Should I move DS in Reception?1st choice school place now available

[BigLittleRedOne]

DS started at our 2nd choice school in September. Seems happy, settled, talks about friends and is reading well already. School is 5 mins easy walk from home. He already gets a lot of homework. I feel ok about it, not a warm feeling particularly. His teacher isn't that engaged with us, we've exchanged a couple of words so far all term. I feel quite disconnected from the school.

Last week we had a letter saying a space was now available at our first choice school. It's further away - 15-20 mins on foot. It's got a very warm and welcoming and happy vibe. The focus in reception is on play-based learning, no homework apart from reading books. Much bigger outside space, woodland and ponds, a very holistic approach to child development. They have learning mentors that help kids to settle and to negotiate the playground disputes that arise, it seems a very caring place. Teachers are very engaged with parents and kids families. It also has a preschool nursery that my younger DS could attend from next year.

They are both Ofsted 'good' and have similar results.

Should I unsettle my son and move him? He doesn't know any different and seems happy enough. I can't work out what on earth to do! Has anyone had a similar situation arise? Really interested to hear if anyone else has had to make a decision like this?

I'd move him. You seem to be a lot more enthusiastic about the 1st choice school.

He's been there half a term, now would be the best time to move as he'll have another 6years, 2 and a half terms left.

We were given our 3rd choice secondary and me and DH discussed how long to stay on waiting list for first choice. We decided anytime up to Christmas we'd accept a place (luckily he was offered a place before he had to start 3rd choice) but we'd have accepted even if he had started

Kids in reception are great at making friends and at letting others join in so within a couple of days he will be talking about his new friends.

How long do you have to decide? Can you take Ds to look round and see what he thinks about the school?

I’d move him. You’ve got years of primary left and a younger child to think about - presumably you’d want the younger to go to your first choice school as well, but having kids in different schools would be difficult.

FWIW friends moved their daughter about 3 weeks ago and she’s settled really well in her new school.

Apart from the fact that your DS is settled, it doesn't sound as if you like the current school anyway and that's not going to get any better over time.

I'd just move now

I would. The playground mentors alone would swing it for me. Also being able to drop DS2 at the same place, and have him make an easy transition when the time comes, would be great.

Though I’d be curious about why a space came up at this stage. Did someone not like it...?

Do you know someone who has children at the possible other school that can tell you what it's really like?
Call me cynical, but you're comparing a school you actually know with a school you don't so I'm wondering how much of this is school hype and how much is reality. My DC's old junior school had amazing playing fields, for example, but they only got to use them about 3 weeks of the year.
And I'm also wondering why someone left the school so early in the year

@HeyYouWhatToDo We have until Friday so not very long really! The school managed to arrange a meeting for my partner to see it yesterday as he couldn't make the open day last year - he was also pretty impressed with it.

@minipie I'm not sure why a space came up, I would imagine that in our area there is a bit of shuffling around in the first term, all schools have waiting lists. Interestingly another head told me on an open day that admissions numbers had changed over the past year and they certainly had less applicants from European backgrounds, presumably due to Brexit ( but that's another thread!), I will ask the school why the space came up though

@RedskyToNight I do know a couple of people at the school with Reception kids, they both are very pleased with it and say it's very welcoming and accessible in terms of parental contact with teachers etc. The problem I have is that I am not comparing a school I know with one I don't, he's only been at his school half a term and I don't feel I know it well at all. I keep hoping I will start to like it more, I'll get to know the teacher more and feel reassured that it's the right place for DS...but maybe that won't happen. I've been telling myself maybe this is just what primary school is like and I need to suck it up!

I'd move him now. He's only done half a term at his current school so has plenty of time to settle into a new reception year, and he has loads of primary school years ahead so it makes sense for him to be in a school you are happy with.

Ah I see - yes someone might have got a place at their preferred other school.

I'd move him. Kids are adaptable. I'm about to move my Year Three child to a different school system in another country in another language.

