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Original poster

SHOCKED - to be warned in school newsletter about paedophile living close by...

28 replies

kookaburra · 22/06/2007 19:33

DS1 (9) often walks to school on his own, and soemtimes home, and do worry about cars but have never worried about paedophiles, and scoffed at paranoia at people fearing a paedophile on every street corner. Well, actually here IS one on a street corner on the route..!!!!!
Okay - as he has been outed (is on bail, will be sentenced next month) can we assume he is on best behaviour pending sentencing?
I know this probably sounds hysterical, but am still in shock....

OP posts:
bookthief · 22/06/2007 19:37

Educate your ds about stranger danger. It's the best you can do and helps protect him against the paedophiles you know and don't know about.

What an odd thing to put in a school newsletter. Surely it will only stir up panic/witch hunt etc etc?

And if he's on bail then presumably the 'paedophile' has not been convicted and is not considered likely to abscond/reoffend while on bail?

ahundredtimes · 22/06/2007 19:38

This was in a school newsletter? Did it give his address?

edam · 22/06/2007 19:41

Bloody hell. I'd be shocked too. It's one thing to know theoretically that there probably are people like this about, it's another to know about one for sure.

You would hope that as he's on bail, the court thinks it unlikely he'll reoffend (horrid thought but maybe he abused a member of his family?). However, I wouldn't assume anything, especially as the prisons are full to bursting.

Agree with bookthief re stranger danger.

FrannyandZooey · 22/06/2007 19:42

Ruddy HELL

FrannyandZooey · 22/06/2007 19:42

I mean ruddy HELL the school put this in a NEWSLETTER??

ahundredtimes · 22/06/2007 19:42

Did the police give warning to the school do you think?

foxinsocks · 22/06/2007 19:43

is it that odd?

we had a letter a few terms ago to be on the look out

some perv had been propositioning girls and trying to give them a 'ride in his van'

ahundredtimes · 22/06/2007 19:44

Will you let him carry on walking to school and back?

FioFio · 22/06/2007 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

foxinsocks · 22/06/2007 19:48

Did it mention the police?

normally this sort of thing would have come via them but if it hasn't mentioned them, then I wonder why they felt they needed to share the info/where they got it from

Gobbledigook · 22/06/2007 19:51

We've had a letter about children from a nearby school being followed home by a man and we've had a brief description of him.

easywriter · 22/06/2007 19:52

I live next door but one to one!

This man didn't shy away from contact with my daughters and even went so far as to send them chocolate as a christmas present! That was the point at which I returned them and made it clear that it was inappropriate and that I didn't wish to become freindly with him or his wife!!! (I know, I'm sadly sheltered as I really cannopt believe that a convicted child sex offender has a wife). We live in the 'posh' part of a city. The fact that we know about him (as do most people around here) had me in bits when we first moved in but really made us think about him and all the other sex offenders that we don't know about.

Consequently, as bookthief says we have stranger danger chats with our 3 year olds (so sad to do so at this age) and don't encourage them to talk to anyone they don't know.

Without wishing to be totally alarmist, they are out there, I don't know how many, but the only thing you can do is try to prepare your child tp know what is inappropriate behaviour and to be assertive enough not to feel compelled to obey an adult stranger against their will.

It's a risky strategy (in case the info falls into the hands of stupid people) but I think they must have thought parents would rather know and develop strategies which ultimately will help keep them safe for life.

Also, I wouldn't feel tempted to accompany your son to school more often (well, maybe not until you're sure he's absorbed the message about how to deal with strangers), wrapping children up in cotton wool does not protect them. Imo it makes them more v.ulnerable

