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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

wwyd

48 replies

VeganVeganVegan · 14/09/2019 08:44

Will try and make this as short as possible. After the end of May half term I moved my two younger children from a large school (700+ children age 4-11) to a catholic school with under 100 children. This was because my daughter now in year 5 age 9 was completely friendless and extrememly unhappy. My son age 6 had a group of friends and didn't want to move but I thought I was doing the best thing. Dd has settled amazing she has fitted straight in and has made friends and is like a different child. My son is also like a different child he is deeply unhappy. He has no friends and there seems to be something every day. This week a boy punched him in the private area, the next day the same boy bit him, he has been excluded from playing with the other boys. Someone pulled his hair, whipped him continuously with their jumper and told him nobody likes him. I have been into the school to try and resolve it but they are saying my son needs to make more effort to fit in and make friends. He is so sad and every day he's saying he just wants his old school and friends back. I think the problem is he is a very quiet sensible boy and in the old school there were lot's of children like him to be friends with. But in this school he is one of 7 boys in his class. I've spoken to the admissions officer and she has said there is a place for him after October half term in the other school but I can push for sooner. Husband is no help and I have nobody to talk to please just tell me what would you do in this situation? Dd will be staying in the catholic school.

OP posts:
VeganVeganVegan · 17/09/2019 19:28

@lovemenorca I bloody know I did wrong I genuinely thought I was doing best, but I want to make this right. I feel awful and am holding my hands up that I made a big fucking mistake.
As for the receptionist well it's an odd set up. She is the heart of the school. Everything goes through her. You cannot see the class teachers you discuss a problem with her. She wants me to forward the email I received today confirming my son's place at old school so she can put in a complaint.

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mankyfourthtoe · 17/09/2019 19:32

And tell her you'll be following that complaint up with one of your own to the governors and ofsted

lovemenorca · 17/09/2019 19:33

A complaint against whom??

VeganVeganVegan · 17/09/2019 20:13

A complaint against the admissions officer for agreeing to an in term transfer. So much of what happened and my conversations with her and other teachers was denied that I started to question if any of it happened. It was very odd. If I can figure out how to remove anything identifiable from the email I will post it here, there is nothing for her to complain about as far as I can see but I won't be forwarding it.

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viques · 17/09/2019 20:32

Don't show us the email, we don't need to see it, and nor does the school!

If the other school has a place and you apply for it you are perfectly entitled to accept it and move immediately. (Preferable ASAP and certainly before school census day in early October.)

A very small RC school with vacancies in more than one year group? Sounds as though they could have a problem with their numbers, and win the attitude of the staff I am not surprised.

viques · 17/09/2019 20:33

With.

Newhomenewarea · 17/09/2019 20:41

I must say the attitude of the school is awful. I hope it continues to be a safe and happy place for your DD as it sounds awful and very unsupportive

birdling · 22/09/2019 12:03

Good grief, that school sounds terrible!

Pud2 · 22/09/2019 13:29

The receptionist has far too much power which is wrong. She has no right to see the letter. The school will be annoyed because the census is coming up and the funding is based on bums on seats. It’s very wrong. It should be about the child and what’s best for him.

GreenTulips · 22/09/2019 13:35

Please start writing down a time line who you spoke to what they said etc so you can formulate a very professional letter

Do not make it personal!

mankyfourthtoe · 22/09/2019 15:26

Hoping he settles back in quickly

VeganVeganVegan · 22/09/2019 18:02

Hi everyone, ds went back to his old school. I was trying my best not to cry when he went down to join the class and as soon as they all saw him the children were jumping up and down shouting his name and hugging him. It was honestly like he never left. Then on Friday I was a little later bringing him to the class because I had to go to the office first and the teacher said thank goodness he's here because the children have been asking constantly where he is, he's like a celebrity. He is so happy again and I'm glad to put this behind us.

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mankyfourthtoe · 22/09/2019 18:39

Fantastic

Rupertpenrysmistress · 22/09/2019 21:49

I am so pleased for you OP and your son my heart broke when I read about how unhappy your son was. I am so glad this has a happy ending.

adagio · 24/09/2019 19:50

That is brilliant news! You must be delighted 😁

VeganVeganVegan · 27/09/2019 07:41

So now thing's have started to go downhill for dd. Yesterday in the dinner hall three year six boys (dd is yr 5 summer born) taunted and mocked her for being vegan and pushed a ham sandwich into her face. She was pretty upset about this as you can imagine. The lunchtime supervisor just moved her tables and her class teacher just said they were just playing and perhaps they were just being interested in veganism. I'm going to go in this morning and undoubtedly have to discuss this with only the receptionist.

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mankyfourthtoe · 27/09/2019 08:51

Good lord, they really are deluded

VeganVeganVegan · 27/09/2019 09:25

I have to go back at 9.45 after much back and forth with the receptionist who was insistent nobody could see me at all today apart from her. I teach my children not to preach at all and not to even mention the veganism. She didn't another child on the table asked her if oreos were vegan. We live in a small town in pembrokeshire and back in January a vegan teen from the comprehensive school was in the news all over because other boy's tried to make him eat a bacon sandwich. In my eyes this is pretty bloody serious.

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adagio · 27/09/2019 10:42

Oh dear I’m so sorry. I hope it goes well for you, but to be honest the school don’t seem exactly on top of pastoral care/bullying etc. Is there any other schools you could consider (eg church in wales, switch from Welsh to English medium or vice versa - I didn’t see you mention if the original primary your buy is back with was Welsh or English.)

IggyAce · 27/09/2019 10:53

I would do all communication by email or letter, detailing the issue and that you want a response in writing of the actions the school are taking to deal with this matter. This means there is a paper trail and the school can’t brush it under the carpet.

VeganVeganVegan · 27/09/2019 10:56

It didn't go good, the teacher we spoke to (deputy) basically saw this as a waste of time. She said she would speak to the boy who actually put the ham in her face and as per school rules he can determine if it warrants punishment. I mean seriously?

I also asked if dd could not be seated with these boys in class (It's a year 5/6 class) or dinner but apparently this is out of the question. I feel like I may just poke myself in the eye.
It's a half day here so dd will mention if she received an apology.

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mankyfourthtoe · 27/09/2019 11:55

They decide their own punishment?? No wonder they're struggling

GreenTulips · 27/09/2019 12:26

Year 5/6 are quite mean as they near the end on junior school - 6 is far worse as boys start to assert themselves

Whilst not pleasant a one off interaction which has been dealt with teaches them all a lesson

Just keep an eye on it for now

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