Son in reception-need advice from experienced mums and teachers

[Headinabook85]

I wish we had the funds to send our two boys to private school but we don't. We aim to by secondary school which I feel is the most beneficial stage for paying anyway. My reasons rest solely in the fact I believe smaller class sizes are hugely beneficial for learning. I am a secondary school teacher who has taught in both state (10 yrs) and private (2years) so I feel I have some knowledge in this area. Nevertheless we have our eldest in one of the best state primary schools in the area. Very happy with it.

My son has shown massive improvements since he started and I know that our particular choice of school really pushes them early (e.g. he has had a little bit of h.w. each week since he started/reading books three times a week etc.) We are totally on board with this approach.

My son's teacher has told me he may not achieve the end of year standards and will probably need interventions in Y1. She says he is clever but it's not translating into his work yet. It is very likely a maturity thing.

I am so pleased that the school are supporting him so well. I just feel disappointed in myself...did I not "do" enough with him before school to prepare him for the academic side? All I focused on was reading lots of stories to him and getting him to dress himself and wipe reliably on the toilet etc.

I am also wondering if because I teach and because every mum thinks their little ones are bright little buttons, I had higher expectations as to how he would fare with his learning...I know I need to address this part of myself and only ever show positivity to him as he is keen on school and I would hate for that to change.

Really what I am looking for is advice-how do I best support him? How do I temper any disappointment I feel? Part of me feels we wouldnt be in this place if he was going privately....but how am I to know that for sure. I think my husband and I both had slow starts to school but are doing fine now. Silly to worry really, I just need reassurance from those older and wiser on this path x

Many independent schools can teach what they want and are inspected by ISIS not Ofsted. Many don’t do Sats and they don’t have to follow the national curriculum. Many state schools are better than private ones. Some private ones don’t have the best teachers and use outdated practices which are never revised.

Thank you all for your replies.

I agree with those who suggest that independent isnt always better than state. I agree wholeheartedly. After working in both sectors I could write reams about why! However the one draw for me is that for my quiet and gentle child with a hearing issue, the smaller class sizes in the independent sector could potentially have been more suitable.

Atalune thank you for the comprehensive list of things he can do to develop those motor skills.

I invested in plasticine (as opposed to playdough) and chunky plastic tweezers after the first parents evening to help in this area. Also, we continue to use bath pens for fun. I think I shall just keep incorporating these things into the times I play with them.

I do understand when people say "just chill" but at the same time it makes me feel a bit patronised. I have spent my career teaching and have known plenty of children where the parents expect teachers to do it all and appear to not get involved with their child. I just want to strike the right balance between being overinvolved and supportive enough.

To me it wouldnt be fair if I wasn't heeding the teacher's feedback and advice and just letting him get on with it, just banking up gaps in his knowledge to be unpicked a few years down the line. I guess you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Nevertheless, I'll take it on board and do my best not to worry.

And finally, thanks to those who reminded me learning is not linear! Always it comes in fits and starts. And yes, he is very happy at school and has lots of little friends-for which I am very grateful!