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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Youngest ds didn’t get into any school choices

38 replies

PreemieBlessing · 29/04/2019 20:57

My youngest ds didn’t get into same school as eldest ds (catholic school and we are not catholic- More catholic children applied this year). Didn’t get into the other 2 schools on our choices either (as we are slightly outside catchment for them).
Have no strong for appeal and added ourselves to waiting list of all the schools we selected. Have been offered a school right near our house we had never considered because of the lower demographic in the other side of the school. Having said that results for kS2 and 11+ pass have been higher than our selected schools. Went to see the new school and actually not as bad as we thought, head teacher was very frank that there is a different demographic but they push able students. I’m getting conflicting messages with ppl about it being a rubbish school, awful families and kids going there, but then how does this stack up to the results? On school visit we felt that the children were well behaved in class and school seemed to be in good control. They are making improvements in their library year and have 2 heads now as executive head covers 2 schools in the academy.

I’m lost on what to do, we have accepted the space at the new school but unsure how I feel.

We can manage two siblings in different schools using breakfast and after school club but it’s not ideal.

Anyone been through same thing? Words from experience?

OP posts:

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PercyGherkin · 29/04/2019 22:03

Say yes to the place you have been offered (as you have): it sounds decent. Stay on the waiting list for the others you put down as preferences, and the others you then asked to go on the waiting list for, and see what happens. No point getting your knickers in a twist about whether to stick with what you have or accept a place you don't!

BertrandRussell · 29/04/2019 22:06

So basically it’s a good school with good results and good behaviour but you listened to snobby gossip.

Molly333 · 29/04/2019 22:23

We moved into an area with a well thought of school with fantastic results . However i found it utterly negative for both my children. Never once was parent evening good for them as they had not achieved enough as the school had children who were also privately tutored alongside the head said ' mums round here dont work so can help the school and the children learn' , nice pile of guilt my way as a working mum . Also half way through i became a single mum and my daughter was the only child in the whole year to come from a single parent family . However and thank god my children moved to secondary but utterly thrived as the school was an uttermix of all and they were never felt ' not good enough' in fact daughter now at uni . To conclude we wish we had stayed where we were, whete they also could have local friends

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 29/04/2019 22:24

we had never considered because of the lower demographic in the other side of the school.

What do you mean by this?

Original poster

PreemieBlessing · 29/04/2019 22:33

As the area on the other side of the school (not our side closest to school) has lower demographic of families, we hadn’t considered this school. We have been told kids are rough, some have never looked at books or do not know what a nursery rhyme is!

OP posts:

Bayleyf · 29/04/2019 22:36

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AllFourOfThem · 29/04/2019 22:36

We have been told kids are rough, some have never looked at books or do not know what a nursery rhyme is!

Yet the school’s exam results are better than the schools you want your child to go to. It doesn’t say much for the children there then!

Floralnomad · 29/04/2019 22:37

So exactly what bertrandrussell said then .

12pinkchairs · 29/04/2019 22:39

Your attitude is disgusting

KneelJustKneel · 29/04/2019 22:39

Many in our childrens school arent read to at home. They are still children, and the school is fab!

MonsterKidz · 29/04/2019 22:42

It sounds like you are doing all the right things OP.

It is hard to balance the reputation of a school and surrounding area with your own views and results. It is too easy sometimes to listen to other parents whose experience may not be the same as yours. I have gone through something similar recently with my youngest.

Ultimately, you have no choice but to accept the school you have been allocated and remain on other waitlists. If no places become available you can start and see what happens.

ThisIsBonIver · 29/04/2019 22:52

Ignore the gossip and send your DC to what sounds like a great school with a great head. I’d also seriously consider sending your older DC there too and making your life easier.

Helix1244 · 29/04/2019 22:54

I think it can be in a good area the school can rely more on the parents working with them at home. (Ie onky ever doing guided reading at school)

pearldeodorant · 29/04/2019 22:58

I don't think you're a horrible snob; you're doing what any parent would do by trying to find the best school for your DC.

I say take the school you aren't sure about. It sounds like it's on the up and see how it goes. Good luck

bombaychef · 29/04/2019 23:06

Take it. It's close. Two schools isn't a massive issue as long as close. You'll prob grow to love the school and gain a much better insight into the challenges faced by the well less off. Outcomes will be as good If not better IME

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 29/04/2019 23:10

Hmm, this "lower demographic" thing is a pretty horrible attitude, but there is a lot of that around, and ime people tend to slag off schools they haven't chosen for their children.

