Moving a happy child to a “better” school?

[Needmorewine]

Really struggling witj this . We chose the school DC is currently at as it has a very caring ethos and at the time this was what she needed, DD has surprised us all by being incredibly academic, exceeding in all areas end of reception and already exceeding in all by this time in year 1. She is happy and has lots of friends . However I can’t help but think another schools near us may now be a better fit. They actively Prep for 11+ which I think she would have a decent shot at. They are bigger schools and seem to have
More funding / resources and have a higher expectation and seem to offer much more in the way of lunchtime and after school clubs / school trips / school council. Parents I know with children at these schools feel their DC are happy. School we may move her too has top results in borough and now a place is available. Got a good vibe when I
Looked around. Currently I feel DD has no real competition in her class and I don’t think this is good long term. I realise I sound like an Arrogant whatsit but I can’t vocalise this to anyone in RL. Do I move her from somewhere she is happy to somewhere she may not be? Or as a confident little thing do I take a place on offer at a school with better results and have faith she will settle and make friends there too and be more challenged ? She spends a lot of time after she has finished her work either helping another child(ren) or reading a book on the carpet. As someone who did not do well at school I desperately want DD to achieve her potential. Anyone done similar ? Again apologies for sounding so arrogant.

I think its best, especially for able kids, to be a small fish in a big pond and not being a big fish in a small pond if that makes sense?

I would move her based on our experience where DS was top of the class and ended up helping & reading a lot. They need to be challenged and being able to go for the challenge, not give up when it gets difficult.

You don't sound arrogant at all! You sound like a lovely caring parent wanting the best for your child. What a tough decision. My initial thoughts are it may be early days to be thinking of prep for 11+ if she's just started year 1? (I have a Y1 DS myself but we don't have grammar schools up here). However I would want to ensure my child was reaching their potential which it doesn't currently sound as if she is if she's just reading or helping others rather than being stretched.

If it was me I think I would talk to her current teacher before moving her to ask what their plan is if she continues to exceed expectations, and go from there.

But then I can see now would be a good time to move her, before friendships become entrenched as they enter the pre teen years...

I am obviously no help at all! Good luck

You don't sound arrogant, you just sound like someone who want best for your child.
I would move her, if you really think the other school can give her better education. Being very able is a gift, but it can be a curse in inadequate school which cannot challenge her.

Do you mean exceeding in all areas of the year one curriculum at this point in the Autumn term? Even the ones she hasn’t covered?

Is the school RI or Inadequate or just has a poor intake? If she’s doing so well, they must be doing something right? Is she really the only bright child? How do you know? I’m surprised you misjudged her really.

Thank you both for your kind responses ! I tried to ask this at parents evening but am not the most confident and did not get a straight answer and felt embarrassed to push it further. To extend her in maths I got told to reinforce number bonds but she understands these? It sounds as if a high proportion of her class I understand are struggling wuth the transition to Y1 so I think the teacher is spending the majority of time getting those children up to expected standard rather than stretching those already there. Ideally we would send her privately but we just can’t afford it. I do not want to knock the school as her teacher last year truly encouraged Her to have a love of learning which I am delighted by. We have workbooks at home we do together but I am conscious that as she gets older me doing these with her will not be enough. I want her to go somewhere where she is not the cleverest in the class and has other children who are cleverer and extend her and she can learn from? And yes I feel I would prefer to do this while she is still very young rather than in juniors wuth friendship groups already established. But I am just so terribly worried if she moved and was not happy I would be so cross with myself as she really is very happy at the current school.

On her parents evening report in October I was shown a slip with the standards and her teacher had highlighted exceeding in all of them ? Last year I was told she was the only child that had exceeding in all 17 EYFS areas at the end of reception. Maybe I have misunderstood !!! She initially was very average struggled with blending etc beginning of reception then started doing very well after Xmas last year it’s like everything clicked suddenly.

You can start off with giving her some resources for work at home, initially, and she will be willing to pursue herself with your help later on to find her own encouragement if she really wanted to, when she is older.

Parents like us who has older children can give you some info about good resources later on. Just comeback and ask.

But if the school can do it for her, that's way better.

We've got a v bright child but we havent moved her. I thought about a 1/3 were exceeding ( or I could be making that up/misremembering!)
I used to be a teacher and Im in it for the long game - the most important thing for me in infants is that they have friends and are happy. For us we wouldnt move from a caring happoy school. However we wpild if she were unhappy. I dont agree with tons of homework in infants ao if she can do it easily Im happy and happy she has more time to read/do sports.

