Can the school stop me collecting my child 1 pm a week? (SN related)

[DobbinsVeil]

The TLDR: DS3 is in Yr1, has ASD. I have recently been turned down for an EHC needs assessment, currently appealing. Forest school going very badly, I want to collect him after lunch and take him home so he misses it, until some support can be sorted out.

Long story:
He has really not settled well in Yr1, and has had a number of meltdowns at school. Gets very out of control, very quickly.

Transitions are a huge issue, particularly for lessons taught by staff other than the class teacher. Forest school is the biggest problem as he struggles with the concept of an outside lesson (inside= lesson outside=playtime). He had stopped going, was going into another class with the teacher he really likes.

Class Teacher has been persuading him to go again by offering him a choice of something he likes less (I am not sure what this thing is).He flipped out totally this week when he had to get his coat on. Class Teacher took him to Yr6 and left him there for the duration. He spent the entire 2hrs+ shouting and disrupting the lesson (no TA in that class, just the class teacher). taken back to his classroom to get changed where he flipped out totally again and I had to go and get him. Had to carry him out no shoes/socks etc with my 4 year old carrying his bags etc.

Teacher rang me to explain, was very annoyed he had disrupted the Yr6 class so badly. She has PPA at this time so he has to go somewhere else. There is no one else to look after him.

I do see the school's POV, but from mine I just don't feel comfortable about this kind of repeat. It's not fair on the other class or DS3 tbh. So I've said until such a time as he can have some extra support, I'll collect him at lunch. This is being "considered". But do I need their permission to bring him home?

I'm hoping school will be agreeable to me collecting him, but if they feel the need to report me then I'll just have to deal with that. My plan was to collect after the PM registration had been done. They do have at least 1 pupil in the school on a reduced timetable, so it's not new territory.

I share the concerns of how they are handling him, and I am basically walking the line of trying to exhaust all possibilities before resorting to HE whilst balancing DS3's well-being.

DS3 had had a brilliant morning before Forest school, the teacher reported he'd done his best ever handwriting, no behaviour issues, happy and settled. Then she said she'd offered DS3 the choice of Forest school or this lesser thing, and that's when he started to get difficult. A child passing him his coat was the final trigger. he's very rigid so disrupting his plan, no matter how kindly intended, meant he lost it. But the school can't seem to see the build up to that point.

I just can't get them to see from his POV he'd done his absolute best in the morning, then he would feel he was being punished on the next activity. (He also wasn't given his sticker reward for the handwriting). I understand that is not the intention, Forest school is just unfortunate timing after a brilliant morning. But it's from a 5 year with ASD's perspective IYSWIM. But he is 1/24 in a class so I do see the difficulties for the school.

Are the subjects and situations he is struggling with those where he is being taught by someone other than his usual class teacher? If you think of behaviour as communication, what is he telling you and school? They need to be listening to his words and his actions.

Having the new Senco sounds like a positive step forward. Arrange to meet with them to work out a plan going forward. If he isn't under Occupational Therapy, ask for him to be referred for a Sensory Needs assessment.

To answer your question, yes do take him out after Registration on Forest School Days - depending on how you feel either he has an appointment that afternoon or you're supporting them until they have had a chance to set up something more suitable that is safe for everyone.

The different teacher issue has been known about since Yr1 started, the sticking point is how it is to be managed.The Manadarin and PE aren't so much of an issue as the class teacher is around, though I think she'd prefer not to have to manage DS3 at these time. He does also have meltdowns etc on things other than the different teacher lessons, usually because he has misunderstood something.

The new SEN person is dealing with higher priority issues atm (her words) so I'm not sure when I can get a meeting, particularly as she is only in 2 days a week. I'm not letting it drop by any means, but I have to be realistic as the school just take forever to do stuff on a normal day, with the HoS out for a while, it's going to be even more difficult.

I've been toying with getting a private OT but as I've just paid out for a private EP, it's a bit of a stretch right now. I'm not sure our area still does sensory assessments on NHS but I'll see if I can find out.

Perhaps it would help to create a 'pupil passport' (examples online) for the staff which explains his specific needs and how his ASD manifests. We did this when a supply teacher covering maternity leave decided he didn't actually have additional needs and took it upon herself to remove the support that was in place. The school seemed to take us more seriously once they had a piece of paper summarising everything.

Is the school supporting you about the need for an EHC needs assessment?

His One Plan includes a One Page Profile and the teacher has all that (and we've had a One Plan review together with the SENCo). It's awful a supply teacher took support away, glad you got it sorted out.

The school sort of support the EHC request, but were late in submitted the paperwork back to the LA, and ignored the phone calls and emails from them chasing it. Delayed it going to panel by about 2 weeks.

I'd asked for some more evidence for the appeal, but the SEN person can't do it as she doesn't know him, and due to the deadline I will need to submit my appeal without anything from them. SENDIASS told me not to worry too much about evidence and they think the tribunal will tell the LA to assess.

TBH I am not sure whether he will meet the threshold to get an EHCP. If the Ed Psych observes him on a good day (though admittedly those are rapidly vanishing) there's very little to see. The private Ed Psych found him to be average in most areas, apart from handwriting, working memory and another thing I can't quite remember. I was surprised as his reading skills don't seem great to me. Did pick up on his resistance in following adult led instructions, but also qualified it by saying he appeared tired. Behaviour scores were based on a questionnaire I did, and put him outside of typical but not sure how much mind they will be paid tbh.

Hi dobbins how did it go this week?

That's very kind of you to ask danni.

They were fine with me taking him, I had other cause to call and speak to the Executive Head but I also raised the Forest School stuff. She did accept that taking him and leaving in the Yr6 class was not o.k, but the class teacher's PPA time is protected and she isn't allowed near the children at this time. I did say it may not be the Class Teacher's personal responsibility but the school is still responsible and it was unacceptable. And they could have least warned me he'd been in meltdown for a couple of hours before I collected him!

She also said Forest School isn't going away and he will have to go to another class, what class will he be happy with? I said none and now I've taken him home he's going to want that. I've got a meeting with the EH on Thursday but not sure how this going to work out. There's only 1 TA he'll entertain and she works mornings only.

The tent has been in and taken away again. DS3 wouldn't use it as it had pictures of babies on the side(!). He does now have a visual timetable.

So, 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. Which is the usual pattern!

Just as an update, I had a meeting with the Executive Head, SENCo and class teacher. They'd already come up with a plan for Forest School. I'm going to continue to pick him up early and they will gradually reintroduce him to FS, using visual aids, observing FS for a few minutes and generally building him back up to attend again. But no rush/pressure or being taken to another class! Also discussed a few other issues and I really feel we've turned a corner. I'm really pleased with the outcome.