Got a place in catchment school after accepting offer from prep

[amy1008]

I never thought we could get a place in our catchment school. It's hugely oversubscribed. And according to the record for the last 5 years, we got no chance to get in at all. It's a very good school, with good Ofsted report, well above average results and all the parents I know are happy with it.
But the thing is, we accepted an offer from a prep school in January, paid the deposit, went to several stay and play sessions with DD already. Again, this is a very good school with good reputation and results. It has a linked senior school, so no need to 11+ in the future. DD loves it. She calls it 'my big school'. A few of her pre school friends are going too. It seems a bit unfair to change now.
So any suggestions? They are both good schools, both local to us. The prep offers more accitivities and clubs which is good because we can't take DD to after school activities due to long working hour. Financially we could afford it but not comfortablely.
Thanks

We were in a similar position and went with the Prep school because a) DS loved it and b) it was more geared up for working parents with exceptional wraparound care, after school clubs and holiday clubs which our state provision has none of.

It sounds like that is important to you, does your state school offer a good level of wraparound care?

Financially we can afford it but not comfortably

I think you need to sit downand think long and hard about finance. Can you afford private education to 18? Check out secondary school fees and budget for a 5%/year increase (may be more).

If not, is your plan private primary/state secondary? Is the 11+ something this school supports, or do most of it'spupils (inc your dd's future friends) stay in the private sector for secondary?

Whatever you decide - there is no right answer- the impact if a change of plans will be far more minimal at 4 then, say, 7 or 11.

Also (no need to answer here) think about whether you're planning for any more children.

I agree that if finances would be in anyway right in the early years, I'd think very carefully about committing for the long term. Fees in the infant section of prep schools generally aren't completely unaffordable when compared to before and after school care costs. However, they tend to rise quite steeply and then there are a lot of additional costs thrown in once you're higher up the school. As PP said, take into account fee rises but also the costs of trips, residential trips, uniform (which can't be supermarket, blazers and dresses at my old school cost a fortune), music tuition, etc etc. Work out whether you can afford the upper school costs rather than the costs in Reception.

Don't worry about changing schools from your DD's perspective. Pick the right one based on your family's circumstances for the next 7-14 years. It sounds like you'd be happy with either so it will probably be a tough choice.

Thanks for the replies!
Wraparound care is very important to us. The catchment school has an after school club with very limited place. It's mainly free play. I have no idea how difficult to get in.

We did consider the fee increase. Luckily we are not in London, so the fee is not as crazy. If me and dh can both keep our current job, then we are probably fine. I guess we could always take in a lodger or down size our house if things went wrong (hopefully not).

I don't think the two schools will make a big difference acadamicly. We like the prep school because it has smaller class size, better facilities and DD could do sports or music instruments etc in after school club. If we didn't get the catchment school place, we'd very happy to send DD there. But now, having some extra saving is also very attractive.

Send her to the catchment school. If all goes well then you will have saved yourself a fortune and she will still have received a great education. If things go wrong you can then use the prep school as a back up. They wont turn you away in a few years time but if you start at the Prep and need to move her the catchment school wont have a space available.

You say no need for 11+ but are you sure you would be guaranteed a place in the senior school? Many schools quietly weed out unwanted students in Y5, or make it clear that there will not be a place come Y7.
The senior school may not suit your DD when the time comes - does the prep 'prep' for other entrance exams?
Could you afford fees at other Indies in the area, or would you be happy to go to state at secondary?

Also, you probably need to let the private know before the end of the Easter break if you are turning them down or else you may well have a terms fees to pay.

We were considering Private Prep for dd but luckily hadn’t put down a deposit as we fit a place in a lovely out of catchment Primary where lots of her preschool friends were going.
Right decision for us (especially as I found out I was pg not long afterwards) and she went to the same Private School in y7
A lot of her classmates had been at the school since 3 or 4 and they are much less streetwise than dd and have fewer friends outside school. Dd still has friends from Primary who went to different schools as wellas her school friends, which is nice as school friendships can get a bit intense. I do mock interviews each year with y10 at her school and quite a few of them talk about the downside of being at the same school from 4-16.
If there is a good alternative definitely consider it and look at going Private for Secondary if that’s the best option at the time

If you're thinking you might need to take a lodger in down the line to finance it I would withdraw from the prep.

