Summer born starting school- what to do?

[Neet90]

I've never posted anything before so here goes.

My daughter who will turn 4 in July is due to start school this September. We requested admission out of normal age group so she could start reception a year later aged 5 but our local authority has refused, we are considering moving to a neighbouring council which has agreed our request or staying put and sending her part time this year.

Our daughter has previously been involved with speech and language therapy and a paediatrician due to delays in her development but both have discharged her, she is still open to the continence nurse, she is unable to dress or undress herself, she doesn't like being left, she struggles socially to make friends and will often play alone instead, she has no interest in reading, writing or drawing.

I am torn as to what we should do for the best, I worry about how our daughter will cope in school but I also worry about moving house.

We love our home, it's big, we have a comfortable mortgage, we are walking distance from family and its in the area we have lived our whole lives but we do have issues with our neighbour who is somewhat of a nightmare so we have considered moving because of this also.

I just wondered what people's own experiences are as we are going round in circles and confusing ourselves so much.

Thanks

You could start her in Reception later in the school year, maybe after the Christmas or Easter break? The extra few months may see her come on a bit.

My ds is a July baby, he will be 6 this year. He has a complex speech disorder, and although was fairly independent I was worried about the long days (he only attended pre-school 3 hrs a day Tue-Fri) coupled with the speech.
I met with his Head about this time two years ago and we agreed he would start in September but would only do 4 days. It worked well for ds and after Christmas break he was ready for full time.

I wish you well with whatever you decide.

The school will soon be inviting you for informal visits, when they do I would call them in advance and ask to make an appointment with the SEN teacher. Try to make it on a different preferably later day to your settling in visit, suggest the SEN staff can observe her during her visit and then use that observation when you talk to them about your daughters needs. If they seem to be on the ball about special needs then opening a dialogue with them is the best way to go. If they seem resistant or unhelpful then that is perhaps the time to start thinking of other options. But bear in mind that most schools are used to having children whose development is delayed, quite often they turn up on day one with no previous notification so you are ahead of the game!

If she's not interested in writing or drawing ATM then don't worry, just have writing materials available to her if she wants to try. You can encourage hand eye coordination and motor skills in lots of ways to develop her skills for when she is ready. When the weather is a bit better buy some cheap diy paint brushes, give her a bucket of water and "paint" on the wall. Get some coloured chalks and scribble on the pavement. Pastry and dough play is fun, as is a bowl of warm water, bubbles and some plastic bits or dolls clothes for washing . Sit on the floor and roll a ball towards her and encourage her to roll it back, or throw it if she can. encourage hopping, jumping with two feet, scooting, balance biking, climbing.

With dressing and undressing concentrate on the things she is likely to be taking on and off in school, eg shoes and a coat, but don't worry too much, a lot of early schoolers struggle with dressing. summer is coming, and summer clothes are usually a lot easier to get on and off so she has some time to practice and gain confidence before school uniform time? Then when buying uniform choose the things that are easier to get in and out of eg a pinafore dress with a big zip at the front,not buttons, fully elasticated trousers, a polo shirt rather than a button shirt. velcro shoes not buckle.

You've pretty much described my son. He's a July baby, but also 5 weeks prem.
He started school in 2016, full time in reception. He has just thrived. He's changed so much and I'm glad I sent him when I did. I can't believe I was worried about him tbh!

My eldest June born was exactly like your little one. He couldn't even talk properly when he first started nursery, couldn't dress himself and he was only out of nappies a few months before he started nursery!

When he started reception he was behind all his peers and you could really tell but over time he came on leaps and bounds. He is now nearly 8,in year 3 and you wouldn't be able to tell at all how behind he use to be. Please try not to worry, I had the same thoughts as you but I'm glad I didn't hold back him starting reception.

Thanks for that. May I ask how your little one is managing since going into year 1 as I understand the curriculum changes?

Thank you viques those are good ideas

Annoyedbyalfiebear oh I'm so glad he has thrived. It's so easy to worry and picture the worst. I imagine her lonely and confused but she may manage to make some friends and manage to concentrate and participate better than I expect and I'm sure there are staff to help her dress for pe.

Treesarered. Thank you, I'm glad it's worked out well for your child. I just worry about doing what's best and I'm sure I can end up regretting it all either way.

Does she go to preschool OP? The children that struggled in my classes were the children that hadn’t been to preschool regardless of the month they were born.

I’m sure your DD would be fine in reception, you haven’t given any details which would be red flags for me to say you need to hold her back and uproot your family. Most of my reception kids can’t dress themselves at the start of the year, by the end they sure can! The kids find it hilarious when they put their shirt on inside out and teachers are there to help out, but this is something you can start working on with her now.

