Reception, how many hours are too many??

[IncyWincySpiderOnRepeat]

My DD started reception in September and is currently also doing breakfast club & after school club 5 days a week due to me & dh both working full time.

We generally leave the house at 8am every day and get home just before 6pm.

The hours aren’t new, she’s being doing the same at nursery for nearly three years, but I’m already worried she is struggling to cope.

I know school is far more tiring than nursery as greater expectations, more intense learning etc, but what I’m not sure about is whether as she settles things will become easier as she is more used to her new environment.

To change things will take around 6 months (long notice periods) and involve a substantial, irreversible income drop, so not something we can do lightly.

Just wondering really if anyone else has had a reception child doing similar hours? If so did it work long term? Did they cope?

Mine have to do this. It's a needs much situation unfortunately. Dd1 coped fine with it, dd2 started this term & finds it tiring but loves after school club.
I have considered an au pair but haven't got round to looking into it any further.

Mine was a needs must too - DD did those hours from three months old so was used to it. About once a fortnight she would go home for tea with a schoolfriend - I would reciprocate at weekends. Occasionally my DM would pick her up but largely it was as you describe and I can't recall her complaining (she did at holiday club though).

My DDs have done 8-6, most days, since they were babies at nursery and breakfast/after school club at primary.

I have worked one day a week at home since I returned to work after having DD1, so there's always been one day a week when I could do drop-off/pickup. For the last 3 years or so they have also done a club one day a week and another parent taken them to that, so after school club is only 3 days.

Lots of people sucked their teeth at me for sending them to the after school club in Reception, but we had no choice. Other options weren't available. Your DD won't be 4 forever, and your work/your DH's work may change over time as well. As PPs have said, if you can put another arrangement in place one or two days a week whilst she is this age then that would help, but don't torture yourself over this, you are doing your best.

I think having a few early pick ups would be lovely, and like others have said going home with a friend once in a while if that's at all possible.

Speaking as a Reception teacher, I think it depends on what will happen during school holidays. I think they can cope during term time, but if they're having to attend holiday club too, then they really struggle. I agree that an early pick up once or twice a week makes a big difference.

Yes it probably is tiring for a little one especially when they are required to do reading and homework. But as another poster pointed out if you picked her up a bit early you are probably just going to be putting dinner on and tidying up etc, I know that's what I do so my boys are either playing by themselves/watching tv or have a friend over so it's not like big quality time or anything so that's my guilt! You shouldn't feel guilty for working and using childcare!

If there's only a few kids there as well then that's good as hopefully it's not too crazy - I've seen some maxed out with lots of bigger kids running around and the little ones daunted! If there is a local childminder that could be a good option for a couple of days a week or if you could work from home one day so you could pick up?

That’s a very long day for a child. People have commented saying that kids do similar things at afterschool clubs as they would do if they were at home but that’s just not true is it? At home they can be themselves. They can sit and watch tv, lie on the sofa etc etc. It’s no wonder kids are often emotional when they get home from school when they’ve spent all day trying to behave in a certain way.

Your daughter does longer hours than I do.

I think one of you needs to adjust your hours and in the meantime find a childminder or nanny.

I would suggest looking for a childminder - they can then curl up on the sofa and watch a bit of CBeebies and possibly nap. My dd always slept after school until she was about 7

It's so hard isn't it!

My DD started Reception in September and I've just had my flexible working request approved. It's so different to Nursery, she attended from 730 - 6 since 4 months but school has really hit her hard and she's tired and emotional.

I've changed my hours so I can pick her up twice a week at 3.15 and used a local childminder for the rest, it's more expensive but means she gets to go to a home environment before and after school and is able to just relax if she's tired.

To be fair it does depend on the child. Mine is in Year 2 now but has never been tired after school even when she started Reception. Doesn’t come home and flop on the sofa in front of tv, after school she plays, reads, writes, comes with me to walk the dog, has swimming lessons, goes to Rainbows and has been like this this since starting school. But other kids can be completely different, she had friends who would fall asleep in class in Reception or fall asleep when they got home.

How has your dd settled op?
Hope alls ok

Like PP I'd consider a nanny/au pair or childminder. It'll be less tiring for her to be in a home environment with fewer kids.

MrsP2015 - Gosh you are talking like small children are robots, you sound more concerned about making money, than the well-being of your child.
In my opinion, it would be very unfair on the child to expect them to attend breakfast club, school and after-school club, my daughter is exhausted after a day at school. Has anyone stopped to think about these children and how they’re feeling, they may cope but it doesn’t mean they want to go. Children are only young once, enjoy them whilst you can.!