Priority admission for adopted child

[Iamthestorm]

My lo is adopted and as I understand it will have priority admission when we apply for a place next year.

Where we live there is a school that is heavily oversubscribed and people move house paying 10s of thousands over the odds to get in and still don't always get a place.

I had thought of putting this school down as our first choice despite living out of catchment but now I'm not so sure as we've already hadn't a few snidey comments and suggestions that it's unfair. To be clear I haven't raised this, just when I've been asked which school we are going to choose, the comments have come. As an adopted child, dc might have identity/belonging issues going forward anyway without any school resentment thrown in.

Do people generally care once school starts or is it likely the resentment will continue? It would be quite obvious that we are outside catchment as the catchment is small. I also worry about taking a place from another child who lives closer although there are a number of other schools nearby. I'd be really grateful for any thoughts.

Thanks

I always thought it was 'looked after' children who get priority in the admission criteria. Looked after meaning fostered and not permanently adopted.

If it's the best school for your child then apply for it. Ignore (well try and ignore) comments

Absolutely 100% ignore these idiots!

Choose this school as long as you are happy with it. It is fair to have adopted children the best possible startt in life we can manage as a society.

I know this won’t be the first or last time you have to suck up other people’s stupid opinions but please don’t factor that into your school choices

Ignore them. Adopted children have had enough to deal with and deserve their choice of school.

It won’t be obvious and as time goes by people move for their and still remain at good schools.

If you like the school apply, I did, we got the place and it really doesn’t bother me if a few people moan. I did have some who said it was unfair so I pointed out that neglect, abuse etc are very unfair.

You should check carefully your local authority's Criteria. Mine is looked after and formerly looked after so as long as they were a looked after child at some point then you would count.

Tbh where there is more desire than places than anyone taking a place means someone else doesn’t get it. Whether it is using priority classification or buying the house next door to the school. But that is life. There are several kids in my child's Class in a very oversubscribed school who got in under this category and nobody bats an eyelid.

Frankly being an adopted child generally has precious few benefits that come with it over being a birth child. This is probably the main one. Get the best education for your child and don’t look back.

All have had to accept previou LAC since 2015

I live out of catchment for dds school - she's not adopted - but some of the parents have said "oh how did you get in?" But as their child goes there too I think they're just curious ..... I said it was luck - which it was for the year I had applied as we just got in as we had some extenuating circumstances which meant we got it.

Once you're in I don't think other parents care as you're all taking your children to the same school anyway

You should pick the school you think is best for your child. That might not always be the super popular high achieving school, you will be looking for one with excellent pastoral care and good working knowledge of issues that may present in adopted children, and how best to support them. Ignore anything else, including other parents opinions.

@Girlwhowearsglasses this. It’s no one else’s business anyway

Thank you, I've just looked at the local councils admission criteria and looked after means currently looked after and previously looked after including children who are adopted. Apparently they also help adoptive parents choose the right school so I might give them a ring nearer the time to get some advice. The problem is, that outwardly my child doesn't look or behave any differently to anybody else's and because I've tried to keep their story private people don't know what they've been through so only see the perceived unfair advantage. I just want us to stay in the protective preschool bubble forever!!

Thank you for taking the time to reply/advise

I don't really understand why adopted children need priority. Those still in care might need it for logistical reasons or to maintain some continuity in their lives esp if transitioning between primary and secondary school for example. But adopted kids have a permanent family - what does priority placement offer them?
Genuinely asking here, not meaning to offend, just curious

Adopted children typically cope with change and transition very poorly so lots of adopted children couldn’t cope with getting a bus etc to school, they also need to be able to access emotion coaching, which isn’t available at all schools.

Adopted children have permanent brain changes due to trauma, they are automatically at a huge disadvantage.

Ah, I see. Thanks for the explanation.

Once school starts I don’t think anyone would care - but do choose “the best school for your child” and not just the best “performing” school. If that’s the same place, go for it.

You don't mention anything about your child and how they are but 100% pick the right school for your child and don't worry about comments.

If a child has been adopted, it probably means they have been in foster care at some point in their lives. I can’t think of many reasons where a child would have been adopted without having to break an attachment, even if they were taken from their birth mother at birth-chances are they were a few days old. I have a friend who fostered to adopt and the new born baby was still over a week old when they got her- she had been with her ‘unsuitable’ birth mother for that week (under supervision in the hospital).

Whatever age the attachment (maybe more than one, depending on number of foster placements) is broken, there are theories that it still makes an impact on the child and the majority of adopted children will have had an attachment broken which may make an impact on them later in life.

Adopted children really do have more obstacles to overcome in their lives, some may have resentment later on about rejection by birth families. Really the least we can do as a society is to give them the best chance at life with good school places- it’s not their fault they were born in to the life they ended up with, so op, you should have no guilt in applying for a place at whatever school you think would be better for your child. I also not think it matters once you are at the school, I doubt anyone would even think about it (at least I’ve never had any conversations about this once the dc are in school, maybe in the applying stages, but not once they have allocated places).

God, people can be vile. ESP when it comes to school admissions. Visit the schools, choose the one that's the best fit.

In our area it's looked after children in care have priority, not adopted.
There is no reason why you can't apply to which school you want to.
just check your LA or school criteria.
If it isn't including adopted people and is over subscribed it might be better to apply somewhere else you wouldn't want to miss out on.

Hold your head up high and ignore any snideness, you would be nothing at all wrong and your child absolutely has the right to priority.

RomanyQueen1

LAs are no longer allowed to treat LAC and adopted children any differently, it has been that way for years, so i would be interested to know which LA are failing to correctly allocate places.

I don't really understand why adopted children need priority.

The average outcomes for adopted kids are poor. Not as bad as if they remain in care or as awful as if they remain with abusers; but most adopted kids come from a background of harm and that is not fixed instantly by going to a loving home.

I want to stress that there is a huge range of adoption backgrounds and adopted kids are just kids, but the chance to pick the right school can be very important in addressing additional needs which are more prevalent.

Any child who has been in the care system fares worse in schools than those who haven't
Take any help you can get and ignore anyone who says they don't deserve it. My DC had some horrible experiences in primary school so my advice would be to look for good pastoral care and a school that understands attachment

Yes in our local authority (in London) you would have priority for a school place - it goes (in order) looked after children (including adopted), siblings then distance to school.

Go for the school you want!

And honestly once you are in nobody will care a hoot. I have no idea where most of my son's school mates actually live. I don't care either.