Non Competative Sports Days. I hate them

[castrolgtx]

Everyday the same children come out of school with certificates for good writing/reading/maths etc, but sports day can't be competative in case children are upset when they loose.
At the mum of two sports mad sons it drives me mad as it's their one chance to shine.
Anyone else agree?

DrN, there is pride in taking part, but no pride in being made to take part when you know you will lose. Of course I would congratulate someone on a promotion. Job interviews are not compulsory.

I'll try and make myself clear here. I have no problem with competitive sports - I enjoy watching. I object to being made to participate publically in something that I'm crap at.

Cat, IMO it's not about not entering because you know you won't win, it's about not wanting to enter because you know you will lose or at least be in the bottom few. When someone puts their hand up to answer a maths question you don't get presented with a class rank of who could answer the question best. That's exactly what you get at a competitive sports day, and it's not just the rest of the class that get to see, it's the whole school plus the parents. Besides, the kids who are good a sports get that same buzz at every games lesson don't they?

Some people paint beacuse they like painting, some strive to paint excellent pictures and be awarded an exhibition (and therefore be better than those who do not have exhibitions) Sames goes with writing, singing, musicians etc etc.

Just because they are not painting next to another painter at teh same time does not mean they do not strive to be the very best in their field.

Competetive sports by their very nature have to ahve other people involved, and yes they will be losers, whether individuals or a team. Humiliation only occurs if we (parents/teachers) let it.

Look, your children are asking to take part. They are not being forced to. That is the difference.

I think an activity that is only pleasurable if someone else loses is pretty pathetic, tbh.

That would be fine DrN, but not if it means children having to participate when they don't want to. Nobody would willingly enter into competition to come last, would they?

I think not being able to bear to see someone win somthing is pathetic.

Aloha do you never play games with your children? Most games have a loser. Learning to lose has been a big issue with my ds.

you must have had to compete at some stage aloha? when you got your job, someone else was probably let down

I like seeing people win DrN. But not at my/DS expense when we haven't wanted to participate in the first place.

What about design a badge competion for your school, poetry competitions, easter bonnets, decorate an egg. Winners are announced in school assembly. Somebody wins.

Winning is not bad or evil or mean, neither is wanting to win.

Do you force your children to play games? Do you force them to play things they have no aptitude for and that you know they will fail at? Do you then invite all their friends and neighbours to see them fail?

I have to go to farking work, but I don't want to.

But nobody comes last in the easter bonnet competition, do they?

It's not about the 'winning', it's about the poor bastard that comes last.

Maybe I did get a job someone else wanted, but, but the job interviews weren't held in public, nobody was forced to enter who didn't want to, and results were kept confidential. In fact, even the candidates were kept confidential. That is a very poor comparison, IMO.
If I was forced to apply to be, say a maths lecturer against my will, and my pathetic attempt at a job interview was put on the internet, now that might be a closer comparison.

Your kids can win all they like, as long as you don't insist that my kids have to take part to make your kids look better. It's not so much to ask.

Oh, lord!

Look, I know that some one you who object have SN kids. That must be difficult. Very difficult.

But it doesn't exonerate you from a very basic failure. And that is the failure to appreciate kids, any kids, of any ability, who do well in something.

I would cheer your kids on in anything.

Would you not be prepared to do the same for mine?

yes but you said an 'activity that is only pleasurable if someone else loses is pretty pathetic'

you do things all the time that require other people to lose (like going for a new job).

I agree with you about the sports day. I don't agree with your opinion about competition overall though.

How do our kids get beter at something they are crap it if they never do it?

this thread is exactly why i like MN.

Ordinarily i would have been deffo up for competitive sports days, my non academic son would totally shine. I had never really thought about it being at the expense of others before and that really is a point that has made me reassess my opinion.

I second that.

y"you said an 'activity that is only pleasurable if someone else loses is pretty pathetic'

you do things all the time that require other people to lose (like going for a new job)."

yes, but inthat example, someone not getting the job is merely an unfortunate side effect, not the WHOLE POINT of going for the job in the first place! I would never go for a job just to 'beat' someone else. I would only do it because I wanted the job for its own sake. It would not make me happier or feel better than I had 'beaten' anyone to it. I would feel just the same if I had been chosen to do it without anyone else in the running.
And of course, candidates are normally kept confidential, nobody forces anyone to go for a job and job interviews are not held in public.

Oh gawd, it is not at the expense of others. Everyone should be applauded. Some kids never learn the simple lesson that they can not and will not always be first and whinge and moan about teh unfairness of it all which then persists into adulthood.