You sound as though it made a good impression. Take the place.

fwiw DC3s school is terribly "naice" in a posh bit of our town. The "demographic" seems to me to be suffering from a bad case of affluenza, and the school are not very good at understanding that not all of its children come from minted backgrounds.

meditrina · 29/04/2019 23:20

Trying to ignore the strange (snobbish) pars of this.

Stay on the waiting list for elder DC's school - it wouid be easier to have them together.

Accept the currently offered school.

Think about whether you really want to be on the waiting lists for the others. Currently offered school works logistically - would any of the others?

Yura · 30/04/2019 05:23

People who call you snobbish never had to make the choice for a school with loads of kids who have never seen a book before they started school...
We were in a similar situation, only the school we were allocated was also really far away and has disastrous results and a massive attendance problem (and we have 5 primary schools within 1 mile and didn’t get in any of them). your school sounds good though, in would have gone with it! as long as school can cope with disadvantaged backgrounds, its great (the one we were allocated with can’t)

Original poster

PreemieBlessing · 30/04/2019 07:42

Thanks all for your help, I think we are doing the right in accepting the school. I went to a primary school much worse than this and I was fortunate my parents supported us through out.
I feel some of the comments are strongly worded but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I wouldn’t say I’m snobby but I do want my child to be around children who’s parents would have similar aspirations and sadly this may not happen. We will do our best to support him.

Thank you for all the supportive messages and just making me feel like I’m doing ok with this.

OP posts:

RedSkyLastNight · 30/04/2019 07:47

Just to check if any if the local gossip about the school comes from people who actually have personal experience of the school?

If the answer is no, then depends whether you want to choose facts and your personal opinion or some stuff that people made up.

My DC went to a similar school to the one you are describing. They both did well and have benefited from mixing with all types of people, including those with SEN and those from disadvantaged backgrounds. Actually the main downside was having to listen to idiots sucking in their breath and saying "your DC go to that school?? But doesn't ....(insert "fact" based on 10 years out of date reputation extrapolated over the years by Chinese whispers). My DC are now at secondary school. I've not noticed that their peers who went to the nice middle class primary schools seem too much different to them.

The results, if it's from a school with more disadvantaged intake are very telling. It suggests that the other schools may be coasting based on their intake.

And on the subject of intake ... the only bullying my DC experienced at their school (swiftly nipped in the bud by school) ... was from nice middle class children.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 30/04/2019 08:05

I think "lower demographic" is just unfortunate phrasing.

The school sounds great fwiw. Sorry if you've said this but what is the age between the DC?

Yura · 30/04/2019 08:09

A diverse school is great IF the school can deal with it, and yours sound as if they do! go for it i would say (ours didn’t cope at all, reflected in abysmal results and attendance numbers)

LondonGirl83 · 30/04/2019 09:12

If the behaviour is great, and you liked the management and the results are great I'm not sure what you are concerned about.

Also, don't call people "lower" than you as it makes it sound like you look down on them and think you are superior to them. Its better to simply be factual and describe them as poor or less educated or whatever your perception of them might be.

One of the top performing (both in terms of absolute results and value add score) state primaries in my local area has one of the largest proportion of students of free school meals and with English as a second language. All children thrive there and they have a dedicated enrichment program for gifted students in addition lots of support for all learners.

One of the worst performing state schools locally (middling absolute results and negative value add scores) is actually one of the most middle class in demographic profile.

Judge each school by its own merits and don't make stereotypical assumptions about other families-- how could you possibly know that families on the other side of town don't sing or read to their children?!

99point9FahrenheitDegrees · 30/04/2019 09:30

Exactly the same happened to us. That 'rough' school was in the top ten of our county last year, beating all the schools with Good Reputations in our areas. Yes, some of the parents have maybe one O level. That made them families that had had fewer opportunities, not terrible people. Yes there were a lot more FSM kids. A good head can change a school and change a lot of lives. Take the place, see how you go. You can always change schools later if you need to.

Hollowvictory · 30/04/2019 09:40

What's a 'lower demographic' never heard that phrase before.
This school gets better results. So why wouldn't you want to go there?

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