Changing schools at the beginning of Year 1

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DD at large, oversubscribed primary school. But I don't love it. My main reasons are that the school sets from reception and I feel this has limited DDs progress and her social group. Just been offered a place at lovely, outstanding C of E infant school which would have been my first choice but not near enough for catchment in reception.

DD happy at her school. She is quite shy and happy go lucky, socially a bit immature so has not been involved in the dramas of friendships that some girls seem to have been involved in, but she has also been slightly bullied by one of them. She doesn't see it as that though, and just has other friends from the rest of the class. No one really close, though.

Academically she had a slow start but has made great progress in reading (I posted before about my frustration that she was in the bottom set for months in spite of making good progress - she eventually went up to the middle set in June).

I was offered the new school in June, turned it down, regretted it, went on the waiting list again, and have been offered it again. NOW I feel that I should take it now or I will regret it again. What I don't like about the current school is the streaming for Maths and English that will go on throughout. From my experience in reception, the lower ability groups were taught slowly and they were slow to see the progress when it happened. Worry that will continue. I really like the fact that the new school is faith based, lovely, secure, doesn't stream, is everything I wanted in a primary.

Having very nervously broached it with DD, she has now expressed that she wants to stay. I don't know whether to keep nurturing the idea of a move, as she is always nervous at the idea of change, or stick with the current school, in spite of my reservations about progress and social things / friendships. However, I have met a lovely group of mums and feel quite settled too. I think DD won't naturally make close friends at the new school, and i will need to try to get integrated and arrange playdates etc, but i'm prepared to do that.

Help! Am in a right old quandry. Have to decide asap. TIA

If the new school is an infants is there a junior school associated do you like it and will she get in? You dont seem happy with the existing school and that would be s big factor for me. There is lots of movement in friendships in infant years so I wouldn't worry too much about that if you move her.

Change school, you have already regretted not doing so once.

I’d move as well.

If they stream they are more likely trying to increase the average scores and unless they have a TA in each class for maths and English it doesn’t sound as though your daughter will improve ’ Out of the bottom set

Moved mine at the same point - not because of setting but just she was a square peg in a round hole at her school and it wasn't the greatest (head and her buddies have since left, along with half the governors)... was absolutely my finest parenting decision so far as she absolutely thrived in the new school, made a lovely set of friends and the school were also fantastic for the parents and entire family of the kids there. She just fitted better at the second school - if I had asked her if she wanted to change school of course she would have said no as as far as she saw it - her friends were there and it was all she knew - however in reality she'd only really made one friendship (and it was one where they basically both egged on the worst bits in each other) and the others were just kids she played alongside - so I presented it as "We're not really happy with some things that have been going on with the grown ups in the school and want you to go to X school - let's have a look at the outside of it, and we can look at some pictures on their website and what the uniform is" - and she was fine with that and is very happy now that we did swap her (2 years down the line).

I would say move now as you regretted not doing so before.

HOWEVER I do have to say that you might be being a bit blinkered about the streaming. Our school doesn't do any streaming so no personal experience here as a parent but having many years experience working in schools it is perfectly possible that even with a big improvement she would still be bottom set or just going into middle as other children improve too, they are probably making equal progress to her but from a higher starting point so staying ahead if that makes sense. Any year will have children of all levels of ability and all personalities and learning styles. Sometimes children are in the bottom group not because they are among the weakest as such but because they are more confident in that group or with extra support which will enable them to make more progress than they would potentially in a middle group with less support. I do know children who have been bottom group and had extra support, made great progress and moved up but then had to work more independently and have dropped back down again. in one case this has happened more than once. So not saying this is the case with your daughter but perhaps try to be open minded about their approach.

All schools “set” informally. The DC who are at similar attainment levels doing similar work tend to sit together. It’s not usually quite so obvious though at this age. It won’t be much different where you are looking except it might be less clear to you at the moment. But it soon will be because you will be looking for it!

