Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

Original poster

Should I complain?

24 replies

Maggie789 · 09/07/2019 10:37

Hi,

I got a message from the school the other day that they had been having some problems with my DS at school. When i went to talk to the teacher about it they had been saying that this had been going on since the last half term so about 3 weeks. He is normally very obedient and well behaved but they said that he had been ignoring the teacher and wandering off when she was talking to him.
I was thinking about making a complaint about this as she said it had been going on for 3 weeks and this meeting was the first time that i heard that there was an issue. Do you think its reasonable that they waited 3 weeks before i knew anything was wrong?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Hadalifeonce · 09/07/2019 10:40

I would concentrate on trying to find out why his behaviour has deteriorated, has anything happened at home? Is his health OK? Is his eyesight/hearing OK?

Hairyheadphones · 09/07/2019 10:42

No you shouldn’t complain. Maybe they were waiting to see if he was just having a little blip in his behaviour and we’re hoping he would settle back down.
Concentrate on finding out how you can work together to help him rather than complaining.

LIZS · 09/07/2019 10:42

Maybe they hoped his behaviour would change or are now asking in case there is an issue you are aware of, social or at home for example. 3 weeks is really not long.

saraclara · 09/07/2019 10:42

Yes, it's reasonable to wait. A lot of behaviour problems are transitory, and the teacher will first find ways to manage and solve the issue.
There no point in worrying parents over nothing. The weeks is long enough to have tried some strategies, looked for a cause, but realised it wasn't going away.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 09/07/2019 10:43

I think you’re entitled to ask why they didn’t say anything sooner but I think complaining would be unnecessary.
Could your son be worried about his new class/ year? How old is your son?

Pipandmum · 09/07/2019 10:43

Complain to whom? They may have thought it was just a few incidents and they tried different things to engage him. Then they may have met amongst themselves and decided it was enough of a problem that you needed to be informed. It doesn’t sound like it’s a serious (bullying, tantrums) behaviour that would warrant more immediate involvement.
Check his hearing.

sleepingbelvi · 09/07/2019 10:46

Really? Rather than trying to find a something to complain to school about, perhaps focus your attention on your child's problems?

BurnedToast · 09/07/2019 10:47

I think they were trying to give him the benefit of the doubt by seeing if he stopped doing it before calling you. So, no I wouldn't complain. I would however work with them to try and deal with it.

EduCated · 09/07/2019 12:33

If they’d waited three months then yes, but three weeks - no. It’s time to see if he’s just having a couple of off days, for the teachers to try some initial strategies. Three weeks in this hasn’t been improving they’re stepping up the approach and contacting home. As someone else said, it’s not behaviour that necessarily needs immediate intervention (violence, bullying), especially if he’s normally very obedient.

Redpostbox · 09/07/2019 15:22

No you should not complain.

francescadrake · 09/07/2019 19:35

No, OP, don’t complain. The teacher will have been giving your children chances. Nothing wrong with that, as sometimes it’s enough.

francescadrake · 09/07/2019 19:35

*child

nuttybutter · 09/07/2019 20:08

Three weeks is nothing. They will have been watching to see if it's just a blip. Do not complain.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 09/07/2019 20:19

Complaining? They are trying to help.

Have you got any idea what is behind it?

Goldencarrot · 09/07/2019 21:00

Or perhaps you could thank the teacher for letting you know and trying to help and then focus on how you can help your child.

Honestly, no wonder we have a teacher retention crisis, they can't do anything right, even when trying to help.

fedup21 · 09/07/2019 21:02

No, don’t complain.

Speak to your child and find out what is going on. They’ve clearly been monitoring it for a couple of weeks and feel it’s not something that isn’t a blip and it needs a conversation with you.

EffYouSeeKaye · 09/07/2019 21:14

Three weeks is perfectly reasonable. How old is he?

No, you should not complain.

Needmorecoffeeortea · 10/07/2019 00:01

No. You should not complain!

annie987 · 10/07/2019 06:36

And this is exactly why teachers are leaving in droves!
Parents, who rather than focusing on their child, focus on the teacher!

PristineCondition · 10/07/2019 06:48

I think its fine
An initisl wait why they see if its one iff or a bad few days the. time to plan and try a few strategies before getting in touch.

Dont shy from the problem and hide behind it by picking on a non problem. Work with them

SummerInTheVillage · 10/07/2019 06:50

Your son is being a pain in the arse and you are thinking about complaining about the teacher?

Address your son's poor behaviour.

roundtable · 10/07/2019 06:53

Is this a joke?

How do you get from your child's rudeness to complaining about the teacher?!

Just how?

PurpleGentian · 10/07/2019 06:56

I wouldn’t complain.

I’d assume that they waited a few weeks in case it was a passing phase, or an issue that could be quickly resolved by them.

3 weeks isn’t an unreasonable length of time for them to wait before speaking with you.

RitatheBeater · 10/07/2019 07:03

Yes it’s reasonable that they ‘waited’ three weeks. Although it wasn’t waiting. They would have been trying different things during that time.

Your focus should be on your child and how to help him. Not on complaining about the teacher.

Now you are the one who is distracted and not listening to the teacher!

Flip