Help, ive decided to complaining to a teacher...

[queenqueenqueen]

Just that really!

I've decided to discuss things with my dds reception teacher. Weve felt quite upset over the year about her negative attitude towards her and want to say something before she moves up to year 1, im not particularly sure what I want from it but I feel id be doing my DD a disservice if I don't say something.

She's pretty much had nothing positive to say about her all year and I feel this is rubbing off as DD is often saying "well I won't be able to do it anyway" ...

I know some of you won't agree but I've given this a lot of thought.

Could anyone give any advice on how to approach this as I've never done this before and don't want to get all flustered and it come across wrong!!!!!

OP I don't think the suggestions that you complain to the school about the teacher were particularly unhelpful.

No problem. I’d also say, take your DH if you can so he can hear what’s said, ask questions about why certain feedback has been given about your DD (or not) and really listen. It might be that your DD is struggling in some way, or that her behaviour hasn’t been ideal, or the teacher has some kind of concern she’s avoided expressing (especially if she’s inexperienced). I’ve had experience of some teachers simply avoiding a difficult conversation and leaving it for the next teacher to tackle! I’d really dig in to why she hasn’t been positive about your DD.

What's the back story here? Is your child SEN? Does your child have behavioral issues? Have you previously annoyed the teacher? You make it sound like the teacher has singled out your child. Why?

If you honestly don't know or have any ideas why then you may be totally misunderstanding. The feedback may have been genuine about something specific and you have just taken it the wrong way. Teachers don't single out 5 year old children...

Whether you make a complaint or not, I think you need to make a list of what has upset you/DD and try to write out exactly what happened and what reactions were.

I would also avoid language like "you singled out my child" and instead phrase it such "it appeared that DD was singled out" or "I felt upset to learn she wasn't included" and ask the ask to provide explanations or clarify. Don't make accusations, just observations or perceptions that you would welcome their feedback on so you can understand the whole situation.

If you have an issue with the teacher you should speak to them directly. It wastes so much of a school's time when complaints are made before a basic conversation has taken place between parent and teacher.

The teacher should always be the first person you talk to when you have an issue.

Can you give us any examples of how she has been negative/what she has said?

Has the teacher said comments that aren’t positive or is this being fed back by child?

Honestly I think that it' sounds all a bit vague and you may come off as being a bit bonkers. If you are going to complain (at the end of the year which is already unusual). You need specific things/incidents to complain about not vague warbling statements about positivity. Remember this teacher will give next years teacher a hand over and you don't want to be tarnished as unreasonable before you even start the year.