Teachers avoiding meetings?

[User544788275748282947]

So I always read on forums and hear on the mum curcuit that if things are not going well in school, you should work with the school, talk to the teacher etc...

I spoke with my son's teacher twice last year - both times for 10 minutes about subject progress, at parents evening. So I'm not someone that is always trying to have lengthy discussions or take up the teachers time.

This year (year 2) I have some concerns about ds behaviour and about the class (v disruptive). I've tried to talk with the teacher but get palmed off. I have serious concerns that I want to discuss, to the point that I might move my son to another school, but the teachers don't seem to want to know. When I requested to speak to the form teacher, the year head phoned me to ask me not to(?) I emailed the head to say about my worries about DS and that I was thinking of moving him to another school, and he did ..... nothing ....?

This is an ofsted outstanding school??

Is this weird ?

Yes, I'd happily meet the head of year! Anyone will do! Currently though, no-one will meet me! I understand the head of year might be wanting to protect the teacher (which is obviously nice and kind of him (although I really have no intention of being anything other than nice to the teacher, so she probably doesn't need protecting!)) but that doesn't mean no one should give me 5 minutes to discuss my concerns!

Thanks all, I think we are now 85% likely to move him to a different school....just nervous to make the leap!

Ah, so much of what you've said resonated with me and what happened in the runup to moving my DS. They did meet with me (class teacher, KS1 leader, teacher who had been doing a lot of the PPA cover for the class), but although I was perfectly polite and understanding, trying to be very constructive and work with them I felt they were basically trying to shut me down and deny there was any problem, so it had little actual impact. Just as you say, mine wasn't one of the most difficult or struggling children in the class, and it felt like he just didn't matter to them.

I would totally, totally move your child to the school you went to look at. It is scary because you know you need to throw everything into making it work because you can't play this card again! But you know what - it has been the best thing, to show my child he doesn't have to keep going somewhere he is so unhappy. When his new class teacher spoke to me at the end of his first day, it was clear that he'd already got a better understanding of him than the previous teacher had managed in a whole term. I think objectively he is in a better place now, but I also think that even if it had been a 'level transfer' in terms of how good the school was (for him), it would've been a worthwhile move because it broke the cycle of feeling bored, unhappy, lonely and naughty.

I honestly did everything I could to support him turning it around at his old school but it didn't work and moving him did. I've bumped into a few parents from the old school and they've echoed all the concerns I had (even without me saying first, so they're not just politely agreeing or being led by me iyswim). I feel a bit sorry for the class teacher tbh because she's very young, I think newly qualified, and looks utterly out of her depth. My view (many many teachers in the family, so def not expert but also not wholly uninformed and with a good smattering of local/school-specific knowledge) is that the school isn't very well led in various ways, and while DS had confident and experienced teachers in Reception and Y1 he was protected from that.

He's honestly like a different child since I moved him. He's back to being his interested, enthusiastic, wants-to-do-the-right-thing self. Scary and also a bit sad in many ways to make the move but I'm so pleased we did it.

I would just move him. I can't see you have anything to lose the.

Whynotnowbaby
My mistake. I took it as it's not for the HOY to take out the meeting with the class teacher. Sorry about that.

I had a lot of issues with my child's first school and when it's got to the point you're seriously looking at other schools as an option I think the decision's really been made in your heart to move them.

For what it's worth I moved mine and it was definitely the right thing to do - the same concerns are still all over the local community about the previous school (although the head has now gone), the same class teacher is still dodging dealing with parents and nothing much has changed... Where we are now is so approachable and warm and my kids are absolutely thriving.

Just a thought do you know any of the parent governors (names should be on school website) and speak to them about teachers refusing a meeting with you and you are seriously considering moving DS to another school.

Not having access to the person teaching my child would make me very antsy tbh

Do not approach a parent governor! They are not parent reps. Approach governors in the normal way by writing to the chair if you do want to make it a governor issue. The reality is the Head should be dealing with this as it is an operational matter.

So many people misunderstand the role of a parent governor

Neverunderfed
Why?

I understand not having access to anyone but why should someone automatically have access to a member of staff in all situations?

I know it's ideal to be able to contact them directly but sometimes it's just not ok.

I was supporting a struggling colleague and part of it was that I took the public hit from parents. Ultimately the battering they were getting from some quarters (not all) would have made it much less likely for the situation to improve, so we put things in place.

The issue in OP's situation isn't the absence of a meeting with the class teacher, it's that leadership are not doing their jobs properly.

I would write another email to the Head. Say again that you have concerns about your DS which you want to discuss and that you are also concerned that despite you requesting a meeting with the teacher and the HoY and now the Head you feel the school is either blocking or ignoring your requests and you want to pursue this issue further. I would detail when you contacted the class teacher and HoY with your requests,mas well as contact with the Head herself.

You can phrase all of this politely but be clear that you think their unwillingness to meet with you or to reply to communications despite what is a serious issue if you are considering taking your son out, is of grave concern and if you aren't offered a chance to talk through the issues raised you will be contacting the governors.

I think that if you express this as a concern about school procedures you will get a reply and meeting pretty damnnquick.

It is crap!

Thanks! Still no response, so will be drafting email tonight (as well as filling in council forms to have son moved to another school )

But the OP has had no access to anyone, no-one is responding. How is that ok?

Our school is at the opposite end of the scale, single form entry with free access to talk to any member of staff as we like.

Neverunderfed Like you my children school teachers are available to speak to in person both before and after school.

I would not my children at a school who are unapproachable part of teaching is being able to discuss issues as they come up with parents.

I agree the school have handled it poorly once making the decision that it wasn't the class teacher's role to deal with calls and leadership aren't stepping up, but not having instant access to staff isn't a failing on a school.

OP That's poor form on their part. Like PP, I would be making it clear that you feel you cannot have confidence in the leadership of the year/keystage due to the radio silence on this issue. That's the more concerning element than there being a tricky class.

This is why I’m so glad that my children whent to a 120 pupil school. Each afternoon you could have a word with the class teacher if you wished- appointments were not needed. Likewise the heads door was always open. She would delay staff meetings by 20/30 minutes to see parents, and let staff who had children leave the meeting early then if they had too. If you phoned to speak to the head and she was not available, you always had a call by the end of the day.
To be honest I thought all primary schools were like this. I’m sorry you are experiencing this OP. I can imagine how stressful and heart breaking it is for you, to know your daughter is so upset. I too would be looking at a different school if she is so upset. How much longer do you want to put her through this? It’s obviously really affecting her if she is dreaming about it.