Would a move to an independent school help?

[Empath33]

I would be interested in opinions on state versus independent for a struggling child. My Y4 daughter, who is not very academic, but is in a generally high achieving peer group, is losing confidence and her behaviour at home is deteriorating. We are thinking about moving her to a small, nurturing, independent Co Ed school from Y5 onwards. I know independent isn’t always better, but I do have confidence in this school and it’s ethos and think small class sizes would help a very quiet child. But I’m also worried about the upheaval of moving and having to reestablish friendships, plus the potential to still feel like the ‘unacademic’ one, which may be more pronounced in an independent school. Any experience of this would be good to hear. Many thanks.

We moved DS1 in Y5 for different reasons, best thing we did. He wasn't thriving at his primary school. He had struggled with literacy all the way through, he was later assessed as dyslexic but his original school wouldn't even consider it as he was so verbally able, and I got fobbed off with the "he's an August born boy, he'll catch up" thing for years. When he came home from school on the first day of Y5 and said the teacher "had put all us thick kids on one table" I knew it was time for action. I found a school that was part of the "human scale education" movement with small classes and a less rigid ethos and we had our happy boy back again (they were allowed to climb trees in the playground 😁). I know your situation is very different but I am a great believer in educational choice so if you can make things better for your DD why wouldn't you. The small classes alone at that stage are worth it.

Yes I would do it and think it will help. Does the school go right through to 18?

Avoiding SATs would be a bonus.

Sometimes the 'not very academic' is a self fulfilling classification and actually what is required is some more one-on-one/targeted teaching to smooth out any bumps and challenges. If the independent school is nurturing and willing to put in the support (and guide you in providing correct support at home) then absolutely.
A small school is not always the best thing, since there is such a smaller choice of peer group, so important to do your research and be open with the school about your situation, your aim for your child's education.

We moved my son for similar reasons at the start of year 3, it was the best thing we did. He has had a fantastic year, he has made progress academically (particularly in maths) but he has really benefited from all the extras - it turns out he really loves languages, plus the forest school and the extra sport etc. Making friends wasn’t an issue for him and being in a smaller class really means that there’s nowhere to hide, and they get a lot more teacher time.

We have sent our reception age DD to a small
Nurturing school, summer born and very shy. She has struggled and the school have given her and us lots of support, which wouldn't have happened in a state school. however, I think the answer to your question really depends on the independent school you have in mind. Lots of independent schools (including ours) have lots of very capable children, so is there a risk she will feel even more pressure/ odd one out ? What about private tutoring as a first option. This could give her the extra support and confidence she needs. Have you thought about an Occupational Therapy assessment ?

It sounds to me like an individual teacher could make an enormous difference. The right teacher at either school could be transformative.

I think you need to try to understand the academic situation a bit better, because that is something of a concern. Don't assume the private school will be higher achieving, but you need to bottom this out. Could you take some of your daughter's work to them to look at, for example?

Really interesting responses, thank you. I have spoken to the teacher, who incidentally is very young and newly qualified, and she has put some extra support in place and is paying more attention generally to how my daughter is coping during lessons. We are also doing some targeted intervention at home each evening, which previously DD has resisted, but now seems more willing to engage in. We do have a tutor once a week, but there has been a break of several months due to tutors circumstances, hopefully now we’ve resumed, that will also help. I was concerned when the teacher said that DD will struggle in Y5 as the maths curriculum is so hard, and DD has already mentioned how she’s worried about Y6 and SATS. So we are going to continue to monitor and I think I will also arrange to have a meeting with the head at the independent school. Many thanks again for your input.

Lots of independent schools don’t do Sats. Ours didn’t.

However they will really ramp up the work for 11 plus or 13 CE if that’s what parents want from the school. If everyone just goes to a bog standard comp, why does the school exist? Parental aspirations will dictate homework and ethos and it may well end up being very competitive and academic.

What do you want in 2 years time? Where will your DD go? In my area, through schools don’t take all their junior children as they seek to maintain their league table position. Boasting about lower achievers isn’t on the agenda so make sure your DD will transfer and not be weeded out. They can be quite ruthless about this.

My DC are at a prep school with a similar ethos to you describe. At least in the case of our school shy kids often come in very nervous looking (I think some who join later do so as a result of having problems at a previous school) and suddenly you'll see them performing in assembly a few months later with a new confidence. It's really lovely to see.

My DC's school has a range of abilities, they do seem to be above average in general but it's non selective and there are kids in each year who struggle in various areas. The good thing about independent is that there's more time for other things - drama, music, outside education etc so perhaps more opportunities to shine in other areas.