Is it not too late to make things better for my 8 year old?

[NotVeryChattySchoolMum]

My DS2 always seemed very slow on development trajectory compared to my DS1.

Slow to start talking. Didn't talk until 3. Even to this day he has poor vocabulary retention, he forgets words. He has improved on reading but he still doesn't read chapter books, too much effort for him. He's also the youngest in his class. Two years ago, I didn't think it was right his progress was so slow and hassled school SENCO asssessing him - his hearing test was fine and speech and language therapist has also cleared his speech as okay, just late developer. Teachers think he is fine, just we need to spend more time reading to him. He is 'working towards expected level' in English. Doesn't have close friends in school.

I've booked private assessment for dyslexia. But in the meantime...

The thing is that he is also a sweet lovely boy, who loves animals and is good at looking after other people's younger kids. He loves hands on activities. Forest school brings out all the best in him. He helps me the most in cooking at home. Can solve Rubik's cube in 1 minute and can do well in playful maths settings, so he is not 'thick'.

But if he is to stay in state school system, it will be always his poor language overshadowing everything else, struggling to read and hear instructions.

I am worried the education system isn't making most of his strengths.

Home schooling isn't option as I admire other people doing it. I'm thinking Steiner school may suit him.

Does anyone have similar children?

Was his last assessment two years ago? If it was, I think if I were in your shoes I would be pressing for him to be seen again, if you don't get anywhere with your private dyslexia assessment.

Out of curiosity, what sort of books is he reading? Is it possible that the books school provides just aren't interesting to him? I think the selection in schools is often poor. Maybe he's more of a non-fiction person? Perhaps with stuff that is geared towards his interests?

His assessment was to check for hearing and speech. Because his pronunciation was poor and he often mixed up letters.

However problem with hearing was ruled out. SLT also thought his speech was fine (at low end of normal). No problem with eye sight either (used thorough assessment incl. convergence)

He likes me reading books to him (if it's easy ones like Horrid Henry), but he find reading anything himself too much effort.

My DD really enjoyed audio books at that age. She didn't have to track the words and process them as well as following the plot, which was hard especially when tired. It did help with general vocab etc.
(DD is now 15 and though she took a massive leap in reading aged about 12 she still listens to audio books a lot).

DD has progressed much better at secondary. I think her immaturity and difficulties meant she was always struggling with demands at primary, but her supportive secondary have boosted her.

TweenPlusTwenties

Which audiobook equipment does your DD use? That must be encouraging to see your DD thriving more!

We just use CDs.
You can get good collections from The Book People.
So DD has had

• Michael Morpurgo
• David Walliams
• Roald Dahl
• CS Lewis - Narnia
• JK Rowling - Harry Potter 1-3
• plus a load of free ones that used to come out with the Sunday papers

DD really got stuck at Horrid Henry reading level for ages. She couldn't make the leap to chapter books with more words and fewer pictures. The audio CDs helped bridge things until she was ready. She still read a bit (and we read every morning before school) but it took a long time to find stuff she found was worth the effort.

Didn't properly get going until y6 and Harry Potter. She had to read the books before being allowed to see the films.

Steiner school seems a bit marmite - i would look at all your options, so different LEA school, different independent schools, if you post your approx location then people might be able to recommend.

@NotVeryChattySchoolMum our local library has a free audiobook app I discovered. Use it loads myself and have recently got it downloaded on to an old phone of mine my DS uses. It also has an e-book section which would be useful on a larger tablet.

If he does have any form of SEN I would look carefully into the steiner beliefs on this, ditto if you feel may be vulnerable to bullying.... it's not all forest school and woodwork.

Does he already do forest school outside school? What about doing that and similar things outside school, for example our local city farm takes weekend volunteers from age 8.

The thing is that reading and understanding instructions are going to be important in any walk of life he goes into later, even if it’s something hands on. So you need a school that will help him develop those skills - and then focus on his lovely strengths outside school. That will help boost his confidence.

Yes, the description of your son is very similar to my DD (just turned 9). I've also been on a bit of a journey with it - pushing for help etc - over the last year.

Have a look at auditory dyslexia or auditory processing disorder - does any of that ring a bell?

If that's the case, then I don't think it is by any means too late to help your son. In my understanding this is typically the age at which such issues are identified or diagnosed. He may always have a weakness in this area but coping strategies, multisensory approaches, extra support from you at home may all help.

Do keep pushing for help.

