Changing schools in Reception

[depp1020]

Hi, my DD is at a state infant school. She attended the attached nursery and thrived in her class of 30; the peer group was lovely. The nursery class was split into three Reception classes with 25 children in each. Throughout Reception, DD has complained regularly about the noise level in her class. She doesn’t have sensory issues as such, but doesn’t like excessive noise. I am a parent volunteer so know first hand that there are a number of loud boys in her class and several who mess around regularly. It’s always the same boys who have to be disciplined and DD often ends up sitting next to either one, or two, of these boys on the carpet (carpet spots get changed every half term). Unfortunately, there are similar boys in the other two Reception classes so it wouldn’t make much difference if the children were mixed up for Year 1. Last week DD said she wished there was a school with just girls. I’m not sure if it would be fair for DD to continue in this environment for another 2 1/2 years. Also, DD’s classroom is very small and there is no direct access to outdoor space so the children end up spending most of their time in the small classroom. The playground is quite small too.

Another issue is that I am becoming increasingly disillusioned with the narrow curriculum at the school. There is a daily diet of phonics and maths every morning and it is subjects such as PE that get dropped when the class have to rehearse for an assembly etc. DD has recently started to complain that school is boring and that every day is the same, although I’m not sure if it’s any different at other state schools and this is something most children probably say at some point. I have also realised that it is a pushy school academically.

We had planned for DD to attend the local independent co-ed 7-18 school from juniors for the more rounded and broad curriculum, the opportunities and experiences. There is an independent 3-18 girls’ school locally which is very nurturing but I ruled it out for nursery because it was all girls; I thought this might be a disadvantage and DD would lack confidence around boys when she moved to the co-ed indy.

However, now I am thinking about whether to send DD to the girls’ school and seeing how she gets on. DD’s current teacher describes her as confident and popular with lots of friends so I am not so concerned about the confidence issue. She gets on very well with the boys and girls in her class.

I was just wondering whether other posters had moved their DC for similar reasons or whether they just seem trivial.

Many thanks.

If the indie girl's school isn't TINY, move her there. She will be just fine. There's a lot of movement in these early years and she'll settle well.

Indie schools are stricter in my experience.

I would move her. To my mind, the earliest years of school are the most important. It's harder to rekindle a love of learning than it is to make sure it's never lost in the first place.

I moved my dd in the first term as the school was not what I wanted.

I didn’t make a fuss to dd or the school. I just told dd she was going to somewhere else. Almost like it had finished. She was totally fine.

I ended up working at the same school in that exact classroom twelve years later so it was a good job I didn’t make a fuss...

I think I would move her . The school doesnt appear to be the right fit.

And if the solution to the problems is your dd being part of a seating plan i can tell you now things get worse not better as the problems are deemed solved and your kid gets stuck being the buffer zone kid.

Access to a decent playing area would he vital for me. At dds school reception bave their own little area fenced off from the main infamts playground and they were allowed in and out as they pleased in the afternoons ( most learning was done in the mornings)

The curriculum is pretty set at state school, and yes of course they are inside, it's school not nursery. If you want to switch to private the classes will be smaller but being all girls may have its own challenges (and despite being few paying it doesn't guarantee behaviour, schools are businesses and need the money!)

You need to be happy with her school, but I would suggest lots of research before you decide because from experience the grass isn't always greener, indi schools have different problems perhaps but aren't perfect either.

Thank you so much for your your replies.

HennyPennyHorror - the school had over 400 girls on roll in 2017. It is located on a large site with lots of facilities. The girls in KS1 are in their own building. It is definitely not a strict school - in fact quite the opposite. There aren’t any selection tests for the girls apart from a transfer test at 11 to the senior school. The school also has very good value added scores.

ReaganSomereset - I agree, the most important thing for us is for DD to develop a love for learning and have an enjoyable childhood. I went to school in the 80s and absolutely loved school; I have so many happy memories but schools have changed a lot since then.

SavoyCabbage - it is heartening to know that things can turn out fine and you provide good advice.

GerryblewuptheER - the current school has a lot of positives but unfortunately not having direct access to outdoor space, and the impact of this, is a negative along with a small playground.

anniehm - I looked at a lot of schools for DD because we were renting when we first moved to the area. I realised then that there was never going to be the perfect school. DDs current school is very popular and well regarded but I feel that the class environment isn’t ideal and I can’t see this improving. I have visited the girls’ school in the past and the issue I had was that it was all girls! I felt that boys would provide a balance and this worked in nursery but is actually having a negative impact in school.

depp

I used to think the same.

"How will they learn to deal with boys"

Except now I realise that what they are really learning to deal with is the sexual harassment, being stereotyped out of things, being used to separate problem boys, and forced into the role of being responsible for boys behaviour. All whilst being told to put up or shut up.

