Lunchtimes supervisor passing messages through child

[Blitzcreek]

On Friday ds10 told me that he had a message for me from a lunchtime supervisor.

Apparently she said "tell your mum not to make your sister have school dinners anymore because she doesn't eat them and never will".

He is adamant she said this, he hasn't made it up or got anything mixed up - but as he's 10 I'm going to check anyway. It's his favourite dinnerlady so I'm sure he wouldn't make it up.

So if this is true should she be doing this?? Is this normal with siblings at the same school?? Should any messages be sent directly to me or through the class teacher??

I wouldn't worry about it; your DS is ten...not 4. It's not like she said "Tell your Mum that your sister's naughty" or something.

She was probably being a bit flippant when she said that to DS and since she's his fave, you can be confident she's doing SOMETHING right.

Did you ask his sister about her lunches?

Dd said it was disgusting. She says she only ate carrots and cucumber from the salad bar and had cheese crackers and apple slices for desert. She's 5 so everything is disgusting.

The universal school lunches for R and KS1 needs to be knocked on the head IMO. The amount of food wasted by children who would be much happier with a packed lunch containing things their parents know they will eat is shocking.

Regarding the midday assistant - I agree with Henny.

I am impressed the dinner lady notices who eats what. But agree she shouldn't be sending messages home via a child. Plus she might get hungry enough to try something one day or see a friend wating something and decided to try it so what she said is nonsense anyway. Plus what if u dont have time/money for pack lunches.
The tone in which she said it matters a lot here and children dont always pick up on tone. If she said it jokingly (hmm let it go)or seriously (not acceptable). She is your daughter u will decide if she goes dinners or pack lunches in any case.

It wasn’t an official communiqué was it, just a casual tip off from someone who presumably cares about your kids. Don’t waste time getting your knickers in a twist about “official lines of communication”, it’s a chat about sandwiches not the United Nations.

I'm sure she's just trying to be helpful, letting you know your dd doesn't eat the school dinners, you know so she's not starving.

MargotLovedTom1

Oh and a lot of kids are sent to school with no breakfast, they may not get an adequate meal at dinner, if they get one at all. Some kids rely on school dinners to be fed, but yes let's knock that nonsense on the head because some of the other children waste some of their school dinner

Drogos I suspect the majority of children in those situations are from low-income families who would be entitled to FSM anyway. And what about children in KS2 and beyond 'who may not have breakfast, and may not get an adequate meal at dinner if they get one at all'? Do they cease to matter once they enter Y3 and universal FSM do not apply any more?

Oh god another non issue a mum can get het up about. 🙄🙄 Just pop in and ask the teacher or write a quick note in her diary. Seriously a NON ISSUE.

She's 5 so everything is disgusting.
What? Since when? Plenty of 5 year olds like their food and aren't fussy.
Sounds like the dinner lady has got it spot on.

I would seriously appreciate any tip offs concerning my child. Someone notices your child and cares enough to let you know if something isn't right. I would be very happy about that rather than worrying about the right communication channel.
Also, I would be worried if my child wasn't eating much since it is a long day at school. Are you concerned about that? We have a four year old who started school. And most of her friends have been very happy with the lunch and don't say it is yucky.

It sounds like she has a good relationship with your DS and has noticed your DD isn't eating at lunch so has given you a tip off.

The other option would be she spoke to the class teacher and said she's really concerned and that the class teacher may want to keep and eye or call home. She will probably already have had to record the lack of eating anyway, but I'd take this as an old fashioned act of kindness.

I would want to know if my child wasn't eating anything for lunch. Strange u r so caught up on how it was communicated, it shows that she cares.

I would want to know if my child was going all day with little or no food. I'd be grateful someone noticed and got a message to me. I wouldnt care if it was an 'official' method of communication, carrier pigeon, or his brother.
It really is a bone issue. I'd thank her for noticing.

None issue. Not bone.

**
It wasn’t an official communiqué was it, just a casual tip off from someone who presumably cares about your kids. Don’t waste time getting your knickers in a twist about “official lines of communication”, it’s a chat about sandwiches not the United Nations.**

This made me laugh. Spot on!

Sounds to me like your daughter asked her brother to say it rather than the lunchtime supervisor.

I would seriously appreciate any tip offs concerning my child. Someone notices your child and cares enough to let you know if something isn't right.

Surely not ones which violate the debrette's guide for interacting with children?

Isn't it better if everyone who works with children behaves like a soulless automoton? We can't run the risk that someone might do something which a parent might disagree with.

Dinner ladies are more aware of what children don't eat than do. They notice half eaten plates, so if a child is doing it every day, they'll definitely pick up on it.

Teachers often don't listen to suggestions about telling parents either, so so perhaps the dinner lady tonight she was doing you a favour. Can't see why you're getting so offended by it. Don't you want to make,sure,your DD has eaten enough through the day?

I'm a lunchtime supervisor. We are not supposed to communicate with parents about what goes on in school. If we have concerns they have to go via the class teacher. It also works the other way, parents should not be asking me how much their child eats but they do. I just refer them back to the class teacher if they have concerns.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of this though, she was just trying to help. Perhaps she had told the teacher and they forgot/ didn't think it was important.

One of the dinner ladies sent a message like that to me, only Ds was my oldest so she sent a note.
He wasn't eating anything even though I told them he'll eat it all with no gravy or sauces So I switched him to packed lunch and everyone was happy.