Not sure that Steiner would be a good choice though I think small classes and experiential learning probably are. Had a friend who did primary in the Steiner system and it didn't help her cope with her dyslexia at all. Her mother also had to hunt high and low to get the right support and she's now extremely successful in an academic-related career.

Good luck.

@NotVeryChattySchoolMum He likes me reading books to him (if it's easy ones like Horrid Henry), but he find reading anything himself too much effort.

Some things to try:

Get him to follow the words as you read, maybe with a pencil/straw.
Take it in turns to read a sentence/paragraph (break it down so it's not such a large chunk to read in one go.
Use a blank piece of paper as a way to slowly unveil the lines to read as he goes (this again can help if a wall of text seems overwhelming).
Use a timer and say he can read for 1 minute, you'll read the rest. Lots of praise, maybe a prize (small toy/treat). Gradually increase the time he reads for.

He may enjoy something like Usborne Puzzle Jungle, where there is just a little reading each page, then he gets to solve a puzzle.

Audio books I also think are good. Dd loved "How to train your Dragon", at around that age, narrated by David Tennant.

Nrich is a good website for encouraging his maths if he has an aptitude for puzzles.

He sounds like one of a kind, definitely sounds like he has a great potential and extraordinary talent. Some children won't thrive in ordinary settings. How to encourage and nurture him could make a huge difference. I would love to have a child like that! Have no practical advice, but I am definitely rooting for him, and you. Good luck.

He sounds like a lovely boy. I definitely think the OT assessment is a good idea (make sure it's a general assessment not just focusing on dyslexia ).He may have an isolated issue (e.g. slow processing speed) which impacts his ability to carry out academic work.

Is he happy? Is his confidence being impacted by his academic difficulties? I would definitely encourage his outside interests and give him plenty of opportunity to be build his confidence.

I haven’t really got any advice, but wanted to say that he sounds absolutely lovely! My DD would love to have a friend like him.

Thank you all!

Looks like many of you were right. My son was diagnosed with dyslexia today. I never really knew what dyslexia was other than problem with reading.

But today assessment was interesting- they were looking for discrepancy between his intelligence (verbal, non-verbal reasoning) and verbal processing (phonological awareness, working memory, etc). Turns out his IQ was very high, which was actually the most surprising part. And unsurprising part of course was his scoring low on working memory and phonological stuff.

Basically he will have tough time accessing information n normal academic way that puts too much demand on working memory. School of course said he is fine, but turns out he was only coping but not really thriving.

We await full report. Wonder what school will do with it if he isn't completely a failing case that demands intervention.

If he's passing then state school will do bugger all in my experience. Steiner is a big no for any special needs. Why not a nurturing prep with a solid senco that specialises in dyslexia?

Humpdayruminations - I'm very open to being surprised but yeah I'm with you I'm afraid by the look of things.

Nothing is worse than disempowered teenager about to go off rails, it'd be really good for my son to have confidence and take joy in things outside school. We are in SE London. Local dyslexia tutor is massively oversubscribed already.

Both my kids are Dyslexic, I did a lot of interventions with them because the school used a diagnosis of Dyslexia as an excuse not to teach them. Problem is when 10% of kids are Dyslexic schools stop worrying about Dyslexia rather than getting more worried. dyslexiagold.co.uk/ this one actually worked well for both of them and does phonological awareness which you said your DS didn't do well on.

I don’t have any experience with children of this age and these issues but a Rubik
Cube in 1 minute?! Wow!

Purpledragon40 schools do have targets to hit (our outstanding school will really care about SATs and does extra time with struggling kids). But clearly they are not incentivised to make kids thrive as opposed to cope.

And thank you for the website recommendation. I can be a bad mum, I find reading books to my dyslexic quite a joyless task, constantly having to manage his concentration fatigue. Yep he was spectacularly bad on phonological awareness and can't rhyme for life of his.

Biggie123 - yes, my husband taught him and he took it on quickly - that was one of the lightbulbs moments - wait, he may not be only thick but may have more potential than we realise.

Language is so pervasive - your access to rich world of information is screwed if your language processing isn't good. Whereas with maths, if you are bad at maths - no one will think you are thick.

Also re: Steiner schools - I do have a close friend whose child goes there and through her I also know a few more people with children there because of her.

This school does have some limitations re: disability - for example, I would not send a deaf child there! This school really isn't right for everyone. But I do have a hunch my son may thrive more there for some reason.