This was decades ago but my parents moved me after a term of school at that age and I don't remember any trouble settling into the new school. I have very vague memories of the first school which was big and scary, and many happy and warm memories of the small and friendly school I was moved to.

I think I'd move him, with the proviso that there aren't any significant advantages of his current school in later years. The best school for your YR child is not necessarily the best school for that same child in Y5 or Y6. Assuming you prefer your original first choice across all the years, not just infants, then move him. The homework in particular would put me off your current school, unless that means just daily reading.

I’d move him

I’m not sure I would! 5 mins walk is very handy when it’s raining!

Seriously though: why do you expect to know his teacher particularly well? I never really knew my DDs teachers and didn’t expect to. However I trusted them to alert me if anything was amiss. I also knew i could write things in the diary and they would read it and respond. I honestly don’t expect teachers with 30 DC to make time for me and talk about DC when there is no need. I expect a professional relationship not a chat every day one.

I therefore think this is grass is greener from you! Have you made any effort to get to know other parents? Have his friends around for play? Get involved in the school? Most parents get attached to a school because they invest in it. It means something to them.

This might be possible for you at the other school but you can hardly say your DS isn’t doing well. He has friends and has settled. Many people would be overjoyed at that but you don’t think it’s good enough. He obviously doesn’t miss what he doesn’t know about. It seems that you think he’s missing out though.

A place for Ds’s sibling in their nursery doesn’t guarantee a place in the school. Your younger child would have to go through the application process but having a sibling in the school might put your younger child in a higher category.

Of course your DS might not want to leave where he is. Might not settle in the new school and you find that all that glisters is not gold. Personally I like DC doing maths homework as well as reading. It’s just a different form of “literacy” and just as important as getting mucky at forest school.

I would move him, we moved our son just after Xmas in Reception (due to issues with our older DD higher up in the school) and he settled in the new school very quickly, made friends and adapted to new routine etc. never mentions the old school (and older DD much happier and settled there too). Wish we had moved DD sooner. New school also further away (same differences as yours 5mins v 20/25 mins walk) but worth it.

Make sure you check that there is sibling priority and where this sits, i.e. does the school use a catchment area, and if so, are out of catchment siblings a lower priority?

EduCated that is a really good point. In an oversubscribed area it can be a real risk to go out of catchment with your eldest. It all depends on the priority rules. Even if out of catchment siblings have historically got in, if your youngest is in a big year or there happen to be a lot of in-catchment siblings, they may not get in. It may be a risk you're happy to run if the timings work, as the two schools are close, but do take time to read the rules and make sure you're understanding if you're taking risks.

We live in an area where out of catchment siblings rank behind all in-catchment children. In my eldest's year group, lots got in from out of catchment. Their younger siblings all scraped into the infants as out-of-catchment sibs, but more children had moved into catchment for juniors and they could take no out of catchment children at all. Lots of families ended up with DC at different schools and there was a lot of bad feeling about it.

I know it sounds stupid but ask him. Let him look around and tell him all about it. See if he wants to move. It he says no I like my school mummy I'd probably leave him where he is. Purely because it could completely unsettle him. He will already be learning the routine of the classrooms and the things they do at set times. If he wants to change over then go for it

Id not want to be buying another uniform etc already.

I know what you mean about feeling disconnected but I think teachers are so busy. Mine just mouths over to me she's been fine after school. You can normally grab them for a minute if you want to talk though and the assistants are also very friendly and take an interest in my daughter. We have tapestry too so I find out the topic they are learning about each week. The only homework she gets Is every 2 weeks she has to draw something to do with the topic like an animal. I don't find that too much and it's a nice balance. Reading books also are provided

I would move him. If you are already having problems with the school think about how many you will have had by the end of year 6!

You put the school 1st for a reason, I wouldn’t turn away the opportunity to go. You might nit get another chance fir further down the line if things be don’t improve at your current school.

You seem very happy with the school you have been offered. If it’s fits well with your family, you like how they treat the children and can cope with the further away distance I would 100% be saying yes! Children make friends so easily. By Christmas your DS will have lots of friends and you will wonder why you thought twice about moving him.