Child's tutor asking personal questions

[fifi40]

My child has a private tutor (the tutor is an acquaintance known to me and many local families). Recently I've noticed that the tutor has been asking myself and my child questions that are somewhat personal and nosey (e.g. about my other child's dental appointments, why he's going etc). My child goes to the tutor's house. It's not a safeguarding issue, she's very nice and friendly but it's intrusive, very nosey and i feel it's somewhat overstepping the mark. By the time I collect my child, the tutor has already asked my child (who has told them) and then she follows it up with me with further questions when I collect her! Any thoughts or suggestions on how to handle this?

I had similar experience! not with tutor, but with other parents and my childminder. There was this parent, who I did not know at all, in a sports club, asking my child about his school, his exams, his homework, his other activities, etc etc.. I do feel very annoyed with those nosey people.

Is she asking because you’re expected to stay?

No I’m not expected to stay.

Tell your dc to say to her when asked a personal questions, " My mum tell me not to talk about personal stuff." etc? If she is a decent person, she may take a hint that you aren't happy.

It's a bit odd. I used to do tutoring and would try to get to know the child a bit, a few played sport or music and I'd catch up with how the that was was going, if they'd started secondary school I'd ask general questions about what it was like, how they were finding it etc. I can't imagine asking about the dentist though.

Yes that's how it started. Perfectly reasonable questions about how was your weekend, talking about hobbies etc.... now she's asking quite probing questions about personal things that I'd rather she didn't. It's nothing major or a secret, I just feel it's crossing the line a bit. It's tricky as my daughter is so open and wouldn't really know what's a personal question and what isn't. to give you an example, my son had to have an urgent dental appointment - she was asking if it was a check up and then if so was my daughter going for a check up at another time... She then started asking my daughter probing questions about a friend of mine who died.

Think she is one of those people who want to become good friends who don't realise they are really crossing the line.
Talking about the death of a friend is totally in appropriate. I personally would be very vague and distant and not hang around to chat. Wait outside when collecting DC and get away promptly.

I agree OP these questions seem over a line. When I chatted to kids it was just to make them feel relaxed. When you start asking them about football/piano/nintendo/whatever they were into you could see them untensing and it would really help ease them into the lesson. I'm not sure how talking about death or dentists would achieve that at all!

OP do you live in Hampshire?