Help me choose between these two schools

[inmyfeelings]

So ds is 3 and about to start nursery school full time in September .

School A is a large age 3-18 school with an excellent reputation and is the most over subscribed school in the city . It is a non fee paying grammar school . About a ten min walk for me but will mean a using a very busy road to get to work on the days I do work . School times are 8.30 -3pm. The school wrote to us with an offer of a place and there was something I didn't quite like about the tone of the letter . It was full of rules and expectations like 'my child will be on task all the time ' (he's 3 ! I can't guarantee that ) and if we do not comply he will lose a place at the school etc . But the school has a great reputation and is very prestigious with a wonderful building and resources .

School B is excellent in terms of the progress the children make at the school but it is much smaller , single form entry and a low profile school . It is also a church of England school and I think I prefer a secular education for ds. However , his best friends at pre school will be going here and he's very much attached to this little group . The school feels much more laid back and has a non obligatory uniform , they haven't sent us a scary rules list . School times is 9-3.30 which is so much better suited to our and ds needs . He isn't an early riser . It's slightly further from where I live but nearer to where I work . It's much nearer to where ds father lives but further from where he works . There are a majority number of EAL children at this school and it is in a more deprived area than school A for context .
I'm torn . Leaning more to school B but don't want to regret it later .
Thoughts ?

If he's 3, aren't you just considering a nursery place at the mo?

Yes, it's nursery which is attached to school but I'm assuming he'll probably stay on wherever he's at if he gets a place ?

No, you will need to apply for a place for school and the usual admission criteria will come into play. So if you would like him to stay on at which ever you choose now you need to look at each school admissions rules. Are you in catchment? You should be able to find out form the schools or LA if any children from where you live get a place at the school.

I'm in the catchment for both schools so I meant I think he's likely to be offered a place at reception for either school . Obviously there's no guarantee .

I've got neighbouring children that go to both schools . We are in the parish for the C of E school and in the catchment for school A.

I think it depends on your child. My ds is going to a one form entry village school as he is shy and can get quite overwhelmed. I used to work on an excellent four form school but despite its reputation I know ds would be lost and be anxious going to a school that size. Which school fits you child the best in terms of need do you think?

School B. If you are in catchment for A you can always put it down as a school choice in 6 months if you’re not happy with school B.
It sounds like it’s still on the route from home to work and he already has friends there.

Myname he has friends at school B but he is very boisterous and sociable and makes friends easily . I don't think he'll be fazed by a big school , he'll probably love it .
My mum is all for school A as it is a two minute walk from her house so handy for emergencies . I'm a lone parent with other teen dc so need all the help I can get . However as the last post says he already has friends at school B and if it doesn't work out I can switch it up in future . I think despite him being bubbly etc it's still easier knowing he's got good friendships going in .

Also , school B is more homogenous and school A is much more diverse , which I like as DS is from a very diverse background .
But I would feel terrible about him not being with his friends and then I think I shouldn't be banking on friendships of 3 year olds as they'll probably move on ! His father leans more towards school A as it is non religious but has left it to me to make the final decision .
I was totally set on school B until I had people telling me I was crazy not to grab a place at school A because of its popularity.

The great thing about school is meeting new children. Do not assume friends at 3 will remain friends at 6 or older. I would look around both schools. Many schools have parent contract “rules”. However no school
(Not nursery) can exclude a child without going through the exclusions procedure. I would take the “rules” with a fairly sizeable pinch of salt. They just are seeking parental support. They don’t expect a 3 year old to be on task all the time. At non compulsory school age, children can be removed but they rarely are.

I would look closely at the schools. Try and talk to local parents who use both schools. What do they think? Hopefully you will get some info that helps you decide which will be best for DS.

Go and stand outside both schools at home time, without DS.
How busy is it?
How do the pupils and parents behave and interact with each other and the staff?

Visit both schools. Take DS. How do the adults interact with him?
Ask about behaviour management for this age group, which is closest to your own style?

It is a non fee paying grammar school

I'm not sure how an 'all through' grammar school works - what happens to the year 6 DC who don't make the cut?

School A used to be a fee paying selective grammar school and is now a government funded city academy . It is no longer a selective school so year 6s automatically gain admission to y7. Many argue now that it's 'only a grammar school by name ' and the term 'grammar school ' is just a nominal one now but the school continues to perform at a high standard .
I'm definitely going to pay a proper visit to the schools to gauge which would be a best fit for ds. I also like the idea of hanging around at pick up time to get a better feel of the schools . I know parents of children at both schools and they speak highly of them both!