Sad that DS is going to a different school from his best friend.

[akaJamiesMum]

My DS starts school in September. He currently attends nursery two days a week while I work and has been very happy there. However, the nursery is in the town where I work and so most of his friends will be going to local schools.
DS was diagnosed (if that's the right word) with "sensory integration delay". This means he finds new situations difficult to cope with and has a number of minor difficulties (immature palmer grip of a pencil etc) which he will grow out of. One of the things which has really helped him this year is a friendship he has struck up with another little boy of the same age. DS says things like "Harvey is my friend" and "I really like Harvey" - it is just breaking my heart at the moment as I know that in a few short weeks he will be starting school and won't know anybody. I know he will make other friends but I am so sad about his friendship with this little boy which will be lost once the school holidays start (this little boy doesn't attend during holidays) so another couple of weeks and that will be that.
I am so sad for him and just so anxious about him not knowing anybody in the new school.
Am I being stupid?
Am thinking about trying to speak with Harvey's Mum to see if he would like to come to tea one evening so that I can keep them in touch. My Mum says not to worry and that in a year both will have other friends but I am wondering if keeping them in touch with each other would be nice for both of them.

My ds made friends with another child at nursery when he was 6 months old - he left that nursery at 2 but we have kept in touch in the intervening years, albeit maybe oinly every few months as they got older and busier. They stil love playing together even tho they are now at different schools

If you and the other parent are willing to make the effort then it can be done and is very rewarding for all.

I would definiitely have a chat with the other boy's parents and see what can be arranged.

Your mum's right that they will both make new friends, but that doesn't mean it's not worth inviting Harvey over to play. I kept one friend from age three right through to adulthod even though we moved about 100 miles away. They may well drift apart, but no harm in a few playdates.

(oh, and the big thing here is that your ds has learnt how to make and keep a friend - v. useful skill to have that will help him when he goes to school.)

Within a year, DS1 could barely remember any of his nursery friends.

Invite him over a few times by all means and see how it goes, but don't push it.
It might be that the friendship naturally continues, but it might also be that new routines, new friendships and just getting older mean the friendship wanes anyway.

We had this with several of my children's friends. For some we saw them sporadically for a few years (helped by the fact that I got on well with the mums), but things just naturally dwindled and it really wasn't a big deal.

Don't make a huge deal out of it or feel sad if they're not friends for ever, that really is just life. Tell your little boy Harvey can come to tea sometimes, but focus on how exciting his new school will be and make sure you invite those new friends and potential friends to tea!

You are not being stupid. I had this same problem when DS moved from nursery to reception.
He'd made a friend (a girl) at nursery and they played almost exclusively together every day.
But then we decided not to apply for a reception place at that school but another one we liked better, while she stayed on.
They both want to keep the friendship going (they've both said they want to marry the other when they grow up ) and all it takes is a bit of effort on the part of the mums. They see each other at least once a week and are just as good friends as they always were but have each also made new friends in reception.
hth

Thank you all for your replies. It is especially useful to be reminded that, of course, he has acquired a skill in making and keeping a friend at nursery so will be able to do the same at school.

Thank you