Trying to decide...

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We are stuck with a decision. We are going to send our daughter to an independent school because we did not get a state place which would work logistically. These are the choices we can't decide between:

Option 1: She's at the nursery part of the school now and has a good friend who is staying on. Class size in reception will be about 11 (but more may join as the years go on). One teacher and one TA. Quite a lot of outdoor learning (e.g. forest school /outdoor lessons scheduled in timetable). Takes about 15-18 mins to drive. On my way to train station. On my non-work days (2 days per week) I'll have 1 year old in tow. Round-trip back home can take 50 mins including actual drop off time.

Option 2: School is about an 8 minute walk from home.. Husband will drop off on his way to work. I will collect. 2 classes per year, in early years about 12 per class. I don't think there is a dedicated TA for either class. Smaller grounds. Classrooms more cramped and less airy. Daughter will need to make new friends and she's quite anxious/quiet at times, and selective with friends. The more academic school. May give us a sense of community.

The backdrop to this decision is that we are likely to move area within the primary years, but we don't know when (could be 3 years, could be more).

What would you do? Put up with the drive to ensure continuity, or live for the present time and have faith my daughter will settle and make new friends, and we will benefit from the easier journeys?

I'd really welcome the views of anyone who may have made a similar decision in the past. Thank you.

Haven't made similar decision, but I'd go for Option 2.
Short term pain for long term gain.
11 in year is too small imo. 24 is much better.
Walking to school way better than driving.

Option 2 sounds preferable to me. They make friends so quickly at 4. 11 is too small for my liking but 22 in a year group is much more financially secure, and gives more of a safety net socially, than 11 in a year group.

If you are planning to move to a completely different area in the next few years, I would suck up the drive for the benefits of the outdoor education/ nicer learning environment.

Then pick something close to home later when your dc will benefit from walking there independently.

My ds who is shy moved nursery a few times. I retrospectively wish he hadn’t had to because he spent half the year settling in and gaining confidence both times. Staff thought he was a late talker because they never heard him speak.
This is fine if your dd isn’t going to be moving again in a few years.

Option 2, she is four, honestly kids don't really have friends at nursery, she will find someone new kids to play with and forget pretty quickly about nursery 'friends'.

And as someone speaking who went to a rural school that had roughly 10 kids in my year, it was shit. You had to get on with them even if you don't particularly enjoy their company otherwise if you have a falling out you will be eating lunch on your own. It is very clique and it is easy to gang up.

I am not really sure what outdoor classes are, I am sure it is nice in theory but given British weather I certainty wouldn't be basing my decision on an outdoor timetable.

Also you could spend more time in the outdoors yourselves instead of spending the time it takes to travel to and from option 1 school.

Op your options sounds exactly the same as mine when choosing a school for the children. Are you in a town that starts with the letter B? For what it's worth we went with the first option and are very pleased with the decision.

Option one

honestly kids don't really have friends at nursery, she will find someone new kids to play with and forget pretty quickly about nursery 'friends'.
Not all kids. Some will benefit not just from knowing some of the people but being in the same environment. Some kids clam up in a new environment and take a while to come out of their shell.

Thanks for all of your comments. Our daughter is not far off 5, and her friend at the existing school nursery is a good one. It took her a term to build the friendship, although she identified the friend within a few weeks. She will take a while to make new friends if she moves, and there will have to be someone there who is a good fit. If we do move in the future, if will be to a new area, with a new school etc so she will have to start again. Its a difficult decision. Maybe she'd thrive in a slightly bigger school, closer to home, but maybe I should allow her to build on the relationships she's forged this past year, although at some cost to me and her sibling in terms of all the driving.

For me, choosing a school based on where 1 friend is seems crazy. What if the friend leaves? A bigger, more local school, will surely give more scope for new friendships to develop.

However, what will happen when DC2 starts nursery?

I agree with Teen, especially as it could mean nearly 2 hours in the car for her sibling, and major impact on what else you can do with your youngest on your days off.

It is perfectly possible that a new child will join in Sept and swipes her current best friend. Some best friends do go straight through from age 3 to 7+ but I would say it's the exception.

Thanks again for your comments. We've finally decided on option 2. There were many factors at play (friendship being only one of them), but this now feels like the right thing to do. It will be nice to be able to walk her to school, and I think she'll settle there in time.

The one closer to home. 3 years is a long time, lots of driving, lots of time spent in a car. What if her one friend moves or they fall out? If there are only 9 other kids in the class there's not much choice.

I would always go for the school nearest home unless there are really compelling reasons to make a different choice. One good friend and a bit more outdoor time are not good enough reasons for me. Take her outdoors at the weekend or after school.

Walking to school is so lovely.

You see the changing seasons, no stress of queues or parking. Your child gets used to walking in the rain, snow, whatever. For us it was a lovely start and end to the school day, and I really miss it.

Glad you are happy with your decision, sounds like there are lots of positives.
Enjoy your dd starting out on a new adventure!

I have a very anxious, difficult to settle child and I understand your concerns. I do agree with other comments that you need to select the best school/environment for her long term. She WILL make friends and she WILL settle, kids are better at this than most adults, some just need more time than others but a slightly larger setting will provide more options to find the right match in terms of friendships. It seems like you have made your decision and are happy with it which is great. Best of luck to you!