically.

So the pressure to achieve well academically at primary school is definitely there (from the parents) from year 3 and generally parents work very hard with their children to get them into a gymnasium if they have the time to do it (pt working mothers or SAHM for instance which is the norm I think).

I know Anna. My nieces go to an independent school in Australia which isn't cheap but it doesn't break the bank either, yet the facilities are amazing. (Uniforms are pretty ugly though!)

I aren't a teacher at all! Well not schools anyway, just higher ed. But have had children of various flavours in a roughish london primary, so have asked myself most of the obvious questions over the years. I've also been in both German and UK schools, so know how different the mindset is.

I think the crucial thing really is just to find out whether the school are on your wavelength, which you should be able to do by asking various members of staff questions along the lines I suggested. The actual academic standard of most of the kids is less important than the school being willing to work with your dd in an appropriate way. As long as they are halfway sensitive to her academic needs, she'll achieve the academic level that she's capable of. I'd agree with others that you don't need lots of out of school tutoring as long as you're happy with the bigger picture at the school.

Really hope it works out for her.

I do know how hard it is not to worry - pots & kettles but am honestly chuffed you found an alternative school. I'd follow frogs' advice too. Dd must be so relieved as well.
Garden Came back from England to find mutant squash and cucumbers a foot long, knobbly and impossible to slice. Took the axe to one.
Apples are ripe in the orchard though - lovely. Rest is a shaggy shambles which is why I'm not ahem really on MN, I'm out clearing the knee-high weeds now that the children are all back at school/kiga.
Must say, I do love autumn here, September is usually warm and sunny and the grape harvest is underway. Am in a bucolic haze of pleasure.

LOL frogs and I really had you down as a school-teacher!

fink, must be so pretty where you live. Are you right near the Rhein? Those monster cucumbers look strange, don't they? Well at least it wasn't a great soggy bog when you got back. A lot of cellars were flooded out here, including ours but it happens so often that we don't store in there. Might make a good indoor pool though.

Sandy - you can definitely console yourself with the thought that a bilingual, international primary education sets a child up better than any other for taking the IB as a school leaving exam - and the IB is now the currency of favour for getting into the very best universities in the world

The bilingual secondary schools are moving towards offering the German Abitur (which is I suppose equivalent to good A levels) AND the IB but I'm not sure if they've been approved for the IB yet. Has to be a gymnasium though obviously.

Does your French bilingual offer the IB programme from primary?

No, because my French bilingual (and in fact all the French bilinguals around here) are what is called "sous contrat avec l'Etat" ie they follow the French national curriculum (albeit slightly modified) and therefore receive a state subsidy, which is pretty massive, so our fees are very reasonable - under 6,000 euros a year all told.

The schools follow the French NC up to 18, however it is possible to opt out of the French bac in the last two years and do the IB instead, in which case you pay full whack fees because the IB is not subsidised.

Incidentally, it is my understanding that the very best students at the bilingual schools opt for the IB, the good ones (or those definitely wanting to stay in France for further studies) for the OIB (French bac with international option, a bit harder than normal) and the rest for the usual French bac.

Was thinking this afternoon how chuffed my boys would be to have "proper" English stuff - any project/lesson with a native speaker rather than the routine (German) English lessons. It'd be much more fun & make the English much more than a my-mum's-different-so-I-must-be-too thing. Your dd must be enjoying it too.
Just a thought. My 2 cents' worth must be at least 20 c by now

I know I know, seems so grim. I think it's what lies behind a lot of the aggression and unpleasantness of the children. They need to run about and let off steam. I suppose the idea is that they get the work done and the children out at either 12.30 or 1.30 so they eat at home and the parents have time to arrange afternoon activities/playdates or whatever which might have worked fine in the 1950s but nowadays I don't find it the best solution for parents.

fink, I'm still trying it this week and I'll have to come to some sort of a decision for next week. Don't want the Jugendamt and the police beating down my door or anything.

My problem is I was always against these Europa schools for various reasons so I am trying to be a bit open-minded and overcome my reservations. I just don't think they work for English speakers. It may be the better option short-term but long-term I'm not really happy about it either.

I just wonder what my guardian angel is up to these days because I really could do with a bit of help! Fairy godmother wouldn't be bad either

Hi Sandy, was your dd still looking forward to going again this morning? Hope you find the best thing to suit you, and I admire you for taking that long journey on. Do you drive or use the public transport?

You needn't admire me to much lin, we got there 20 minutes late thanks to having missed a train and then having to wait 20 minutes for the next one!

She was ok, not bothered either way just tired I think this morning. Will keep an eye on things this week and see how we go. Wish I'd heard back from JFK though.

OK, still admire you for trying though! Have you tried ringing JFK? Although today is the first day of school for the 1st years isn't it so they'll be busy but maybe tomorrow? Good luck.

No, I haven't called yet, I will go there in person some time this week but didn't have the energy today. The worrying more than the travelling is wearing me out.What is good is that dd is not confronted with the boy who was bullying her but I'm not at ease with the whole situation entirely yet.

So I am trying to remember that the strategy was NOT TO GET FAZED BY IT ALL! Hah!

Actually I was discussing (trying to discuss) it with dh last night. He just shrugs it off and leaves it for me to deal with somehow. I told him I was considering sending her to school in England and that did make him slightly take notice. He's just so tied up with work problems he has no energy left for problems outside of work.