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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

How did you cope when your last child started school?

28 replies

OrmIrian · 17/07/2007 16:47

Because I'm a wreck . I've always worked but when DS#2 was born I started to work 2 days a week from home. Not always easy but DS and I worked it out and it's been lovely. Nearest I've been to being a SAHM. And now he's starting school. Just found out that term ends on Friday not Tuesday as I thought so this Friday will be my last day working at home with DS - just the two of us on our own, pottering around together. And I can't stop crying.

I can see myself switching on CBeebies next term just to feel closer to him - and I hate bloody CBeebies. Does anyone else feel like this? I'm being totally pathetic I know.

OP posts:

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MummyPenguin · 17/07/2007 16:48

I was farkin delighted

saltireslytherin · 17/07/2007 16:53

Oh me too. I went to the loo, and just sat there in peace. Then I had a cuppa in peace. then I got to watch Fern and Phil in peace. it was great!
Then I got an under 5 mindee and my peace was shattered

Original poster

OrmIrian · 17/07/2007 16:56

No sadness at all? Really?

I must be very odd then

OP posts:

Ladymuck · 17/07/2007 17:44

I have this to come - and I have to say I understand why there are so many families where the baby seems to hvae co-incided with the previous "baby" starting school. Whilst i have worked whilst they have been small I have taken the last year out. The whole idea of both of mine at school seems so strnage.

cornsilk · 17/07/2007 17:45

It's bloody great. Are you a member of a gym? If not then join one and go when they are at school.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 17/07/2007 17:50

I'm not a gym member anymore cornsilk. I run regularly these days though. I work during the day so I can't really do anything other than work to take my mind off it . And it rarely works...

OP posts:

FioFioJane · 17/07/2007 17:52

I was devastated I enroled for uni to keep myself occupied (I was already working but weekends) then i found out i was pregnant 3 months into the degree. luckily I managed to finish the first year though and have deffered

what you feel is normal imo

MrsScavo · 17/07/2007 17:59

I'm so looking forward to it! Only 2 more years! I will finally be able to live in an orderly house, there will no longer be piles of ironing, I will go to the gym. I'm so excited thinking about it! - But check back in 2 years time and I'll probably be posting "How did you cope when your last chld started school?"

jo25 · 17/07/2007 18:01

I am with you ormirian. Its v.v. my ds starts school in sept, and i currently work 25hpw. That is changing so I can get to spend as much time as possible with ds when he is at school. It drives me mad when parents are happy thier children are going to school, (i might offend with that but am entitled to my opinion). I am an emontional wreck at the prospect. I have been a SAHM for best part of 3 years ( before returning to work 12 months ago) and i would def go back and do it all again, i just thought it was the best thing in the whole world. Having said all this my ds is champing at the bit to start school and doesn't get why "mummy wants to keep him at home and cuddle him all day" because according to ds i can do that when he gets home!!! ooh the logic of children, if only i had it!!!

sarah573 · 17/07/2007 19:13

OOOhhhh i can't wait!! DC3 is in nursery 4 days a week now - so Ive had a taste of freedom - roll on September!! Yipeeeee!!!

Smithagain · 17/07/2007 19:20

I felt desperately sad at this time last year, when I suddenly realised the "pre-school" years were nearly over.

Honestly, by the time we had spent an 11 week summer holiday together, I was quite pleased she was going to school. She was sooooooooooo ready for it and watching her stride in there made me feel so proud.

Now, of course, I'm in pieces because she's nearly finished Reception!

RedLorryYellowLorry · 17/07/2007 19:26

I am surprising myself at how sad I feel. I have really enjoyed having time with ds while dd has been at school. I work 2.5 days per week so they time we have together, alone, has been lovely. He really is ready for full time school (does half days at Nursery at moment). I work in a pre-school so can get lots of cuddles from the 2 and 3 yo's but I'm still It makes me want another one

CowsGoMoo · 17/07/2007 19:28

Hi, I'm with you OrmIrian. I adore having my children around me and am probably the only parent who is not dreading the 6 weeks hols!

