DS (Y1) hates reading

[CarrotPuff]

He's not been a fan in reception, but now he's gone back to school he just doesn't want to do it. I never really pushed it in R as I didn't want to put him off reading, and I thought he's quite young still. But now I'm trying to instil a bit more of reading daily routine, and he's having none of it. He's moaning, kicking off, and being quite rude. It's turning into a battle which is a wrong way to approach it but I'm a bit lost what to do!

Do I just leave him be for a few days? As I said, I don't want to push him but I know he has to practice to learn. If I left him to it, he'd probably would never do it.

I do think the timing is probably not ideal - we come home, they watch a bit of tv, then we do the reading. When really they just want to carry on with tv, so he's already frustrated before we even start, although I do tell him in advance how the evening is going to go.

Any ideas? Would also like to hear what are your children's routines in the evenings if you work full time. I think some of it is probably tiredness, but there isn't any other time I can do it.

My younger DD was like this and she was indeed behind for some years with reading. I battled and battled. One thing that helped was getting her comics to read instead of the books from school.

I decided reading SOMETHING was more important. Also reading packets and signs in the street.

I also used to make it more attractive to sit down to read with me by building a den and having sweets (i know I know...but she couldn't resist that)

I used to get her to read one page and I'd do the next. She's 11 now and her reading is perfectly where it should be.

If you'd asked me about it when she was 7 or 8 though I'd have told you I was very worried about it. She just sort of caught up by about 9-10.

We do it at breakfast, it's much easier than persuading him during TV time!!

We only ever managed at bedtime. Not ideal but it's all my children ever had, and DD age 12 still reads with DH every night. They'd read to us, then we'd read to them, or we'd take it in turns in the same book. One child was very resistant to reading. We got him to point at a word while we read it, then gradually he would read just the 'the's or whatever, and we built up to him reading more of the book. No matter how little he was saying, he had to stay engaged to move his finger in time and say his words. He learned well from this method while thinking he was getting out of having to read. I think for him the anxiety was a big blocker (he's autistic). We often couldn't convince him to read his reading book but I had a set of Songbirds I'd switch in, or we'd read something else.

You could also try straight after tea, at the table.

DS was really behind at the start of year 1 and didn't enjoy reading at all. We did the reading as soon as we came home from school, so he knew he had to do it first. Also did various other reading, his choice of boys, comics, signs, instructions. We worked on his phonics as that's were he was struggling an once that fell in to place he was more confident with his reading.

By the end of year one he had caught up. The school were really supportive and also worked with him.

Ds1 and ds2 were both highly reluctant readers. Ds2 point blank refused (and also refused to write or count, even though he could) which was actually useful as he got a referral to an occupational therapist who diagnosed a few issues and worked with him 1-2-1. Now in Year 4 he still dislikes reading out loud and the books given to him by school but will read to himself quite happily. He has the odd age appropriate books but what he actually loves is reading anything to do with his current obsessions which are the Tudors and the Egyptians, even if they are way beyond what the school would give him. I know he understands when is written as he then proceeds to tell me all about it...

Ds1 wasn't quite as bad but it was still painful. For him it was actually going to secondary that helped- they have compulsory quiet reading time and he got into a few adventure series.

With both of them we did turn taking so they didn't have to read the whole block of text. We also used to cover the page with paper so they could concentrate on the line they were reading- this tied in with one of ds2's issues which was visual processing. Like a pp we also did lots of non-book reading like packets in the supermarket, road signs etc. Minecraft books were good as they'd read instructions and build things.

Dd was my good reader who loved it. Now the boys read more than her. (She discovered art so is permanently surrounded by paint instead)

My son is a bit like this and he is also Y1...his reading level is above his age but he's not really willing to sit down and do it. I let it go a bit in reception but towards the end of it I decided that we need a routine and him getting used to the idea that we HAVE to do it every day. It was a bit of a struggle in the first week but then he finally got that it's a daily thing and just went with it without arguing (too much). I saw a massive improvement in his reading after it became a daily thing.

What worked for us was to never allow tv or tablet time BEFORE doing the reading. We all come home at the same time around 5:30pm, he plays with his brother in the garden or with his trains or a board game with his dad...but no screen time. We read either before or after dinner, whatever works for the day and after that he is allowed a bit of time to watch TV or use the tablet and even then I try not to make this a daily thing. Better to engage with him in other ways as screen time is addictive, at least in our house. If you allow screen time first, then reading turns into the thing that prevents him from watching TV so I would definitely avoid it. Stick to a routine like 10 mins after dinner for example and THEN the reward of watching TV. Also, let him pick the books he likes...if it's dinosaurs he likes, go to the library and let him select which ones he wants on the topic, that way he has a say in what he reads. Best of luck and definitely stick with it, it does make a huge difference.

