Help me

[help4]

Hi I wonder if anyone can help me.

My eldest is in year 4, and he has stopped reading at home and is all about his new sport (don't want to say what it is in case I am outed), watching tv and using a tablet.

My youngest boy in year 1 is heading the same way but I feel he will bounce back and he resists but does love being read to.

My eldest used to love learning he was top of the class for year 2 (only know that because I was told at year end) but he slipped a bit in year 3 to expected and only a few subjects are greater depth and now I feel he just does he the bare minimum and sometimes not even that.

For example, he has stopped reading at home unless it is first news or sports magazines. Honestly the last regular reading he has done was way back at the end of year 2.

School are not great about giving reading books. I was hoping that is they got books from school they would prioritise them.

Also I don't think my eldest has that many friends at school. He does out of school but I don't think he feels he fits it. Bad Language and behaviour at the school from other students isn't great and I have always tried to be positive about the school but as an example his teacher said my eldest is someone who comes to school on time and wanting to learn and not everyone in the class is like that? So they care but they don't seem interested as to why he isn't making the best progress because they have other kids with real issues to deal with and they see my son as doing well enough.

I also can't remember the last time my eldest did any maths homework or practice at home.

Also my partner often is away for work so to be honest I am often a single parent which means sometimes when I should be reading stories I am doing endless washing and cleaning or at least that is what it feels like.

We have lots of reading books available at home.

I also feel I have somehow lost control of them in that they don't listen to me or my husband.

We have given into tv non stop over Christmas in part because we all got various bugs and sickness.

I know I need to cut the tv and technology and I think I have tended to direct them and instruct them to read which has put them off reading. My husband and I are doing to move the house around so there is no tv where they chill.

My eldest also was learning a musical instrument and has stopped practising and was making great progress but now seems stuck and can not be bothered. I am not pushing the music at all.

He does have passion for sport and we encourage that because he loves it.

What can I do help my children?

Any ideas.

I feel like I am in a rut.

I am not working at the moment and did so much more with them when I was working.
I will soon be working full time and want to try get them back on track.

I suppose it doesn't help with I see just so much other parents seem to do and the opportunities they afford their children who seem much more able to do as they are told and read independently.

Sorry it was long but any tips will be welcomed.

My ds has never read books from school since yr3, our school allow children to read anything they want, as long as they read it daily. He sometimes chose things like first aid manuals/ survival manuals, or computer programming text books for reading aloud homeworks.
We do go to library and get the books regularly too, but he prefers to read it to himself.
Is the level of maths homework matched to his ability? If not, maybe you can speak to the teacher. It's still on going problem with my ds, but in yr3/4 it was the worst. Every single week of times tables when he knew it all. Ultimately, my ds's yr4 teacher stopped giving him set homework and gave him free access to online maths programme.

My ds use computer/games consoles a lot, there is no set time. But we have a set rule. That he needs to do things like music practice/homework first, then, he has no limit to play as long as he wants.

And reading aloud daily to me (usually about 5 minutes/one chapter) is one of the rules he has to do before free access to games/ipad/computer.

If he's reading sports magazines encourage that. Maybe look for sports biographies that are age appropriate or sporting fact books.

My younger brother stopped reading for ages as a kid and then discovered, at secondary school age, those Army survival type books where the protagonist is trapped behind enemy lines with only a BIC biro, paperclip and his military training to survive with (you get the type of genre I'm getting at) - and read absolutely every bloody one of them he could get his hands on.

String of As and A*s at GCSE, best A-level results of his year group... no worries whatsoever!

If he's reading magazines - he's still reading - don't sweat it! Would you be stressing if he was a girl reading those ghastly Rainbow Fairies books or is it just the fact that they're magazines and not "proper books" you're worried about?! The magazines are probably better written than some of the literary dross my eldest reads at the moment (like the aforementioned Rainbow Fairies)!

Thank you for the tips.

I think the idea of getting sorts biographies is a great idea too.

I guess I just want him to read a novel or longer story but yes he does read newspapers.

I guess my concern may be impacted because I know a few tiger mums and am so surprised by the level that their children are at and to be honest how compliant their
Children seem.

Year 3 and year 4 teachers have not really impressed me and yes the school does not seem to promote reading at home or provide my son with books so that is a concern.

I could also ask that they read outloud to me
Ir to each other so that is another tip.

Thank you for the constructive comments.

Don't worry about them not reading or practicing their instruments by themselves. I would expect most dc to do it only as part of a daily routine - or rather discipline, as parents would need to ensure it happens, until it becomes more and more of a habit for the dc. Maybe you could write down together a daily routine, like: coming home, 1 hour free time to unwind, then 15min math homework, 15 min spellings or other homework, 15 min instrument practice ( all that while you are nearby to help/encourage), then dinner, bath, reading 1 chapter aloud to you, and as a reward, whatever time is left before lights out is for free play/gaming/watching.

I spend a lot of time selecting books I think my daughter will like. I’m convinced she wouldn't read as much otherwise. Mumsnetters in the children’s books section will be able to help you.

Having said that DD (year 5) is also not doing as well as before, in maths in particular. I’m giving her a break right now but will get on her back again from next week, giving her extra word problems etc...

Parenting is not easy.

Good luck.

If your dc likes playing games, he might like www.prodigygame.com/
It's a maths programme but more of gaming/fighting opponent rather than pure practice.

My fil is a teacher at a prep school. When my eldest was 12/13 he would only read sports mags. FIL's advice was as long as he was reading something that was fine! We went with the flow and he did fine in English Lit gcse (well a B)