Someone is always top, middle and bottom. If she’s made good progress, I would be very pleased. The teachers will assess progress by using their policy for all children. They don’t assess your DD more harshly than others. Have you asked her teacher about assessment and progress? They should have detailed information to share with you if you ask and then you would be assured that it’s fair and accurate. As you don’t see the work of other children, how do you know she has not been assessed accurately?

I’m not sure what mild bullying is. Is this an assertive child that you don’t like? Bullying does have a definition in anti bullying policies and either this child’s behaviour fits the description, or it doesn’t. You child doesn’t seem bothered from what you say so has avoided damaging conflict. She has friends and that’s good.

I think you need to consider what school is available after the Infants school? Is it linked? Will you get a place?

I quite like larger schools due to better sport, music and drama opportunities and they often have more going on. More teachers can mean a more flexible staffing set up with more skills amongst the staff. However this possible move seems to be more about you. Your DD seems happy but isn’t where you want her to be. This might not happen at a different school either.

Incidentally the school we moved my kids to is an out of catchment infant school - after considering all the risks that entailed in terms of progression to the juniors etc. Was still the right decision for us.

Thank you for all your very helpful replies.

Last night reading these, I felt reassured that I had made the right decision to accept the place (which I have done - but not yet told the old school).

Pantsy, your experience feels very similar to mine and therefore very reassuring.

But I have woken up again in a huge quandry again feeling as though I am doing the wrong thing by moving her.

Your comments about ability groups are really helpful, nonickname and bubbles. I think deep down I AM being blinkered about the ability groups. I realise that she would be in ability tables at the new school, but somehow I just felt that being not divided into an actual set (with children from the 3 classes) would mean she has access to the curriculum that I felt she wasn't getting in reception. Stuck on pahse 2 and then phse 3 phonics until April - it did my head in! I taught lots of extra support at home and her reading really took off and eventually they decided to move her up anyway... But i hear what you are saying loudly and clearly about her style of working and needing the support. She works better in small groups (report said it), is shy, works best 1:1 with me actually (never puts her hand up at school, for example). I think I am realising that this isn't going to be solved by moving schools. This is how she is. I think I need to face that.

I have just been looking at current school's website and see they have 3 (!) TAs for each Year 1 class! I don't know is they are all there all the time but that is pretty amazing.

More to follow

I also agree that I think this is more about me than her.

The bullying thing I don't want to go into details for anonymity's sake but even the word bullying was mentioned by the girl's mother. But it was mild and DD not bothered. When I said she has friends, I meant she plays alongside loads of children, talks about them lots of them, just has no special ones. But that is her slightly odd character too.

Pantsy, did you get a place at the juniors?

We are out of catchment for the juniors, but are very likely to get it on second round (August). Before that I don't know quite what we will do as a back up. It's not ideal, and it's the one thing that stopped me moving her before.

(Sorry - one of my periodic namechanges) Yeah we got a place at the juniors for the first child (who we moved for Y1)... second child applies this year but at the moment the year group isn't full as we have a local academy that recruits and poaches pupils massively so I'm not worrying yet (think there are like 6 spaces in the cohort who all tend to move up together).

Sounds very very like DD1 when you're describing her character to be honest - she really clicked into the new social group and has genuine friendships now rather than flitting alongside lots of them like she was doing.

Honestly I wouldn't move a child who was happy and settled unless I had to move house.

I don't think you should let the fact you regretted your last decision be a reason to change it. You would have regretted whichever decision you made. Doesn't mean it was wrong. (Been in a similar situation).

Thank you for these more recent posts (and your reply, Kuponot (v reassuring).

I think your comment about regretting a decision but still not acting on it is a wise one, Rudolph.

I think I have resolved not to move her. I have reluctantly (!) accepted that there are not enough benefits for her to justify the disruption for her. It seems it’s more about me. I recognise that my daughter may need me to support her academically wherever she is and that may as well be in her current school. She works better 1:1, seems to sometimes hide what she knows in school and concentration is better in a small group is better than a large. I still think there might be some ADHD issues that I will pursue. All of which leads me to feel that a move won’t resolve any of those issues.

