Should we repeat Reception for our summer-born?

[bluegirl101]

I wonder if anyone has any helpful insights into our dilemma with our 4-year-old DD. Born on 31st August she is currently halfway through Reception in a private school. This September, she could either move into year 1 at the same school or we could take up the offer of a deferred reception place in a very good local state primary. These are the pros and cons of repeating reception in a different school.

Pros of repeating reception

• She can be a very shy child, who finds large groups and new situations quite overwhelming (eg it takes her 30 minutes to detach herself from our legs at her friends' birthday parties - many of whom are almost a year older than her). But when she does get involved, she is full of beans. We instinctively feel that she would be happier as one of the older children in her cohort (as opposed to very youngest) for the rest of her education. This is not about gaming the system to get her into Oxbridge in 13 years time...
• The local state primary is lovely (eg the headmistress remembered all our names when we bumped into her 9 months after first meeting her)
• She could apply from there to private schools at 7+ and 11+. And if she didn't get in to somewhere we liked at 7+, she could happily continue at the same school. Her current school becomes boys only at 7+ so she would have to move anyway at that age. And if she didn't get the school we wanted at 7+, she would have to enter the state system in year 3, potentially not getting our first-choice school and joining classes who already knew each other very well
• It would save a lot of money for secondary / tertiary education

Cons of repeating reception in a new school

• Her current teachers (who are also lovely) feel very strongly that it would be a mistake to repeat reception elsewhere. She is comfortably in the middle of her class at the moment
• She is gaining in confidence all the time and might miss her current friends. What seemed a no-brainer in September is now a much trickier decision in April
• Some private schools won't accept applications from children who have deferred entry and are now "out of year"
• We're perhaps unduly influenced by personal experiences of going through school young

Hugely grateful for any thoughts / personal experiences, either at this stage or later down the line.

If she is settled at school and making progress do you want to disrupt this? She will need to settle in possibly a bigger class wth more children who are not ready for school and repeat everything. I would not think this would necessarily help her. It feels disruptive and possibly counter productive. If she’s not struggling, why do it? Would she miss friends? She will have to make new ones. That can be stressful. I would stay put and review when she’s older.

My DD and DH are August birthdays, I am July and DD2 is May. We are all summer born! We didn’t need to repeat anything with DDs and DH and I never gave summer born a thought.

I personally wouldn’t move her. I think you’d set her back massively in her confidence by uprooting her after a year. Having to redo everything and make new friends at 5 and leave your other friends behind? I couldn’t do that to dd.

Plus the class sizes will be bigger at state, what if she ends up quiet and lost and doesn’t get the support she needs? You’d be looking at moving her again?

I think at 7 she’d be more robust and able to understand why she had to move. But staying private will surely give you a boost when applying for the 7+ school if that’s where you wanted her to go?

If she isn’t having problems developmentally or academically then I would keep her where she is. Some children are just naturally more shy regardless of where in the school year they sit. Changing schools now could actually create more problems.

She will most likely be bored repeating reception. I have a start of September child who has struggled far more with boredom and social issues being the oldest in the year than my eldest who is the youngest in the year.

If she is summer born and aleady middle of the pack in reception, she’ll potentially pull ahead as she gets older and the impact of age reduces.

I’m summer born and while the stats can be worrying all children are individuals. I graduated top of my class in a highly academically selective school so it’s not always an issue. Similarly, as you get older the age difference socially means less and less as well.

I’d stick with where you are given your daughter seems to be doing well.

Thanks, everyone. Hugely helpful. One thing worth adding is that she's already been in the same place for three years (the baby room fed into the nursery which fed into reception) so it wouldn't be a question of moving her just as she began to get settled. And she'd have to move anyway two years from now, when the school becomes single-sex, whereas moving to a state primary in September could give her a straight six years of uninterrupted schooling.

But still, your responses look pretty unanimous. Thanks again. Very useful food for thought.

I’d move her.
If you are going to have to do it in 2 years time anyway that would be a significant factor.

I was thinking don’t but if she’ll have to move at 7 I would. The advantage of being one of the older ones and having done reception once will help outweigh any disadvantage from being in a larger class etc.

I don’t believe children really form friendships much before YR. Parents form friendships on behalf of their DC! She will be used to routines, ethos, rules, expectations and almost certainly in a smaller teaching group if she stays where she is.

If she is comfortably at the middle of the class, I would leave her. We repeated reception for our son, but he started it age 3 (at a french school)....so he was VERY young and at the bottom of the class. Now he is where he should be....so I am glad we repeated. He is doing well and no regrets at all repeating him. He is much more confident etc. But do what you think is best because ultimately you know whats best for your child.

If she's middle of the class it doesn't sound like she needs to repeat the year.
I was a year ahead at school (Nov born) . So when I was about to turn 8 I joined a class who were about to turn 9. I was middle of the class throughout school. Got 1st class degree from Russell group uni.
My son's bday is end May. He is the 2nd youngest in his class (and the shortest). He is in yr1 and the best reader and top group for maths. Although physically tiny he is happy and doing well. I wouldn't make her repeat the year. It could be demoralizing and boring for her?

I think if you are going to do it, then you have to make a decision about applying for 7+ now. If she’s gaining in confidence then I don’t think it’s fair on her to move her now, then move her again in 2 years. If you’re going to apply for 7+ leave her where she is, if you’re going to leave her in state for all of primary and she has to move at 7 anyway then you might as well move her now.

A lot harder to go into a state school at 7, basically what she has done so far is like nursery for many children so I don't think there would be a problem moving her providing you like the state school. All depends on what you plan for her at 7

I'd move her so that she has a chance to make friends in the State school. It's far more difficult breaking into friendship groups when you're a bit older if you're a naturally shy person.

I would move her especially given that she will have to move at 7 anyway so the argument about forming relationships with peers and staff at the current school is a red herring.

I think she would probably benefit hugely from being one of the oldest and the fact she will find some things easier will probably help her develop confidence.

I wouldn’t move her. Being not very confident, ahead of others academically and bored can be a recipe for diseaster (at least it was for me). I wish i would have been a year up, i was mercilessly bullied, bored out of my mind and consequently lost all my confidence

Slightly off-topic, but why would you need to move her at 7, OP? Is this because of a dislike of single sex primary schools? Would she need to move at 7 from independent to state?

Sorry for all the questions!

Otherwise, my b'day is also 31st August, and it never crossed my mind (or my parents' minds) that it was a big deal. My DM did say later that I would have been bored and disruptive if I'd been in the year below (which I could have been, as it was an independent school). She was right.

Thinking about continuity etc, and if you really would have to/want to move her at 7, would you be able to switch at the end of this year, but for her to join Y1 of the state primary? I certainly wouldn't repeat Reception, whichever school you decide is the one for her...