How to tame a tell-tale

[Allusernamestakenbutthis]

DS is like the playground policeman and likes to tell teachers when kids are misbehaving. Teachers appear to be getting annoyed but encouraging him to confide more. Why can't teachers straight out tell him what is or isn't worth reporting? What is the normal protocol in these situations? DS is 7.

It got to the stage that I could just hold up my three fingers and often they would just turn around and walk away.

I could never teach, I suspect I'd forget the third finger too often.

It's a very normal - and sometimes charming - foible thar passes by the time they're about 10 or 11. Just a developmental stage

Love the nice dobbing idea. I think I will try that at home to steer the conversation towards something more positive!

The thing about my DS is he insists on playing with the rough kids, as he actually likes them, so the same thing happens over and over again eg excluding, punching (not always directed at him), he's not the only one who reports back but teachers can't understand why he doesn't just stay away.

I don't want my DS to be that kid who stands by when another is excluding/ hurting another friend. I've suggested instead of telling teacher, he encourages his friend to approach her or if it's him getting hurt, it might help if he makes sure another friend can support him before reporting?

Why does he want to be friends with children who hurt others regularly?
That sound a bit worrying. Either he is terrified of them, or wants to be like them. Either way, I do think you need to help him in some way.
I have an experience, that one of the most aggressive child in ks1 turned out to be model pupil in ks2. He was just immature. But some others are different, always stayed as bully until now in yr6.

It all comes downs to your ds, why does he wants to hang around with the children who are horrible to others, yet want to tell tales about them?

@irvineoneohone I don't know. It's so frustrating and to be fair he is a bit immature. He likes playing tag, noisy games and running around. There is one other group and they are very quiet, mostly girls and the very gentle boys and he likes them a lot but can't stay with them very long.

He has said he wants to keep one of the boys happy because that boy gets angry at him, the same boy that he says sometimes excludes him and others. One minute he's mad at him, the next he's friends. I've stopped their playdates.

I have tried to talk to HT about this, but since I am the only one who comes to her with concerns she sees me as a trouble maker. There is another mum who is very upset as her boy is quiet and does not stand up for himself. I do not know if she has spoken to teacher or not.

My son often invites any kids who are excluded to playdates so I guess he's getting one thing right.

Like I said in my previous post, children change .

I don't believe the HT sees you as a trouble maker if she sees your ds is having difficulty.

But I think it can change a lot when the children go into ks2. A lot of silly children do grow up and become more mature. And your ds, like mine, can learn telling tales about each and everything won't do any good.