They have their whole lives to learn all about that. If an all girls was an option for me here I'd have taken it. Worse case scenario I have to pull her and put in mixed.

And no I dont dislike boys. Quite the opposite. I just think.it does them no favours to allow these stereotypes to carry on. If no girls were present they'd have to think.of something else. Shame they dont do that anyway. Boys are let down big time too

Yes, that’s exactly it, Gerry - I also used to think how would DD learn to be around boys if she was at a girls’ school. She doesn’t have any siblings and most of her cousins are girls. It’s a shame about school as there are some lovely boys in her class and she does enjoy playing with them. But she does also moan about the disruptive ones!

What you say does ring true and I have witnessed some of this myself in DD’s school. We are planning on visiting the girls’ school soon and talking to a couple of parents who sent their DDs there in the past.

She has actively said she wishes she could go to a school with all girls. You have that as an option. If you can afford it, then why not? I'd move her if that's what she wants.

Your current school isn't working and you have the ability to move to another. It's great to have that choice.

So personally I would move her. I don't know if I would pick all girls, that's not for us, but if it works for you and her then fine.

We are at an independent school, what I love about it is the relaxed child led learning, lots of learning through experiences, outside time, forest school, the kids can shape the themes for the week (ie if they all got excited about seeing a fire engine on the way to school the teachers adapt the lessons to a fire engine theme). The pastoral care is incredible. They are learning to be happy people, not just learning phonics so they can pass an arbitrary test.

My daughter is blossoming and confident, so much curiosity. In her previous school she was quiet and not so confident/happy.

Personally I wouldn't hesitate

As a side note: there are 7 girls and 12 boys in her class. She has never mentioned that boys to be overwhelming etc, I think they are very well managed and behaviour is good (even from some noticeable tricky children - it isn't selective)

Lots of girls go to single sex school from 4 and grow up as functioning members of society, she'll be fine - I'd move her. Think about what she does outside school e.g. cubs rather than brownies so she has mixed activities outside school.

pinkcardi- your DD’s school sounds lovely. We are in the Midlands and unfortunately there isn’t a huge amount of choice wrt independent schools, unlike areas such as Berkshire, Surrey and London.

dietcoke - yes, I am aware that girls who attend girls only schools grow up to be functioning members of society. I attended one myself for two years but it was the one part of my education that I didn’t particularly enjoy and would change if I could. Some of the girls were lovely but some were obsessed by boys and the environment did seem a bit unnatural. A recent friend whose DD is in my DD’s class had a mainly all girls education and she said she would only send her DDs to co-ed schools. She comes across as confident and works in a professional role but admits that she isn’t very confident around men and attributes this to the schools she attended, including abroad. (She is not aware that I am thinking of a girls’ school for DD as it is a very recent development.) Of course this is all anecdotal. I like the idea of sending DD to Beavers rather than Guides if we do end up moving her.

depp

I think alot of women arent confident around men. I'm certainly not. Probably because from being in school growing up where you are somehow frigid a slag and a.lesbian all at once and the subject of games/teasing it certainly became extremely difficult to work out if guys were taking the piss or genuinely liked you.

There are pros and cons to both.

@RKM1196

You need to start your own thread in the appropriate section.

Back to the OP. Girls really can thrive with girls. My DD was fed up with silly boys too and she was used by teachers because she was sensible! I really think you can introduce boys when necessary. Friends will have boys. Your DD will make friends and they will have boy siblings. They can meet boys on their own terms. If the YR teacher allows a high noise level I would definitely walk away. I have seen 60 children in a hen and chickens classroom with low noise levels. Effective teaching and high expectations!

So yes, move!

Thank you for sharing your experience, BubblesBuddy. What would you say have been the main positives about your DD being in an all girls environment and have there been any negatives?

DD’s teacher is lovely but she is an NQT so it will be a huge learning experience for her this year. Although she is young, she is firm with her expectations. She is supported by two lovely and very experienced TAs but I’m not sure about the extent of their involvement in the afternoons.

Moved DD1 at the end of her Reception year - socially in particular she just had not fitted into the local school and I was becoming increasingly concerned at how she was slipping backward academically and not being challenged at all (and I'm not coming at that from the angle of expecting some kind of hell-hole Reception hot-house... but she'd pretty much made where they wanted her to be by the end of the year and was being left to amuse herself - the school we moved to actually has LESS pressure on the kids in terms of tests in Y1).

Best decision I ever made - the new school is just a much better fit for her and she's thrived there and made a lovely group of friends. DD1 is not a child who copes at all well with change and uncertainty so I was expecting it to be a complete nightmare for us to change her school but actually, once she'd seen the playground and found out the colour of the school uniform she was absolutely fine with it and came out after her first day announcing she fancied a job as the class teacher (I think she upped her aspirations to planning on running the school fairly sharpish as well to the bemusement of the Head).