I would say that at 6 being disorganised, dreamy, wandering attention, failure to stay on task, attention span of 10 minutes - might be entirely an age thing, and sort itself with maturity. So I definitely wouldn't jump to conclusions.
Failing to follow simple instructions such as 'get changed for PE' would concern me more. Why does he 'ignore' direct instruction to do something, and go to play instead? Even when he can plainly see that all other children are getting changed. What is going on here? Some thoughts:
- Did he not hear/understand the instruction (check hearing/language problem)(but seeing everyone else get changed should give him the general idea of what he is meant to be doing anyway)
- Does he generally get away with ignoring instructions from grown-ups without consequences (parenting problem, at home or from the teacher - does she let him get away with ignoring instructions at school generally?)
- Is he expressing some anxiety or worry, either about getting changed, or about the reason for getting changed i.e. PE. DS used to hate getting changed as some children would make fun/tease others for their underpants. DD hates PE (because she doesn't understand the games) which she expresses in disliking getting changed.
- Is it defiance/oppositional? As in, he'd be happy and able to get changed but not when he has been instructed to do so?
- Is it a 'staying on task' thing i.e. he goes off intending to get changed but within seconds is distracted by the toys/something?
I feel like i need to double down on homework. I was being a bit slack because I was assuming that he was only messing around with me and school had a magic wand to make him sit and listen. I can see now that he's going whole days without applying himself so I guess I will have to teach him some stuff at home.
I would say to keep in mind that if he has been going whole days without applying himself, and hence falling behind as regarding school targets, it is the teacher who was being 'a bit slack', not you! She has expressed her difficulties in keeping him on task, does she expect you to wave that magic wand and get him to concentrate more at school? Is she saying 'sorry I can't teach this child, you will be having to do it yourself at home?' IMO you should be asking how she/the school intends to address the difficulties and support your child.
Of course you should do what you can at home too. A gaelic 'tutor' / lego playmate sounds a great idea. Building confidence too. But be careful with additional school work. You risk having the opposite effect, putting him off school (maths/reading) completely. When a child struggles with academics at school the solution shouldn't be to expect the parents to do the teaching at home instead.