I miss him so much.......

[Landlubber2019]

My ds is away from home until Friday with an organised group, I hate it and can't wait til he comes home. He has been away before and I have always loved the opportunities these experiences bring. But this time, I heard information as they left, which i felt could lead to conflict within the group, I raised this with the organiser who has chosen to monitor the situation advising me that issues have arisen but overall my child is happy and refused to follow my suggestions. The organiser has also drip fed that my child has misbehaved and complained of a tummy ache but fails to acknowledge that my child is showing signs of stress. I haven't slept in days, I am either not eating or comfort eating shit.... I can not believe how stressful this week has been and can t wait til friday

You sound very, very anxious. You’ve been told your child is happy, so what’s the problem? Why do you think your child is showing signs of stress? Why are you in contact with the organisers at all when they are away? They seem to be aware of any issues and are sorting it.

thank you for replying. I feel really really anxious as I called the organisers to raise my concerns as they left but I only found no action had been taken from photo's online the following day. I had, incorrectly, assumed they had followed my suggestion or would have called me to reassure me. I am not in touch with anyone on camp, instead I am talking to someone else who is in touch with the group.I don't feel my concerns for my child's wellbeing has been at the forefront of any decision making, he has been put in a position where I have been told there was conflict within the group within hours of arrival in the the exact place I anticipated, but they have refused to make changes. The fact he has a / has had a tummy ache is speaking volumes to me and short of driving to collect him, I can only wait this out

You sound like he's away with the army what are you on about conflict? Do you mean he's at serious risk of harm or a few kids are having a bit of primary school bickering?

I think the main problem here is that you need to see someone about your anxiety as this is absolutely not normal. He obviously wanted to go beforehand and wasn't worried he was going to be in 'conflict'?. I should think that you are the cause of his stomach ache to be honest. If I was the school and you were behaving like this I would refuse to take him on trips again unless there is a massive bullying backstory you're not telling us?

The title of your thread makes it seem like you just can't cope with him going and now your imagination is running riot.

Presumably if he's at a residential trip with primary school he is at least 9-10 years old? Does he have additional needs?

He might have a bit of a stressful week. That's not nice, but also the end of the world. It is not our job as parents to eliminate any source of stress or discomfort for children. It's your job to help him process and recover from it when he gets back, the experience away from you will also allow him to begin developing his own coping mechanisms, which is an important life skill.

The worst thing anyone can do for children when they take them way is make them homesick by bringing up the fact their parents miss or worry about them etc.

There are bound to be the odd issue as kids often have silly arguments failings out. Its rarely necessary fir full on interventions and plans involving parents .

I think you need to seek help to manage your anxiety. I'm.not trying to be nasty but no wonder he's getting stomach aches if you act like this. This will be the stress. Not the trip.

There is a huge backstory, not necessarily involving my child, which include bullying, mental health anxiety, poor behaviour leading to multiple exclusions and special needs.

Whilst I have been reassured, this has been drip fed with negativity which they have needed to address. My child was receiving anxiety counselling earlier this year and had he known who he would be placed with, I am unsure he would have gone.

A week with the army could be no worse

thanks for all the responses, I would add that i haven't been able to speak to my child (not have I asked to) so he should not be aware of my week from hell. I don't know why he has tummy ache, I can only presume he is stressed.
He goes away fairly regularly with other groups, I have never worried.

When I collect him, I will plaster a smile on my face, behave rationally and try to find out how he has been

Tomorrow it will be Friday and it will be all over. You will have him back and can find out how he is. As you’ve decided you’re not going to go and get him - right decision imo - try and make yourself feel less anxious. IME our thoughts of what’s happening to our children while their away, our imagined scenarios are often not actually right!
I bet amongst some yummy ache, a bit of anxiety and the odd bit of bad behaviour he’s having a great time! Remember you usually hear the bad stuff before the good stuff comes out!