Cancelling Home Visit what will they think of me?

[RedToBlueJumper]

I am cancelling the teacher and TA visiting our home.

There's a huge back story but basically I have PTSD and I can just about handle having people who know my situation/reasons being in my home but people who don't or I might have to explain to makes me panic and I get worried I'll make a fool of myself.

DD has met her teacher already as they've visited Nursery, DD has had a visit to school to see her teacher and the classroom and will be having two or three other visits (not exactly sure yet, DD has SN so need extra visits) both with Nursery and with me.

Will it be ok? What will the teacher think of me?

I wouldn't worry at all OP. You've clearly made efforts to facilitate a smooth transition for your DD. I don't think the teachers are waiting to judge and criticize parents who are clearly doing the best for their child.

people cancel the visits for all sorts of reasons so the school will be very aware of such things happening. Much more important to the school will be that you have done the decent thing and told them rather than leave them spending time trying to make the visit.

Rather than cancel, could you ask to gave the 1:1 in school rather than your home?

They probably already have an idea about your DD, but might want to get to know the finer pints about you as a family.

I've been on some very interesting home visits. Most if them are quite boring though, and could have quite easily have been school. In fact if children are already in our nursery we don't bother with a home visit, we just meet with the family in school.

I do think it might be worth mentioning your PTSD though if you feel comfortable doing so. Even if not at the moment, in the future. You wouldn't believe what eventually comes to light, and we suddenly realise why little Johnny just couldn't do X,Y or Z. The school just want the best for your child, and will be keen to support however they can, but can only do that if you explain your needs.

They wont be cross but it would be helpful for them to know about your home situation as it will probably have some impact on your daughter. If they know a little more about you they can help support you and your daughter with any problems that may arise due to the PTSD, by not knowing the cannot properly support your daughters emotional and social wellbeing.

Can you ask the nursery to explain a little
More without going into detail. Or is there someone who could do the visit on your behalf or maybe at grannies house or something instead. You need to be as open and honest as you can be so they can support you both

Please don't worry. It's your home, you don't have to justify to anyone who you let in and who you don't.

I think the idea of asking to have the one to one at school is a good one.

Why do they have to visit you at home? Never had such visits when mine was small.

My boys are 20 and 18, we had visits from school nursery.
The pre school I worked at alsod id home visits.

The school knowing about your PTSD can actually be extremely helpful. You don’t need to go into detail with them unless you want to, and you could do it in writing. Just explain to them why you don’t feel you are up to a home visit in the exact same way as you did on here.

It’s your home and nobody can force a visit on you. It is better to be frank and open from day one, with good communication channels. Schools can actually be extremely supportive of family life, particularly when things aren’t the norm.

It might be worth mentioning why you won’t do home visits to the school. I’m sure people cancel home visits for all sorts of reasons.

And FWIW, the school my DC started Reception in didn’t do any home visits, so it’s not something that’s universally considered to be essential before a child starts Reception.

I have called school and cancelled they didn't ask for a reason.

I will meet the teacher and TA at most of the extra visits to school for DD, they're literally to get her used to new people and the size and feel of the classroom. She's doing a few drop and run sessions towards the end of July too so me/Nursery will drop her with the teacher and leave her - this is unusual for the school as they usually have 2 sessions; one a craft visit with parents to school then one with Nursery where they visit and that's it. Although teachers visit the kids at all the local none school Nurseries.

So I reckon they should know her well, I'm just worried about what they'll think of me.

Nursery don't know about the PTSD, they've never needed to.

RedElephants, mine a lot older than yours so I presume it was just not done back then. It does seem an odd practice tbh. I was quite happy to entertain visitors but wouldn't have wanted people coming round to look over me and my home. However if that is the way it is done, mine is not to reason why.

"I'm just worried about what they'll think of me."

I reckon they will give it way less headspace than you can possibly imagine. They'll be focussed on trying to get to know 30 children's names, specific needs, likes, dislikes, nursery handover notes ... Parents are of far less consequence than the children at school, and rightly so. They will focus on your DD.

In every class there are parents who withdraw their children from school trips or residentials, complain about who their child is sat next to, take their children on term time holidays, hassle the teachers about reading levels or little Johnny looking at their child the wrong way. Early years teachers have a crazy amount of learning objectives and paperwork X 30 on top and need to make multiple different stations of continuous provision available while corralling 4 year olds and trying to teach them a load of new skills. This will be barely be a blip on the radar, honestly.