Child who can't cope with school

[scittlescatter]

My DC started school last year and it was a bit of a disaster. Not coping: tantrums, falling asleep. Very difficult to get her into school. She would scream the whole way to school while being dragged in.

Now it is the holidays, her behaviour is miles better. No more tantrums, generally a lot happier.

She still doesn't like group settings though: playgroups make her anxious. She says she doesn't like people and loud noise.

She is fine in small groups though. Generally very happy and affectionate, and I have no concerns about her general development.

Any ideas for restarting school in September? I am thinking about ear defenders, but unsure if this is perpetuating a problem

Did she go to preschool/nursery? How was she there?

One of my nephews is like this. In the end they switched schoold and he went to a school of a quite strict religion because their classes were so small (5-6 kids). The classes were so small because there aren't a lot of people of that religion in the area. His parents don't follow this religion (and it's not in UK) but the school was fine with that as long as he kept to the rules and participated in morning prayer. He loved it there and had good grades. Now he goes to the religious secondary.

My son (who is autistic amongst a lot of other diagnosis) struggled a lot in reception because by its nature it is noisy, unstructured and generally chaotic.

Year 1 was much easier for him because the day was more structured and there was a lot less “free play” so it was generally quieter.

Can she hear ok? Not a expert but a friends dc didn't like loud noises and was very tired. Turns out they were virtually deaf, had picked up on lip reading very young and was exhausted with it. Go and see a gp as a start.

I agree with the PP who said you need to get your head out of the sand.

There is clearly an issue underneath this whether it's autism, asd, hearing problems and you need to get it sorted or at least start the process before September.

School Governor here and link governor for SEND. It is not unusual for some children to find the hustle and bustle and noise in reception too much. Always seems to improve as they grow older and dramatically into KS2. I would echo what others have said about talking to the Y1 teacher and also the SENCO. Your DD may simply not like the noise rather than having any underlying SEND. However a chat will ensure she is on the school's radar. Our school runs a nurture group for any child that has a need and this way the children have time away from the busy class setting. If nothing improves then consider looking around for a school that is better able to support her. It is difficult because a smaller school might sound ideal but will not be able to afford much in the way of extras. We are quite a large primary and hence can afford to run the nurture group.

Agree with MidniteScribbler

Please please please get her referred for assessment.

My DD was exactly the same in reception and unfortunately it didn't get any better.

Is private school an option? The class sizes are much smaller

School has not suggested getting her referred for an assessment. I would assume it would need to come from them.

Private school is not an option as not affordable.

It’s not easy to get referred for an ASD assessment but it is easy to get a hearing test - I believe HVs can refer for those if that’s easier for you than going via GP. Also fairly easy to get a referral from GP to an ENT to check tonsils/adenoids especially if she snores and is unusually tired with no other medical reason. The extreme tantrums could definitely be due to extreme tiredness.