DS hated his reading books then too.
Thing is he loved books he’d chosen at the local library and reading his own books from home... but having to read the colour-coded school reading book robotically every night really turned him off reading for enjoyment and made it seem more like a chore.

I highly recommend reading what Michael Rosen has to say in the subject.
My son was not remotely interested in reading himself until year 2. However, he LOVED being read to, looking at books, choosing books from the school library, etc. For a while I was so stressed about it all, but thankfully one of his teachers told me to stop doing any reading homework with him and just read to him. That was all of year 1. It was lovely, there was no stress, he still showed no interest in trying to read anything himself. In year 2 it finally clicked and with the help of the teacher he caught up.very quickly. Not saying this to brag, but he got highest score possible in year 6 SATS reading, is an avid reader and reading mainly adult fiction now aged 12.
I'm glad that with the help.of the teacher and reading what people like Rosen say I was able to concentrate on what true purpose of reading is. And it should not be a chore.

My daughter is in year 3. I'm having the same problem. So much so that I wrote a page full in her reading record this morning to explain why once again we have only managed a page and to ask for help.
We probably spent half an hour sitting with her book and her messing around to actually read a page. At the first mention that it's reading time she dives on the sofa with her head buried and bum in the air whining.
She never reads enough to really "get into" the story. I've tried reading a chapter before where we need to read to get her back into it before she does her bit.
We have done the library trip, bookstore trips so she can choose her own, but while she might excitedly read the initial page that's the end of it.
He younger sister in year1 loves reading and will bring us books so she can read them to us which makes it all the more frustrating for us and my eldest I expect as the younger one is so eager to learn.
I'm dyslexic myself (but am an avid reader) and do wonder if my eldest suffers with traits. I have had her checked at the opticians for the colour overlay test but it just came up that she was normal in that respect.
So I'm following this post in case anyone comes up with something we haven't tried.

Mine always preferred non fiction books so I read them tonnes of books On dinosaurs, sharks, birds of prey and whatever else they wanted. Ds1 hardly ever read his school book throughout his whole time at primary school but his teachers were happy that he was reading other books and showing progression.
We always read at bedtime.

@HennyPennyHorror my DD is now 10 and is slowly gaining confidence but still behind where she needs to be. Did your DD struggle in SATS as a result of her reading? What comics did you use? Sorry for all the questions but I have tried to be relaxed about it and have done similar to you, but now really panicking as SATS are looming and she is very aware of her reading age being behind.

Barbar we solved the problem of SATS by emigrating to Australia...kidding...we did emigrate but not because of SATS ...although having had an older child go through them I do understand your worries...my youngest DD would have hated the whole thing.

Firstly don't panic about SATS they're for the school...not for DD. She WILL mature...where there are no special educational needs, I think reading is just like other skills which children have to learn...some just "get it" faster.

In terms of comics I used any old rubbish that she fancied...sometimes those awful cheap ones from Tesco or wherever...with free plastic tat on the front...other times, vintage Mandys and Buntys which she liked. Then I bought her graphic novels like Ghosts by Raina Telegmaster www.washingtonpost.com/news/comic-riffs/wp/2016/10/31/halloween-reading-raina-telgemeiers-ghosts-is-a-brilliant-day-of-the-dead-feast-for-young-readers/?noredirect=on

Her books are perfect...grown up enough to appeal...not scary enough to give nightmares and quite sophisticated stories but only in comic form.

Have you spoken to her teacher?

How does your DS feel about being read to?

Also, reading is a lot more than about books. My DS (now a teenager) read by himself very early, and has always been a confident reader - and this wasn't because of the bedtime story (although we did always have that), but because we went everywhere by public transport, where you are surrounded by text. Maps, ads, bus stops, street signs, shop signs.

When you have a small child to entertain on a journey, and you are surrounded by text, reading becomes part of the entertainment. The S C H O O OL painted on the road, the "danger of death" on electrical substations you walk by (my DS LOVED those), the names of tube stations, tracing out the names of shops with his finger in the air. I even remember the first time he understood the difference between uppercase and lowercase - it was while standing on a memorial bench in the park, trying to work out what the little plaque screwed to the back of the seat said.

Above all, don't worry. He's still tiny. Plenty of kids don't read until later, and are no worse than kids who read early. It's far better to relax now and not make it a Big Deal and stress him out, and make it all a chore. It'll come.

