School allocations - wait list place offered but now we aren't sure, help!

[christmasgeek]

I’m looking for some opinions please as we are currently at a loss!

Apologies for the super long post, but I’m also trying to get this all straight in my head along with not missing anything out!

We are currently trying to decide between 2 schools for our son. We have just been offered our first choice school (we were on the wait list) so now need to make a decision. Mentally, we had accepted our offered school, which was our second choice.

We have visited both, done the pro con lists etc. Our head says one school but heart says the other.

One school means a 15 minute drive each way, twice a day. Relatively small school, village location, approx 90 pupils. All our sons current friends will be going to this school. We don’t live where this school is. Change of head teacher coming in September. This was our first choice school. He is currently at the pre school here 2 days a week. Lovely community feel, but I do worry about it possibly being a tad clicky. Average results in terms of maths, reading etc. We love the much smaller class sizes, and feel he may receive more support here. He is very bright, but can be very shy and quiet, and has also had speech & language therapy. He still has some issues and is still under a SAL therapist. They don’t appear as good at parent communication compared to the other school.

The other means a 10 minute walk each way, and is still fairly small compared to others in our area , around 140 pupils total, and in town. Our child won’t know anyone there. We live in the town where this school is. This was our second choice school, but the one we were offered. I worry about this school appearing very clicky. Ofstead rated outstanding. Much better results in maths, reading etc (well above average) . Year sizes are around 20, but increase as they join classes together (years 1,2 & 3 are split between 2 classes, which pupils move around in depending on their individual levels in different areas) . I’ve heard about them putting a lot of pressure on the children for sats, but that was from someone who was there a few years ago, I’m not sure now. Reception class also has Pre school within it, but only on mornings. They appear very good at parent communication & involvement, and lots of inclusive events. School is Roman Catholic. We are not!

Both are great schools. Our head is saying to go with the school that is walking distance In tow. It’s still a relatively small school, and at this age, our son will make new friends, and can still stay in touch with the friends he has already made. But our heart is saying the other school. Both offer similar after school activities. And both had a lovely feel. When we visited, I nit picked about the town school as I was certain I wanted him to go to the village school.

Our son is definitely a quieter type of little boy, who prefers playing with girls rather than boys at Pre school, however there is most definitely an imbalance between girls & boys at Pre school at the moment (approx 4 boys on the days he goes vs 10 girls).

I should add that we have another son who is 18 months old. The town school which we can walk to is more appealing with him in tow, rather than having to drive daily (along with the added cost of driving). Siblings are accepted first at the local school, whereas the village take catchment first before siblings.

Town school is a great feeder to the local grammar school.

We don’t need holiday / wrap around care as I’m a SAHM.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m hoping to gain from this post. It’s helped me to put it down like this, but I suppose I’d quite like an outsiders opinion from people who don’t actually know either school.

My gut isn’t telling me either way.

If you have got to the end of this, thanks so much for reading!

I’d go for walkable school, it’s much easier to make friends on the school run when you are on foot. It’ll also be easier to begin independence when your child gets older and they can do the journey alone.

As someone with an older primary school child dc, I'd definitely favour the local town school. So much easier to maintain friendships outside of school when you live in the local community. It's much harder work when their friends don't live nearby. I wouldn't worry about the fact he doesn't go to the pre-school, lots of new people to make friends with.

I know people that have had problems because it is a small school just a bad mix of personalities in a class lack of potential friends, lack of team sports etc.

Definitely the one you can walk to. As others have said, better for friends and for feeling part of the community. And the extra time you get in the morning. It’s easier to make up time if you’re walking than it is when you’re in the car! We chose a not-as-good school very close to our house over an outstanding one further out. Absolutely no regrets.

I see I’m in a small minority but I’d go for the village school. Smaller school better for quiet shy child.

And it can be hard for non RC children at RC school. Even if religion isn’t a big deal for you personally, is often is a HUGE deal to staff and other parents. Your child can end up marginalised or excluded from social and school events.

Even without new houses, with 86 pupils there will be huge pressure to drop down to 3 classes, especially if they lose more pupils than they gain this year.

I work in a one form entry school. We've been told that if we don't have at least 22+ per year group, the class isn't financially viable so classes will have to mix. Unfortunately I think the days of small class sizes are coming to a swift end thanks Tories

Town school within walking distance.

Small schools don’t have adequate resources, and that is only likely to get worse IMO.

Wow - overwhelmed with the number of responses, thank you to everyone for taking time to offer advice & guidance.

It’s such a big decision, that we have no experience in what so ever - all we want, like any parent, is for our son to be happy at school.

We took a walk today to the town school, and it was a lovely walk from our home, and our son got very excited when we neared the school, so I think our decision is made. Town school it is!

I’ve watched my dc at a large 6 form/yr junior school (taking kids from 2 feeder schools plus assorted others) with my dn who are at a tiny village school, currently with about 50 kids, was about 90 when dn1 first joined.