Kids are resilient especially at that age. I made dd move school away from her friends at 7yo and had to carry her in the first day sobbing hysterically. She was fine by lunchtime.

Seconding advice to think carefully about the finances.

You need to factor in (probably above inflation) fee increases between now and when your DD leaves senior school.
This is an interesting article showing how school fees have risen sharply compared to earnings over the last 25 years:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/the-charts-that-shows-how-private-school-fees-have-exploded-a7023056.html%3famp

And yy the extras. My DC went to private school for a few years and the extras can really add up.
Uniform was all logoed or exclusively patterned down to socks, and the cost of getting the bare minimum of uniform was easily a few hundred pounds.
School lunches were compulsory, as was paying a subscription to the PTA and paying for a school magazine.
Add in several school trips a year, plus residential school trips when older, music lessons, wrap around care, holiday clubs etc etc

Plus a change in school plans now would be less disruptive than a change a few years down the line.

Also, University places are often becoming harder for those educated privately. Much of this is anecdotal but they are (rightly) working harder on ensuring access includes the less privileged. Your DD might miss out at 18 because of this.

You say no need for 11+ but are you sure you would be guaranteed a place in the senior school?

Also a good point. The private school my DC went to ran straight through from nursery to end of senior school.

We were told to remove our oldest DC because he wasn’t doing well enough academically. The school told us that they felt he’d struggle to get good GCSEs. This was when he was just 7 years old. He’s not the only child they’ve weeded out.

University places are not harder to get for those educated privately - unless they don't get the required grades that is. All that'schanged is that you cant guarentee strolling into Oxbridge just because you attended a private school.

Take the prep school place and free up the state school place for someone who isn't as lucky to have a choice between a private school and a great local school.
Think it's very selfish of you to even be considering taking the state place when you've got a school that you want AND can afford.
Think of others less fortunate.

I am in Scotland. It has definitely changed here.

school fees will generally at least double between reception and sixth form (5%+ each year compounded) , so you need to take that into account.

It sounds harsh but try not to factor her feelings right now into it. She is only 4 and Sept is ages away. She actually has very little invested in this school now and you have plenty of time to get her excited about a different school.

Beware the fallacy of prior investment. Having paid a deposit and got her excited about the school are not proportionate reasons to commit to 10 or 14 years at a total cost of, what, well over 100k? Also factor in that things like music lessons are a significant extra cost at private school. If you are already talking about taking in a lodger could you afford £100 blazers, £20 week in, week out, for music lessons, plus the cost of the instrument itself, £hundreds for school residentials and trips.

We went with a philosophy of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". If there's a reasonable prospect of getting her into a private school later then you have little to lose, and much to gain, by trying state school first.

You can certainly spin it as a positive to her. Oh you're so lucky, a place is available at an even better school, etc.

This happened to us many years ago. We went for the catchment school. Our dc actually moved to a private school (one not available to us for reception or we would have sent them there from the start) at 7 but we saved £££ for those three years and they had a great start to school life with a lot of local friends. If money is an issue then to me your choice is a no brainer, you'll forget the deposit you lost/emotional investment made in no time, I can assure you.

Think it's very selfish of you to even be considering taking the state place when you've got a school that you want AND can afford.

Just because the OP might be able to afford it, although it doesn't sound like it would be a comfortable existence, doesn't mean she should take the Prep place. Everyone in this country is entitled to use state education regardless of wealth. It is not depriving another child of the place, the OP's DD got in because she met the criteria. Your post is assuming all sorts and its embarrassing to read.

Thanks everyone, lots of useful points. So the main problem is the financial concern now. I'll have another round of careful look.
Regarding entry to senior school, the prep did say the vast majority will join in without a test. They 'weed' in year 4. I haven't started thinking about university yet. It seems so far away.

THey"weed" in year,4. TO be honest, that made my blood run cold. to tell an 8 year old who has been at your school for nearly five years that they need to pack up their bits and pieces and leave is awful, shows little compassion or care either for the leavers or the children who stay behind.

Also shows pretty poor expectation that their teaching skills are any good, most state schools I know carry on pushing kids , tracking their progress and finding ways to help them to achieve rather than shrugging their shoulders and saying "nothing we can do here, move" .

I agree, would not want to send my dc to a school where they might be kicked out at 8/9yo.

They 'weed' in year 4.

they know they are teaching actual human beings, right?!