Original poster
kookaburra · 22/06/2007 20:08

The info came because it was on the front page of the local giveaway paper - so I presume some parents may have alerted the school - maybe the police did as well.
So I fished the rag out of the recycling bin and read the article. He was a teacher who had previously served five months in prison in 1999 for abusing children at a private school in the next county, and served another spell in prison for importing child porn videos. The police described him as a 'high risk offender'(so why is he on bail - are the jails THAT full????) This time (in January) the poiice found 'thumbnail' porn pic of children on his computer. (Apparently these are traces left behind when you delete something from PC - thank god that trail is left!!!) He admitted it was his PC and no-one else had access to it.
DS1 is well rehearsed in stranger danger ( actually at nursery age 3 on a trip to a farm he screamed 'stranger danger' when one of their party wandered off with a stranger....!!!!!!!! - the toddler was swiflty gathered up - and he was rewarded with an ice-cream)
We do put scenarios to him sometimes, like 'supposing a grown-up approached you in distress 'cos they had lost thier puppy - what would you do' etc, And the school will probably go inot overdrive about it.
My initial reaction is to stiop him walking to school etc, but coming down off the ceiling, I think if there was danger it was before now, probably lees dangerous now it is all out in the open.
Will think of reasons he can't go alone unitl next month when guy is sentenced - presume that will also make the paper, will read paper before just automatically putting in recylce bag, and will just try to calm down...
Will have to tell Dh, as our builder was here when I found out, and was all for going round and 'sorting him out' (I stopped him!!!!!), so DH will find out anyway, but would not want to worry him otherwise.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 22/06/2007 20:11

I don't think you sound hysterical at all btw, v sensible in fact!

It's awful seeing something like that in black and white though especially when it is so close to home.

singersgirl · 22/06/2007 20:18

Ah, so now I know where your DS goes to school...We get that free paper too, but the DSs are at a different school.

Original poster
kookaburra · 22/06/2007 20:21

Yes, well I now feel stupid and naive because I have never believed in wrapping the Dc in cotton wool, but maybe I am endangering them? DH is more cautious.
Last night DS1 wanted to cycle home alone from cubs, (before the Newsletter!) and I didn't let him, because I was worried about him being crushed by a 4X4, would have hooted if anyone mentioned predatory paedos - obviously a balance is needed between paranoia and complacency, but where to strike it...
I keep remembering the 'Desperate Housewives' episode, where Lynette feels guilty because her suspicions about a guy indirectly led to his disabled sister's death, and he had to move away. He chillingly told her when he left - destination unkown - that actually it was a good thing ultimately, because when his sister was alive he had 'felt constrained' - now he was free...

OP posts:
Original poster
kookaburra · 22/06/2007 20:21

Yes, well I now feel stupid and naive because I have never believed in wrapping the Dc in cotton wool, but maybe I am endangering them? DH is more cautious.
Last night DS1 wanted to cycle home alone from cubs, (before the Newsletter!) and I didn't let him, because I was worried about him being crushed by a 4X4, would have hooted if anyone mentioned predatory paedos - obviously a balance is needed between paranoia and complacency, but where to strike it...
I keep remembering the 'Desperate Housewives' episode, where Lynette feels guilty because her suspicions about a guy indirectly led to his disabled sister's death, and he had to move away. He chillingly told her when he left - destination unkown - that actually it was a good thing ultimately, because when his sister was alive he had 'felt constrained' - now he was free...

OP posts:
Original poster
kookaburra · 22/06/2007 20:22

Sorry posted twice - how do I delete a message....?

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foxinsocks · 22/06/2007 20:27

don't worry about double posting, it happens every now and then

yes, we get that free rag too. Tbh, I can't see why they felt the need to write it in your newsletter.

There are often stories about sex offenders in our borough in that rag and I can't say we've ever had to be informed (other than the example I gave below where they hadn't caught the bloke/blokes)

foxinsocks · 22/06/2007 20:28

although it may be because I think they mentioned the school in the newspaper article (because of the proximity) so maybe that's why....

newlifenewname · 22/06/2007 20:31

The school could have simply posted a reminder about keeping children safe - maybe published some hints and tips.

Original poster
kookaburra · 22/06/2007 20:31

Yes, odd to mention 'a stones throw from X Primary' specifically...

OP posts:
Celia2 · 23/06/2007 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
kookaburra · 24/06/2007 16:20

Yes - we are in Richmond...

OP posts:
Celia2 · 24/06/2007 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.