Good Preps for Rebellious Children?

[Jossina]

What are some good preps (5-11/13) in London for boys and girls that are a bit rebellious. Not badly behaved or spoiled, just outspoken, questioning and intelligent? Both single sex and co-ed suggestions are welcome.

Sunrise school Tottenham is a lovely alternative school.

outspoken, questioning and intelligent

Does that equal rebellion? Most children I know are outspoken, questioning and intelligent.

outspoken, questioning and intelligent

what, you mean normal children?

I think you are probably looking for an alternative, more non conformist school? Most London preps are focussed on results and next schools. Describing your children as “rebellious” would send most of them running to the hills.

If, in fact, your children are confident, questioning and intelligent then there are plenty of preps in London that would meet their needs.

If, however, you feel it’s ok for their confidence and independence to be almost disrespectful in the way they speak to their peers and adults then you will struggle. You can be a child who wants to know more without being “rebellious”. Any school would require your children to follow their rules and would expect parental support in achieving this.

I feel the title of your post may actually be preventing you from receiving any kind of constructive comments. Maybe rethink the way you have worded it?

What about the SPAG Union Prep as depicted in Diary of a Wimpy Kid

I’d expect pretty much all preps to be able to handle children who are outspoken, questioning and intelligent. I do wonder, however, whether they are so outspoken or questioning that they are disruptive. Perhaps it’s the use of “rebellious” that makes me think that.

If they are disruptive, they will annoy the teacher and the other children (and their parents). If they are not disruptive then they should be fine.

Please could you give us a bit more information?

Do you mean pain in the arse type children?

I mean children who aren't robots. Who will ask "why" in a non rude way when they're told to do something they feel is strange, though they will do it. Ones comfortable with adults to the point that they don't have that sort of deference that so many children are expected to have. Who might have interests and ambitions outside of say, playing a sport or being a pop star on one end but also isn't already thinking about Oxbridge. Also are definitely are more than outspoken and verbal enough to counterpunch (so to speak, not literally) any bullying from peers.

A school that will welcome a boy that doesn't like any sport beyond swimming and/or a girl who asks loudly and often why she can't wear trousers too. But isn't necessarily an "alternative" school.

Not sure if I explained that well.

Sort of a much more academic Summerhill? For children too competitive for such a freeform sort of education.

Are they “spirited” by any chance?

My friend's selective prep seems to be full of boys who don't go with the flow.

I get the impression that when they have asked impertinent questions at home the grown-ups have clapped delightedly and said 'oh WHAT a clever question!' Perhaps turned to their friends and said 'Isn't it WONDERFUL when they think for themselves!' Now the children think being a bit rude is just what grown-ups love.

Do you mean a bit like that?? If so, I don't think your son will stand out of the crowd.

If Summerhill is the school you want, then why on earth don't you just apply there?

But even they, with DC having input into the setting and updating of rules, with everyone having their say, are a bit low on tolerance of disruptive behaviour - and if younthink the sort of conduct you describe isn't disruptive, then you are very much in denia.

I mean children who aren't robots

I’ve never met a child who is like a robot. To be honest it sounds like you think the children in question are somehow ‘special’, but all the things you have listed are very normal characteristics displayed by children, particularly 5 year olds.

Do they know how to behave ie not waking out of class if they think it’s ‘boring’, get into long debates with teachers on a derail or opinion, follow rules even if they don’t like them (I’m thinking health and safety)?

If the children are going to be disruptive and stop other children learning because of their constant or frequent agitation - assuming they are NT the maybe they need to learn how to interact appropriately?

Schools (that we looked at/went to) like independent thinkers and kids with ‘interesting’ personalities - but also know when to stop.

Ones comfortable with adults to the point that they don't have that sort of deference that so many children are expected to have

Judging by the many of dcs' friends who over the years have said things to me like 'Eurgh, that's disgusting I'm not going to eat THAT' plenty of apparently prestigious schools will suit your children fine.

First, they're not my children. Second I'm really not explaining them well. Thank you for the tries, I'll contact a professional who can actually meet them and go over their histories to try and help them and their parents.

Whose children are they??

I don’t know any children who are robots. The children you describe sound like lots of children at prep schools all over London.

It may be that you are getting a hard time. For me it was the use of “rebellious”. In the same way that “spirited” toddlers were the ones most likely to thump my children, I think of “rebellious” children as being the ones most likely to be disruptive.

Which area of London do the family live in? I’m sure I can think of loads of places that might work but it’s not much use recommending places in north London if the family are in Notting Hill.

Are the children already at a prep school / moving from overseas / being home schooled?

Interestingly the person I know that went to summerhill wasn't like that at all. Not intelligent, not questioning. Attended zero lessons. Was illiterate when they left. A lovely kid though but needed a lot more structure and educational support than summerhill provided. It was like Lord of the flies there.

Somewhere like Hill House will welcome children who are questioning but aren’t going to pander to a 5 year old know it alls and refuse to try a new sport or activity.

You’re not going to find any school which will pander to know it alls because there (thankfully) aren’t enough parents like that to fill a school, and the rest of us don’t want a school like that

It sounds like a good name for a kids book ‘the achool for rebellious children’.

Anyway - since the children aren’t the OPs anyway - someone needs to really understand that there is a difference between a ‘good’ inquisitive mind and a ‘bad’ disriptive personality (where a child naturally opposes everything presented to them and asks ‘why?’ and doesn’t listen to the answer before asking ‘why’ again).

The second one will only mean that the child either needs to learn to keep schtum or that they will have problems later on being such a distraction.

I've heard Miss Peregrine's is good for peculiar children

😆

It's more that the boy, aged 6, will listen to the entire reasoning after he's asked why and somehow find the tiniest chink in the adults reason. Then ask about that chink slowly driving too many adults to the old chestnut "because I told you to!". His sister, aged 7, is not as interested in circumventing the rules but seems to see the world very much as victims that need help and bad people who need to be stopped. If you fall into the bad people category she will make sure everyone knows of her evidence.

Neither she or her brother have ever been violent in anyway. While the boy can be a bit of a daredevil and she is definitely no shrinking violet, neither are trying to climb the roof or run into the streets. Each has treated friends and families younger children and the own peers kindly. Neither are prone to lying.

I and the other family and friends trying to help these kids settle into London. We don't know where exactly they'll be settling but somewhere in the central to west considering the father's job. We realise their parents are not often the greatest and are hoping that they can at least attend schools that won't do any more damage.

You’re not selling them well.