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Primary education

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Original poster

Teacher physically assaulted me

36 replies

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 16:09

Ok so, this happened 25 years ago when I was maybe 5/6 but...she is still a teacher.

I was a very quiet child and perhaps that's why she thought she could get away with it. I'd had an argument with a classmate for helping me with a math test when I didn't want help (nothing major just a 'go away' sort of thing) anyway, teacher comes over and grabs me by the neck and lifts me high up into the air. Held me there for about 10-15 seconds. Of course I was terrified. I believe I would have told my parents at the time (I certainly did at some point) but they didn't want to make a big deal out of it. And I sorta understand I guess because her niece and sister were our neighbours... (though I think if it had been me I would have marched round there and decked that cow xD).

A few years later I had her as my teacher again. She started to make me stay behind after class for hours on end for weeks, claiming my spelling was bad and I needed to practice (which to be fair was probably true) but I felt it at the time...and I look back on it now... and realise that she was most probably just doing it to bully me. Her niece and I were friends and I remember distinctly feeling that I didn't want to say anything and get her in trouble because she was my friends aunt. But she was such a bully.

Anyway I saw her the other day and she as all 'oh one of my wonderful ex students' as if I was her achievement or something. And..I felt sick. And its so odd but I find myself sitting here and crying at the thought of it. And im like 'it was only one little thing, years ago like is it even a big deal?' but yeah...actually, you know what, it is.

And here's the thing, she is still teaching. I think someone said she is actually the head there now (which I guess at least would mean that she doesn't teach) but it doesn't say on their website. I feel I want to do something, and I want to know what avenue to pursue. I mean I just want to forewarn someone like...to get them to keep an eye on her. Not an official complaint exactly but just something so that if someone else, a kid maybe, speaks up about similar treatment...hopefully someone will actually listen. And so that maybe, they will keep a better eye in her in future. Suggestions?

OP posts:

Original poster

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 20:31

Lol oooh evil. I wonder if she has a pa. Feel sorry for them if she does, can't imagine she is easy to work for.

Wonder if others have reported her for similar things over the years.

OP posts:

nocluenoidea · 10/02/2019 20:53

Without meaning to downplay your experience or your right to be upset by it, surely this sort of occurrence was far more common in the 90s (when you said it happened), and even more so in the 80s,70s etc etc. It would make it less unusual for the teacher to behave in this manner and perhaps she considered it acceptable.
It doesn't make it right but I definitely remember this sort of thing happening at school on a handful of occasions.

Are you still friends with any of your classmates? Might be worth asking their memory of it if you're seeking clarity, and might also be worth asking if anyone else felt 'bullied' by this teacher. I'm not sure making you stay behind to do spelling could be considered bullying though??? Unless some other things happened during the time you were kept behind

user1457017537 · 10/02/2019 20:55

It is bullying when combined with the other incidents and if she was deemed the only child to need this “help” and was on her own.

MistressDeeCee · 10/02/2019 21:00

Please do talk to NSPCC. You'll feel better for talking, and getting clarity.
💐

Gingerkittykat · 10/02/2019 21:15

I remember teachers getting away with horrific things back in the 80s and 90s. One memory is of my registration teacher who also taught photography short courses. He had stacks of photography mags lying around which were essentially soft porn. Another memorable teacher was in primary school and she would wash kids mouths out with soap if they swore.

Unfortunately the culture was for blind obedience to authority back then, my parents were both educated but would have never questioned a teacher.

It's not surprising that seeing the teacher who harmed you was unsettling to you. Lets hope her teaching methods have moved on.

I would say it is possibly asking to speak to the police off record and see if it is worth reporting. I'm sure that she would have treated many other kids the same way over the years.

Original poster

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 21:33

Yeah would have been about 93/94 I would say. Times were different but it still wouldn't have been acceptable if the extent of it had been witnessed by an adult (maybe a wee smack would have been overlooked but not a chokehold lol). But yeah parents definitely respected teachers back then and it was just a bit more dont-rock-the-boat.

I am not still in touch with ppl from back then though im sure my best friend from the time would remember it. He actually still lives in the area and recently had a baba. Might bring it up with him if I ever bump into him.

And yeah I would say if u are the only child being kept back like that (when i'd guess other kids were struggling too, probably more than me) then that is bullying. 100%. I felt it too. Its just as a child you thought adults (especially teachers) had absolute power.

OP posts:

Original poster

Solstice888 · 10/02/2019 21:44

*and by 'bring it up with him' i mean the situation not the child haha.

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BarbarianMum · 11/02/2019 00:47

Are you in the UK? Because times were not that different in the early 90s. A teacher at our school was dismissed for a similar assault on a pupil in the early 80s (there'd been complaints about his bullying before but he was rough with a girl and that was that).

Original poster

Solstice888 · 11/02/2019 00:54

Yeah times or not it definitely wouldn't have been ok either way.

OP posts:

Allusernamestakenbutthis · 11/02/2019 10:31

Are you in touch with your old schoolmates? Do they also remember?

Sleephead1 · 11/02/2019 10:59

I went to school in the 90s and never saw anything like this my parents got hit with rulers ECT but I'm guessing you are my age and it wasn't acceptable when I went to school. Are you saying she used one hand around your neck to lift you off the ground up to her level ? Are you sure that is exactly what happened it's just I think she would have to be extremely strong to be able to lift your weight like that and hold you in that position ? it obviously isnt acceptable that she touched you in anyway and I'm apologise if it sounds like I don't believe you because I'm sure she did frighten you it just seems unusual that she would be that strong. I don't know what you could do about it now to be honest as it's so long ago , I'm guessing no teaching assistant? and the other people present were children. So I don't know who you could speak to about it as she obviously won't admit it. Maybe talk to your parents in more detail about what you told them ?

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