@HennyPennyHorror thanks so much. I am due to speak to her teacher soon. I have been relaxed about SATS but don’t want her written off at secondary school if she doesn’t do great. She has consistently been graded as ‘working towards’ (as opposed to ‘not met’) and they don’t believe there is any underlying issue. She is summer born and just hates reading. I will look at your recommendations. Thanks again and sorry for hijack.

Following this as my Year 6 summer born son will only really read comics, mainly the Beano, but school are stressing how they need reading speed and fluency for SATs as they put an extra 750 words in the SATS paper last summer without warning and borderline kids failed it as they just didn't read the paper quickly enough. He's never clicked with reading at all but loves being read to.

I'm concerned he'll end up in lower sets at secondary school than he's capable of because of his SATs results. He failed his Year 2 SATs as he couldn't read the questions at all.

DH and I are avid readers and we've tried to read different things with him, comics, non-fiction, kindle etc. but nothing has really clicked then a GP told us to reduce his screen time to improve his behaiour, which stuffed any kindle usage.

I just don't think our schools have any way of engaging children for whom reading just doesn't click. They just write them off in end of year reports as "working towards" standards that they should be able to achieve. It's so disheartening.

LaLa if he does end up in a lower set, could you get him a tutor? He will more than likely mature and move up sets if he's kept pushing himself.

@SayOohLaLa your son sounds similar to my DD. I feel for the schools in the way they are measured but because our kids were ‘working towards’ at year 2, then as long as they are ‘working towards’ at year 6, they will be deemed as making ‘expected progress’. I think they will be having to spend more time with the kids who met standard at year 2 but are now borderline for meeting year 6 because of the increase in words. The fluency focus is a massive issue as I can see my DD who was doing ok comprehension wise, now losing the thread of what she is reading because she is trying to read so fast.

Year 1 is age what, 5? 6? Some countries don’t even begin formal reading instruction until 7. I think it’s kind of like some babies are walking at 9 months, other are more like 18 months before they’re confident on their feet. But, barring disabilities, they all get there eventually. It’s one of those things where if you make it into a battle you can really destroy their love of reading. I’d maybe focus on reading to him, letting him choose library books (fiction or nonfiction) and all the other everyday bits of reading.. Signs when you’re out and about, comic books, recipes as part of cooking together.. It must be stressful when school is putting pressure on though. My reluctant reader is now 12 (diagnosed with dyslexia at age 9) and can read fluently and even does so for pleasure (a kindle helped as he can adjust the font and print size to suit).

As we'd always read to them before bed, we incorporated it into that. Sometimes I read one page, dc read the next. If they were too tired I'd have made bed/ reading time earlier. Then i read to them

We all get in at 6. DS1 (now Y2) knows that he does his reading (and these days practises his spellings) before he gets 30 minutes screen time. So if he mucks about then his screen time vanishes (bathtime is 7).

Yes, he grumps sometimes, particularly if he’s late in for some reason, but DH and I both hold the line and it seems to work.

Thank you everyone for your responses.

He absolutely LOVES being read to, and we do read at bedtime every day. He just doesn't want to do it himself.

I will make sure that if tv goes on it's after any reading or homework or whatever, as that probably wasn't ideal. Ideally it won't be on during the week at all...

I like the idea of taking turns. I think I'll back off for a bit though, and maybe give him a choice of doing other things instead, so he feels a bit in control. He didn't resist reading so much towards the end of reception though, so maybe I'm expecting too much too soon.

Thank you!

You cannot underestimate the value of reading to your child. Best way of showing them that reading takes you to whole new world, is for fun (daft voices!) and broadens their vocabulary. Most school scheme books are really dry.

SayOohLa Keep reading to your son. He's not too old. It can become a bit of a vicious circle of not so good at reading so can't read age appropriate books. There are a lot of good audio books that he could listen to as he reads the book eg Falcons Malteser and buy the second hand book for pennies.

He absolutely LOVES being read to

Then I think you can totally relax!

So yesterday we came home, and instead of putting tv on I gave them a snack. Then I suggested to do some reading, DS said he really didn't want to. So I said that's fine, we can do some writing or mathletics instead. He chose mathletics, he quite likes it. Once we finished I said it was time to go upstairs and get ready for bed, and he said... he wanted to do some reading! So we read 2 books, he was really focused, and well behaved, and said he really likes reading after all! Tonight again he insisted on reading, I had to stop him mid book as he was getting really tired. So I think we're good now... I did believe he'll come around but didn't quite expect it so soon! He chose his school books himself this time, which really helped too I think.

You might want to look into getting a SchoolVision assessment (or similar)? It might be that his eyes are not quite working together well, and making reading really hard work for him.
I know several kids who have had this assessment and got special glasses, which have made a huge difference. It does involve £££ though...