However...!!!

... I get a bit panicked about the thought of facing the same frustrations in a few weeks’ / months’ / terms’ time re the setting and then regretting putting up and staying put. I don’t expect her to be in the top group (far from it) - I just fear she may be placed in bottom sets again and the same thing will happen again, ie low expectations. I just have this feeling that the proper setting system (not just tables in a class where the content delivered is for all, but streamed groups being taught the curriculum at completely different rates) is one that I find frustrating and not inclusive. All my research on this (google-central, is all!) seems to suggest that it only benefits the most able children. Lower sets = lower expectations. Anyone agree or disagree with this? Can you help me out there? (Tables too but there must be more fluidity between sets on tables? ) And indeed DD was held back by not being introduced to all phases in phonics (I know it’s only early days and only phonics but it could replicate later with other parts of the curriculum) - anyway, the sounds weren’t all taught so I taught them to her and her reading took off. She was assessed as exceeding in reading at the end of the year which I was delighted with but I still worry that a child like mine who iseems to learn in her own way will not benefit in the long run from a full streaming system. I want her to have access to the content at the same time as everyone else.

Maybe I am still being blinkered though? 😊 i think I probably am. I think I am probably not accepting her ability fully or how her learning style suits different groups and a school move won’t change this. I guess the social stuff and friendship matters to me a lot too but if she’s happy, I think I had better accept where she is.

Any further responses welcomed! 😂

I think as parents we all have to be realistic. In reality the way schools teach works for the majority. there are obviously a minority for whom it doesn't work. One of mine has just finished primary and the other only has a year left there. I would say that the way the early years are taught really didn't do anything for either of them. There were plenty of times to be honest some of it really was a waste of time. For whatever reason they were among the top in their years, both are clever and both pick up quickly. Both spent a lot of time sat around redoing stuff they could do with their eyes shut. both have done very well, whether this is down to luck, natural ability or good teaching later on I don't know but either way it hasn't done them any harm even though it didn't actually work for them if that makes sense. one has enjoyed it, one has despised every day of school.

What I am trying to say is that some things might not appear to work for her and maybe they don't but whilst I have had plenty of complaints about teachers and curriculums (both from my own school days and my children's and I have a background of working in education) and whilst I could see ways that would have worked better for MY children unless I homeschooled them we have to learn to accept the "one size kind of has to fit all" approach schools are required to take by necessity.

Teachers in my experience rarely have low expectations of the lowest group, if anything this group often gets a lot of extra input in order to try very hard to get them up the levels as much as possible. It might not be obvious yet and taking the early stages slowly is often very beneficial to any children who find it harder to pick things up or grasp new ideas but it will rarely do them any damage in the long run. mine repeated ALL the phonics stages very slowly alongside their class, it hasn't harmed. the year 6 SATS results at their school were very very good and certainly from the ones we know they were all helped to reach their potential.

You are still at the start of her school journey. Just carry on supporting her as much as possible at home, trust her teacher (and if in doubt speak to them, say you are concerned she has fewer opportunities to move up, perfectly valid concerns and any good teacher will be happy to put your mind at rest) and just encourage your daughter to believe in herself. She may well always be in the bottom groups or she may suddenly come into her own and move up them. Only time will tell (I have seen plenty of children who were top sets in R/Yr1/Yr2 drop down in KS2 as the work changes, gets harder, focus is different, they lose interest, their advantage from being taught to read and write at home wears off, English as a second language children suddenly speed up etc etc etc)

I volunteer in a girls' primary school, and there is a lot of fluidity in numbers. Children seem to be leaving, and joining, each week! Without exception, the new girls are always welcomed with open arms, and are assimilated as "one of the class" very quickly indeed. So, I wouldn't let any concerns you may have about making friends, settling in etc affect your decision. She will be fine!