Reception is about so much more than reading, writing and drawing. Every school is different but in most schools, the reception children are “buddied” up with an older child, so I can assure you she will never be lonely.

Thanks willowkoko. She goes to preschool 2 days a week and has come on leaps and bounds since she starred but is still below what is expected of her age on the eyfs criteria. We had debated moving anyway due to the neighbour but wondered if it was worth changing area entirely due to the CSA reception start

Thing is with moving
Not all schools are LA they are VA/VC/Academy etc. Plus then also next school also have to agree. Secondary or Junior etc.
So you would have to make sure which one you are lilely to get into.
Also you only have till begining of jan to move and get approval from that LA/academy etc and HT.
Are you on Flexible admissions for summerborns facebook?
Could you appeal?

Helix1244
We definitely have a deadline to move house to the new local authority which may not happen at all. The neighbouring council has agreed for all schools within it's authority but I'm aware academies do not have to follow suit and by the time she's ready for senior school more of the schools may be academies by then, we can hope the changes would have been made to the school admissions code by then but I am doubtful.
I am a member of that Facebook page, it's so useful.
My stage 2 complaint is with the council but I've heard from someone who has complained on similar grounds to me that they did not change their minds. The lgo can apparently take 26 weeks to investigate which is too long and I believe in the past my LA has not followed their recommendations.
Maybe we are just better staying in our local area that we know and sending her part time this September and hope for the best.

DD2 could have been this (apart from the summer birthday) - started school with very little intelligible speech, continence issues, very poor motor skills and sequencing abilities meaning she wasn't really dressing at all independently either. After I swapped our school choice over, having realised school number 1 was not a good idea (I've privately had this confirmed by various support services as a smart choice) before we started - it was honestly fine. Socially she floundered and flitted around the edges a bit for Reception and start of Y1 - but not negatively so - just took her time to work out which group were her friends.

Now has a confirmed dyspraxia diagnosis, fully intelligible speech, is working at or above age related expectations.

I won't lie - year 1 has sucked - but that's the class teacher being a nightmare - but reception she loved. She'd have coped fine with year 1 if she'd had a more engaged teacher to be fair - academically she's still doing OK.

Pantsymcpantsface. I'm glad your daughter has done okay. We got our 3rd choice School, I hear okay things about it but it's hard to know where is most supportive and nurturing. May I ask what it is the year 1 teacher doesn't do well just so I can ask relevant questions to the school as I personally worry about year 1 more than year r? Has your daughter been happy to to each day, I worry as my daughter has only just stopped crying about going to preschool?

Year 1 teacher basically has a bit of a shitty attitude to SEN generally - doesn't like having to implement anything that's on kids' provision plans so will lie and say they suddenly "don't need" any of it to try to get it all taken away. Doesn't like any kids who might be harder work than the other kids, ones that get upset easily, ones that need a bit more support getting organized or with social skills or whatever - I've caught things out a hell of a lot all year to the point the Head and SENCo are actively monitoring the situation.

We got spoilt last year with a teacher who really really "got" DD2 - could see her ability and potential through the speech problems and coordination and the like and just engaged with her sense of humour and genuinely had a fondness for her - and this year it's a teacher who doesn't listen when you try to pass on simple information (will hide away to avoid parents), doesn't reply to requests for information, complains about having to work with other professionals and everything else. The curriculum stuff I worried myself sick about (having seen the y1 curriculum in action the previous year) - but actually that part was generally fine and she was there and ready to grasp it at the point she started y1. We struggle with her finishing work and feeling upset about her writing ability lots at the moment - not being very sympathetically dealt with - I think she's just getting told off a lot and it's really a situation pissing me off now because it's destroying her self confidence - but that's dyspraxia for you! (I know who are the staff for next year at least and they're really really good so now it's a bit of an endurance battle)

Trouble with my daughter is she always looks so happy and cheerful - and hides when she's unhappy and it all comes out at home later.

Pantsymcpantsface. Bless her bottling everything up, I hope year 2 goes well and the teacher is a lot kinder.

@Neet90 my experience of yr1 has been different to pp in that he has a great teacher and ta and he gets a lot of support. Academically however he is struggling and is very behind. He was referred to a peadiatrician earlier this year as he is also presenting younger emotionally and socially. He enjoys school though and we have no trouble getting him to go so for now I am making the best of it and helping him every way I can.

Have the preschool expressed any concerns?

Whitehartlane. Oh I'm so glad he's enjoying it even though he is struggling. Preschool haven't expressed any concerns though they are aware of our worries and have been completely supportive of our wish for her to start at CSA, sadly the council don't share the same view. I just heard that the open evening for those starting this September is just 3 weeks away and i can't wrap my head around it all. I keep overthinking it and the whole moving idea is out of our hands to an extent as we all know how often things can fall through.