I would definitely go for the bigger school having watched the issues dn have had, particularly when they ended up in a small cohort (sometimes as few as 6 in the year), eg when years 3-6 are taught in a single class, when the HT is only around 3 mornings a week as she is shared with another school in another village, when being bullied by 2 girls in your. Lass is a big deal because they are the only other two girls in your age group and you know you’re stuck with them in your life for years to come, when a shy well behaved kid is overlooked because of loud noisy trouble makers and despite asking for dyslexia testing its refused as it’s too expensive - only to be diagnosed as severely dyslexic on getting to senior school and so on.

It’s not to say that the bigger school is uniformly great - they can be rubbish at communicating, they can take longer to figure out kids that don’t come from feeder schools, and so on, but overall there are just so many more advantages that I would choose it over a small school every time.

They will thrive at the bigger school, they can still keep up with their old friends and might end up at secondary school together too,

Would they thrive at the other school - yes, albeit in a different way perhaps. But you will certainly benefit from having the option to walk or drive for the school run and you’ll make some local friends (my dc went to a school that was one over from my local catchment infant and junior schools and while I made some good friends, I don’t have any local friends which is sad) and you will thrive too, which in turn will pay dividends forwards for your dc too!

@wibbletooth thank you for that advice, it’s interesting to hear from people who have witnessed first hand negatives within a smaller school . The village school head teacher is also head of another village school approx 6 miles away, so isn’t there full time HT there (she’s also leaving at the end of this term too, so who knows where things will go!)

Good decision OP. Small schools are not good for shy children.

Redpostbox why not?
Also I don't think it's necessarily true that small schools don't have adequate resources. Some have what they need just on a smaller scale.
I have had to make a choice whether to go for a smaller school or a school with a reception intake of 60 and I have gone for the former as the latter seems too big for my child. Unfortunately we didn't get in the school we wanted with intake 30.

Everyone has made really good points, and I would add that a bigger school will probably have more ability to resource SEN/SALT needs too. I was a founder of a Free School which aimed to be a 'village school in a town' and have an intake of only 24 per year - but funding means that class sizes are having to be increased, and they are struggling with supporting SEN children adequately - I think that squeeze will only get worse.

In addition, there are fewer children to choose to be friends with and if you have a year with a large imbalance in the boy/girl ratio then that can be hard - a friend of mine's daughter ended up in a village school where there were 14 boys and only 6 girls.....tough if you don't get on with the other 5. It can also limit sporting/team opportunities when there are small class sizes.

I have four children and I walk/ed to school with them every day - like you it's only about 10 mins from home, but it was so much more relaxing and meant that we got time together, jumping in puddles when it was wet, eating ice creams when the ice cream van parked outside school on sunny days, and laughed at everyone in their metal boxes stressing about parking and traffic jams and rat runs on their way to schools further away.....next year, 3 of mine will be at secondary school and I'll only be walking my youngest which makes me sad, but v happy too.

With regards to the RC thing, my experience of an RC school is that there is a very strong sense of community, and even if you didn't go to church or weren't religious, there was a huge amount of 'good' being done in various ways - whether that was for the school itself, or for the PA, or for parents struggling with illness or 'Life events' - people rallied round very generously and helped with cooking/walking to school/pet sitting etc when people needed help. So in your situation, I'd pick the town, RC school which is a feeder for the grammar in a heartbeat. My son didn't go to school with ANY of his nursery friends and was fine after about day 2.

Definitely the school you can walk to unless there is a big reason not to. Over the 7 years you will get fed up of the drive and sometimes you have to go back to school a number of times a day especially if you have more than one child-different after school clubs etc. Also great for the year 5/6 children to get some independence by walking themselves with their friends later on. I was also going to make the same point as the previous posterp. If your child has any issues requiring support eg speech and language the bigger school will be much more likely to have the funding/ resources to provide group intervention etc. In a time when sadly all schools budgets are non existent you are much better with a larger school.

It’ll also be easier to begin independence when your child gets older and they can do the journey alone.

Absolutely. You may not be able to imagine your currently 3 / 4 year old ever going anywhere without Mummy or Daddy in tow, but they will need to develop the ability to do this and a short walk to and from school on their own or with friends, at least by year 6, is a good start.

14 boys and only 6 girls.....tough if you don't get on with the other 5.

To me, a gender imbalance would merely be an interesting fact, not a reason to avoid a school. It's tough not to get on with a whole quartet of the people you have to spend several hours a day with, yes - but personally, it would never occur to me that any of our DC would attempt to restrict their friendsip group to those of the same sex as them. Perhaps they've just been lucky that when in mixed sex schools, they haven't been completely surrounded by children brought up differently in that respect.

I’d never choose a school that didn’t have a sibling rule, unless you are totally ok with having to be in 2 places at the same time for years to come.

Agree about the advantages of walking to school. My Y6 and Y2 now walk together in the morning and love it. And when we all walk together home, we chat together and laugh in a way we never do in the car. Really important as I find both of them open up about things that have either gone well or not so well that day. It inspires them to confide somehow. Valuable family time.

The stress of driving through the school run and trying to park is enough to say walk every time!!

Go to the local one, playdates will be difficult to arrange at the one further away and the walk to/from school can be lovely as you will probably will end up meeting classmates on the way.