Normal 5 year old behaviour? ?

[user1495827045]

Our 5 year old son (July) is in year 1. His name has been going onto the cloud (behaviour chart) at least once a week which he has been concious about. I spoke with his temporary teacher who happens to be the deputy head who informed me 'he isn't Naughty at all its just that he really struggles to sit still and is always fidgeting when asked to sit still on his bottom' she went on to say this will improve 'with training'. He had also been told off in assembly for rolling around and not sitting still. Just concerned about this and whether there is anything I can do. Should he sitting still by now or are my expectations a bit too high??

I’m sure other posters will have more experience of children who don’t sit still and have ideas for helping with this, but, yes, he should be able to sit reasonably still by now. However he’s young and presumably would rather be doing something rather than listening.

The school appears to understand that he’s not naughty but of course rolling around is a nuisance and presumably distracts the other children. He will also need closer supervision which they might not have available.

I would ask the teacher for advice on what you can do at home to help him. Does he sit up to table and finish his meal? Does he sit and do crafts or colouring? Could you reward him for doing an activity that requires sitting still? Is he still when you read together? I’m sure the teacher will want to help and other posters will too.

I think it’s reasonably normal, whilst undesirable behaviour. More importantly, the teacher who has observed the behaviour doesn’t seem to be too worried so neither would I.

It's often normal especially for summer born boys. It's rubbish if the school to punish him for it rather than help. If he's on the cloud every week there's no motivation to improve and he'll start to think of himself as naughty.

In some cases it can be caused by hypermobility making it almost impossible for kids to sit cross legged. A boy had this on dd's class. After months of battles with him they just put him on a chair instead and problem solved. Carpet time isn't exactly a useful skill to train kids on!

My daughter was super immature in Reception/Year 1 and in Year 2 her English teacher even called me in yo have her assesssed for ADHD (which I didn't as I thought she was just young and immature and i didn't want her to feel there was something wrong with her). By Year 3/4 she changed completely and grew up and was even put into the top set for English by the same teacher. She told me "it was like she was a different child". Kids all mature at different rates and I wouldn't expect too much of a 5-year-old.

Is he hypermobile by any chance? People with hypermobility find it extremely difficult (indeed painful) to sit still for any length of time at all.

Could he have retained reflexes? There is a therapy for that that helps children who would otherwise labels ADHD. There is a film on Amazon Prime called Attention Please! about the therapy that you might find helpful.

I'm not asking this to blame you so please don't think that,

Outside of school how much experience of sitting still and listening does he have?

Like sitting still and quietly before a movie/show starts.
Sitting and listening to others talk and letting them finish.
Waiting in a queue nicely.
Sitting at the table waiting for dinner nicely without entertainment or talking/doing what he wants to do.

He's young,he might not have a lot of experience of sitting still and listening or why that is a good thing,assemblies and things can be boring , and at the end of the day whilst not great, it's not that much of an unusual behaviour either.

Totally normal. Will most likely improve with age. Still too young to sit still for long periods imo. I wouldnt worry. Do nothing and this time next year bet he has improved just through getting older. They are what u tell them so I wouldnt even discuss it would do more harm the good for him to feel like he is naughty or wrong and cant sit still. If school already have him on the cloud I would leave it at that. Obviously if he was actually being deliberately disobedient I wouldnt ignore it but in the instance maybe he just cant help it. If it is still happening at 7 or 8 years old then i would look for ways to help him learn to focus and be still but at 5 wouldnt worry

I think although it’s normal in some circumstances it depends how much it happens and how annoying it is. Quite honestly if he’s 8 and still doing it, then it really is a major issue! So don’t let it get to that. Often DC do want to be like the other children who are sitting and listening. So try and practice at home where there is no cloud. In some schools no child, even summer borns, would be rolling around in y1 and certainly not in y3. So it would be better to start working on his attention span ASAP I think.