At the thought of my ds starting school in 2003 I was so upset that DH and I decided to have a sibling for him and my dd was born in 2004 when he was still in reception on half days. She will start school Sept 2008 and Im already dreading not having her at home, although DH and I have decided that we wont be having anymore babies when she goes to school, otherwise we could end up having a huge family !!! (he's been snipped anyway )

I am very fortunate that DH and I own our own company so Ive had a pretty good career break and although I look forward to returning to work part time I am so upset that my 1 to 1 time with dd will end and I wont be the only big influence in her life anymore

I also agree with jo25 re parents looking forward to their children being at school I do think that is very sad

CGM x

portonovo · 17/07/2007 19:57

I didn't feel sad as such, just recognised it was the end of another stage for us both. In some ways, because he WAS the last, it was easier because the other 2 had been there, done that, and I knew how much they enjoyed school and how much we still shared together. I disagree that we aren't such a big influence anymore - yes, there are lots of external influences, but home is still the main one for a long, long time. I actually enjoy my children growing up, it's great seeing them flourish and
grow up into such lovely people, despite all the hormones floating about!

I love the holidays too - not quite every minute, with two teenagers and a pre-teen that would be a feat, but nearly every minute!

Ask me again in a few years time when my eldest goes off to university!

MegaLegilimens · 17/07/2007 20:04

Ds3 starts Rec in sept and DS4 goe sto preschool in Jan. It doesn't seem 5 mins since DS1 started big school and next term he'll be a junior!! I hate the last week of the holidays, I get soooo sad at them being another year older, I want to freeze time and keep them little for ever .

Hassled · 17/07/2007 20:06

I've felt very similar to you, OrmIrian - it felt awful, and I missed my youngest like mad. I was a full time WOHM with my oldest 3, and became a SAHM with DS3 (DC4) - I did some childminding but essentially it was just us, pottering around and having fun. He started fulltime in January and I used to just clock watch till pick up time. I have started to do proper paid work (book-keeping) from home during the day, go swimming a lot and little things like actually reading the broadsheet bit of the paper, not just the pull-outs! It does get easier but I really sympathise - it's not nice.

cat64 · 17/07/2007 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Troutpout · 17/07/2007 20:30

I felt like this when my son (my first child) started school Ormirian...but dd starts in september (she my last..no more babies) and i feel completely different.
i will be sad when she leaves playgroup (mainly because it is so wonderful and i will miss it)...but i'm not sad about her starting school.

WigWamBam · 17/07/2007 20:42

I was a wreck too, OrmIrian. Cried my eyes out in the playground after dd went in, felt lost for ages afterwards. I had an awful bout of depression, which came back during the first year every time she had to go back to school after a holiday.

She's just about to finish Year 1, and I still miss her - although it doesn't get me so badly now.

coddy · 17/07/2007 20:42

RAN AROUFN WHOOPING?
htats hwat i intedn to do afetr 9 long years at home

coddy · 17/07/2007 20:42

RAN AROUFN WHOOPING?
htats hwat i intedn to do afetr 9 long years at home

SparklePrincess · 17/07/2007 20:59

I felt the same as you too OrmIrian I missed dd so much I considered having another child. Work really took my mind off it though. I was too knackered to think about anything else while I was there.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 18/07/2007 09:36

cowsgomoo - "I adore having my children around me and am probably the only parent who is not dreading the 6 weeks hols" That's me too! Apart from the hassle of arranging childcare (but that's another looong story) I really enjoy the holidays. I like being with them and I enjoy the fact that I'm on leave with them and able to relax, or that DH is at home and I can just get myself to work without worrying about them, and even when they are going to a playscheme/CM/ grandparents I don't have to worry about PE kits, homework, lunchboxes, uniform etc. Heaven! Everyone relaxes.

I was a bit wobbly with DS#1 but OK and I still had DD at home, I was OK with DD because I'd been there before and I had DS#2 at home by then. But this time it feels so final . And DS is the only child I've ever spent time at home with which is making it very hard to let go.

Another aspect is my parents. They are 76 and have looked after my kids one day a week ever since I went back to work after DS#1 was born. DS#2 is dad's absolute favourite person in the whole world - I think it took him 3 grandchildren to really get into dealing with and enjoying being with small kids - and he was getting quite choked the other day realising that their Wednesdays with him are coming to an end.

All in all it feels very very painful atm. Couldn't sleep last night thinking about it all.

OP posts:

Original poster

OrmIrian · 18/07/2007 09:39

And more children is definitely not an option sparklyprincess. I'm 42, 3 is more than we originally planned TBH and DH has had the snip....so I think it's fairly unlikely. And we couldn't afford. And I think my boss would throw himself out of his office window if I announced another pregnancy

OP posts:

frogs · 18/07/2007 09:40

What Cod said. Actually, leg it to the nearest branch of Caffe Nero and spend a couple of uninterrupted hours with a pile of newspapers and a large cappucino. Mmmmm..... Roll on September.

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