AIBU Private school v state school

[etcher70]

My son aged 7 years attends a small rural primary school. In the last two years all of the local schools have forged new alliances and are now part of confederations / academies. For some reason my son's school is now somehow linked to the local private school in addition to two other state primaries.
And this is what grates my cheese....the private school 'hosts' sporting events and invites the affiliated state schools. The private school then wins all of the prizes and posts their successes on Facebook. Tomorrow my son is 'invited' to a 'fun swimming gala' at the public school's private pool - at which predictably they will win all the prizes (again). Of course they will - they have their own pool!
I feel as though the plebs are being invited over to make the private school kids shine and it makes me feel really cross.
I feel like saying my son can't go but I don't want to spoil his fun. AIBU?

It's just the same when kids get to secondary as there's usually intercity/county tournaments/leagues.

Let him enjoy the experience and try his best.

I do remember turning up to a very fancy private that looked like Hogwarts in our mix-matched trackies for a cross country race across their land. I can't remember what year I was in, or what else happened that year but I can remember the building very well.

If all it's going to cost you is then having a blast let them have it.

I think they're probably doing it to prove their "charitable status" in helping the wider world ... hohoho ...

Or maybe they just genuinely want to make their facilities and experiences available to more children?

My children’s school has some great ties with local state schools. They play matches against each other all the time (particularly for girls football where the private schools seem a bit behind the times and have no teams). They visit our school, we go to theirs.

There is no “them and us” mentality. They are just having fun.

I know not all schools are the same but I think you might be reading too much into it. Take it at face value. Your kids get to hang out at a pool for a few hours, work as a team, take pride in their school and have fun.

I thought they did it to show off their facilities and get state school kids to badger their parents in letting them go there.

They do it to share their facilities with the wider community.

That said it’s bad form for them to set it up so they win everything! Many schools run these competitions without entering their own team to avoid this.

That approach also raises other questions though so it is a bit of a minefield.

My DS goes to a rural prep school which hosts sporting events (mainly athletics my eldest is 7 and still can't swim despite the school pool!) with local schools which are all state schools. The kids from the state school won most of the events last time and the time before. It would seem weird to only compete against the same "type" of school.

Why do you think it's set up so they win everything?

Basically schools compete against schools that put forward teams. If your school plays LAX you won’t find a huge number of state schools play this. However many parents have DC doing swimming lessons and swimming clubs are available in local authority pools.

I doubt very much if the private school is doing anything other than meeting their charitable obligations. However it does seem to show what the difference is between state and private. If you want this type of provision, you have to pay for it. Many schools post their successes on Facebook so perhaps your school could find something to crow about?

The private schools do it for financial reasons - to maintain their status as a charity (!!!) they have to do things like this.

If the private school just had their own kids at the gala, they would still be winning things and posting on Facebook, surely? They have to open their facilities up to other schools in order to fulfil their public benefit requirement. If their kids are better swimmers due to their regular access to the pool or whatever, does that detract from your son's enjoyment of going swimming there? I think you're over-thinking this. Why do you care what they say on their Facebook page?

I think you are not unreasonable to resent the fact that children have access to very different facilities but, given that is the case, what do you think should happen? Would you prefer that the private school kept the facilities to themselves, or allowed state schools to use them but only if they didn't mix with the private pupils? Or is it that you think that the school shouldn't congratulate their own pupils who do well?

It’s purely to maintain their charitable status. I don’t doubt the schools have nice teachers and nice children for one minute. However they are businesses they need the tax breaks that come with private schools having charitable status.

Private schools tend to do more sport, they have specialist coaches earlier on, they have mire fixtures, and they have parents who can afford both the time and the effort to use out-of-school clubs as well.

So yes, even this early on, the extra focus on sport translates into better performance.

If you look at national schools competitions, private schools dominate. And a disproportionate number of olympians went to private schools.

So when peo,e say an advantage of private schools is the sport, this is one aspect of what it means in practice.

You are reading too much into this.

Take advantage of the opportunity you wouldn't otherwise have and let your child have fun

My Y4 son went to a ‘rugby festival’ at a local private school recently. It wasn’t a tournament as such so no overall winner and medals for all but considering the boys from the host school all had proper rugby kit and gum shields in the school colours I suspect they had more experience when my son hadn’t played rugby since Y3 and half their team was wearing football kit rather than rugby.

My son really enjoyed himself, admired the enormous grounds and the tea provided afterwards. He didn’t seem to feel the slight discomfort with it all that I did.

As above, I believe the schools do it as evidence of their ‘charitable wrk’ (private schools often operate as charities, goodness knows how).

Come the revolution ...

I can see it'd stick in one's craw a bit with swimming and other sports the private school pupils have better access to

Where you see the field levelled is those sports that don't require this eg football

My DS played at football tournaments hosted by a top local private school and most of the state schools wiped the floor with the private school teams. The "master of football" sought me out and offered my DS a football scholarship at their secondary (which we didn't consider) - I think they often use these events for multiple purposes.....

They have their own facilities and more time to train, of course they win.