Tik Tok in primary schools

[bombaychef]

My DD age 10 has very very restricted access to Tik Tok which I have only allowed as most of the girls she's friendly with in her class have it. I have full access and check everything she posts. She only has 10 followers / friends on there.
Some of the girls however (and boys for that matter) have un secured accounts and 300/400 followers: not her immediate friends but children she knows and can see the accounts off. Parents must not be checking as surely this makes them very vulnerable?
There's a lot of really bad language and references to guns / sex / violence / b*tches etc. Some of the kids are only 8 or 9 and the oldest I've been looking at are in Year 6.
Anyone else encountered similar? I'm torn about speaking to school about it but feels like a safeguarding issue that children need to understand

Apologies I posted this on here instead of chat so appears twice

School already know half the parents of primary school children don't ensure their online safety. It's for 13 year olds and above. You are part of the problem by allowing it with supervision. Stop it. Please. Primary school kids don't need this.

It's for kids over the age of 13. Don't even let her have it.

Yes I agree having spent time researching and looking at it in detail over the last week. It's quite normal here for primary DC to have it, including loads of DC of teachers I know and who I would normally use as a reference point. My DD doesn't have her own phone etc and now we'll be getting rid of it off shared iPad. Young girls checking accounts for 'likes' and collecting 'friends' at age 9 worries me also.

My Year 6 DD has been asking for it. I've said no.

It's not just about what they post, it's about what they can see.

It's extremely unhelpful that she has friends who are allowed it. Plus I'm not happy that one friend will try and post videos of her.

She's nearly 11. It's not going to be something I say yes to for quite some time. I pick my battles and internet safety is something I absolutely won't budge on.

That's what alarmed me. Friends who are teachers had said it's ok as long as privacy controls are set right..but DD made a video at a friends house which her friend then posted. It was innocent enough but that friend is 'friends' with people DD doesn't know. We had a long chat about how she didn't know it was being posted and she had no control. The same friend has multiple accounts. The same girl is 'friends' with lots of local kids, some of whom have no restrictions and tons of random friends - whilst dancing in their bedrooms in their PJs for the world to see...

Friends who are teachers had said it's ok as long as privacy controls are set right..

Teachers are just people. Why would you take what they say over the actual age rating on the app?

Generally I'm pretty strict on these things. No movies that are too old. No fortnite. DC aren't allowed TV or screens in bedrooms etc. I do listen to other parents however and take views on board and generally I find that parents who are also teachers have a good insight into these things. It's just a mine field by the time they are year 5/6 tbh in my experience

Absolutely terrible. Can’t say I’ve seen similar as my kids are not allowed things like that. I’ll do anything I can to keep the safe.

As a school, we provide information to parents on social media sites as soon as we become aware they are popular ( they come and go very quickly!) with advice on age limits, screening, parental controls etc. We have termly e-safety lessons, assemblies and workshops where children are informed/warned/ about the dangers and possible consequences of use, regular meetings are held with parents and children when inappropriate use of social media is brought to our attention. And yet children still access age inappropriate sites, usually with parental permission! Most parents seem to be very unconcerned about the use of such sites, or don't see the frankly obscene comments that are regularly brought to our attention. Parents then wonder why children fall out on a regular basis!

Thx Spaniel. It's a minefield. The more I looked the more I realised how many of the songs being used a lot are full of language you would not expect Yr4/5 kids to come out with in a playground. I'm sure they don't even know what they are signing & miming in some cases. In others it's more a case of the kids involved thinking it's cool tbh. There's plenty of innocent fun stuff on there too, but the less innocent stuff seems prevalent.

Schools can't stop the use of inappropriate websites-although I have had parents ask me to! However they can remind children ( and parents) about safe social media use. It is certainly worth mentioning to the school if a particular site is causing issues and I'm sure most will have similar e-safety procedures to us. But it is the parents who need to take responsibility and some have a much more laissez-faire attitude than others!

I tend to go onto these apps and look for myself. I've had parents say 'I won't allow my child to have social media Apps' ' and yet they are unaware that the child has TikTok and / or is happily posting videos from a friends account: or doing videos and not realising they are being posted. Unless you look, you wouldn't know it was all there. Hence why I made my own decisions on it but will keep the app to check my DD is not posting stuff via friends.

And don’t read too much into the teacher thing, as others have said. Teachers are just people, and although I had safeguarding training and some understanding of the issues with social media, until I became a Designated Safeguarding Lead and underwent further training, I’m not sure I fully understood all the issues. Just don’t allow it .

I don’t let my kids have social media apps. They don’t have free rein of electronics and password is needed to download new apps. It’s easy for me to keep track of. They don’t have friends that have free rein of electricals either so it’s not something we’ve faced.

My dd is 11 and we have had many a conversation about why she doesn’t have these and what people (mostly grown men!) want to send her, get her to send to them, meet them etc. She knows why she is too young for social media or any other apps where you can communicate with people.

It's quite common where we are for Yr4/5/6 DC to have a pretty free reign regarding on line stuff IME. There's plenty of Yr6 with accounts with 200/300 followers and multiple accounts plus stuff like Instagram. I know plenty of kids with 800-1000 followers on insta. A lot with you tube channels too.

I don’t think anyone is saying it’s not common, they are saying it’s a bad idea and they have age restrictions for a reason

Tik tok is a site our schools highlighted as a risk to children earlier this year.

How parents use this information is up to them.

Our school haven't. It was mentioned in passing at an internet safety briefing I went to that about 20 other parents were at last year. We have 700 ish DC in our primary.

Oh yeah, I’m not saying I don’t believe you. I’m just saying it’s not something we deal with for the reasons I listed above. I dont allow free rein/reign of electricals. My dd has an iPhone and an iPad but couldn’t tell you the last time she used either. My other kids have iPads too but same for them. No electricals in bedrooms, no ability to download apps without me, no social media apps, no games where you can communicate with people, very limited screen time. My kids don’t even really ask for them. When they do I generally tell them no and they just go and do something else.

My lot are home educated so it’s great that I can keep them away from that as such.

This is a really great article on why social media is not for middle schoolers, I believe that is around ages 10-14 ish. Don’t know how to make it a fancy little link, but it’s for psychology today.
www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/mental-wealth/201703/why-social-media-is-not-smart-middle-school-kids%3famp

My DD is 10 and has no personal electronic devices, no social media and no unsupervised screen time. She knows it will be this way for a good way yet.

It doesn't seem to have caused her any issues and she doesn't suffer socially because of it. I'm not aware that anyone at school is involved in this stuff in any great number either.

Just say no. Remove the access to the Internet and don't allow unsupervised screen time.

We try to educate pupils and parents about the dangers of the internet. There are age restrictions for a reason.

It's easy enough to restrict screen time at home, but harder when local DC have smart phones and no restrictions and they are out and about on their own (walking to school & back or in neighbourhood park): which in our area is common from yr5. Most DC in our area get a phone in Yr6 if they haven't before hand. I've now stopped access but I'm sure it won't be long before the next ap comes along... there's Yr4s with TT accounts to at our school i now realised. Obviously not locked down either.

Parental controls?