I am Not Impressed.
a) His new school shoes, and indeed his whole uniform, are far too big. They may fit, but they make him look like a schoolboy, a notion I find faintly ridiculous.
b) I only gave birth to him two or, maybe, three days ago. He isn't old enough to go to school yet. That would make me 27 years old, another idea I find faintly ridiculous.
c) The school cannot possibly know when he is hungry, and by lunch he will be ravenous; I have therefore packed a round of ham sandwiches, a cheese and onion pastry, 25g of cheese, a piece of flapjack, an apple and some carrot sticks. I am concerned that this is not enough.
d) What will happen if he is thirsty? Where will he get a drink? I have packed him one but I cannot imagine the teacher can allow endless toing and froing from lunchbags all day! Will he have to wait all day for a drink?
e) What happens about toilet supervision? Because given the slightest chance he will stay there all day flushing things into the bowl to watch the flush down.
Please tell me he'll be ok, PLEASE???!
To his face I am Cheerful and Relaxed about him going to school - and a bit excited too, because it is exciting - but underneath I am a boiling mass of PFB anxiety.