My eldest is bright and in Juniors - again we were happy for the local school as she is keen on clubs and its easy to go back and forth afterschool. Although they dont have a high percentage of superbright kids they have an amazing orchestra and other extracurricular.

Im happy to prepare for 11+ using books ourself and a few tutor sessions leading up to the exam which is working okay so far. We didnt want to gear the whole primary experience to the 11+ when there's so much more to consider.

However I am v well aware schools vary and are different in each area meaning we might have made different choices elsewhere.

A small point, but don't forget that helping other children is in itself a form of extension.

Is she an older child in the year group by any chance?
If I'm reading your post correctly she has only just started Year 1? It's a bit early to decide she is incredibly academic and way ahead of all the others in the year. My experience is that many of the children who were "top" at the end of Reception were not so by the end of Year 2, as others caught up and this was certainly the case by mid juniors.

How big is the year group? If it's a larger group, it's hard to believe that there are no others who have the potential to do as well as your daughter. If it's 15 or 30, this may be less the case.

I wouldn't say don't move her, just be careful what reasons you are moving her for.

How do you know you daughter has no competition in her class? Have you been snooping in book bags?!

I don't think you should move her. You say she is happy and confident, part of the reason she is so doing so well could be because she is happy (who can say if she will be happy in the other school especially if they spend a lot of time prepping for the 11+) and I don't necessarily agree with the above poster sometimes being a big fish in a small pond gives children confidence they might not have if they were a small fish in a big pond. Being happy is the most important thing when they are still so new to school. If she is happy she will learn anywhere.

peppers, sometimes you would know, because teacher tells you, if your child is a true outlier.

I did this although my child wasn't overly happy.

He did go into school but was very upset at several points of the day and is thriving in the new school. He's being challenged whereas he wasn't before. We have no tears during the day because his mind is occupied and he loves that. He's still in touch with his friends from his old school and has lots of new friends.

He was happy to stay or leave his old school but my husband and I did take his feelings into account. We decided to move him and I'm so glad we did.

No snooping in book bags pepper I don’t need to 😀 I was told in EYFS she was the only child in the class to exceed in all 17 areas and this year several of the parents who go into help have volunteered that information to me that she is really very bright and ahead - Including one parent who used to be a deputy head teacher. She is March born so about middle of age range ? However I have been weighing it up and for the now I’m going to keep her where she is, as she really is very happy with a lovely group of friends and I am going to try doing a few more wider topics at home with her and plan a few days out that might interest her and focus on that, then perhaps reevaluate in a few years. She’s really interested in science so will take her up to the science museum and we will go to the library to find some books for her to read on space as my knowledge is limited!! As commented it may be she has just peaked quite early and it will All level Off as some of the younger children in her class catch up but if not she is still very young still and for the moment all I want is for her to be happy. Thank you to everyone who contributed helpfully there were some really good points made that hadn’t occurred to me .

Unless your present school is poor academically I definitely wouldn't move her. My Eldest is in Y2 and extremely academic (he's four years ahead for maths, reading two years ahead etc.) and fits in extremely well at his small, supportive school. Firstly very bright children will walk the 11+ with a little practise at home and nothing more. (Buy some bond books in Y5). Secondly you don't want to encourage competition among her peers at this stage. She should be learning because she likes to. Presumably she's free reading by now so she can pick books she's interested in and not worry about which books her peers are reading. Also in Y1 many children haven't found their feet yet. Even by Y2 some of the children who were struggling in EY are really catching up (one who was only on level 1 reading starting Y1 is now free reading confidently). It's more than likely that by next year lots of children will be catching her up. There's nothing stopping you enriching her education out of school with clubs, museum visits, hobbies etc.

If she's happy I'd watch and wait.

One of my children has always been ahead of her class in many areas, but this year I am seeing things even out. Other kids are catching up and she's looking less exceptional and more a bright kid. Which is fine!

She's still young, give it time to even out a bit I think.

My dd is very academic and we felt that her Primary School didn’t push her at all. However, she was happy there so there she stayed
The school did no prep for 11+ at all and had a policy of refusing to even discuss the possibility of Grammar with us.
Dd did take her 11+ for Grammar and scored very highly with minimal tutoring and some practise papers but was also offered a part scholarship to Private School, which is what we chose.
So IF your child is very able and you give support from home there is no reason they won’t achieve their potential even if the school don’t push them

We did this (though our dc is not as academic as yours seems to be). He was very nervous and I worried he wouldn't settle. A week or so in and he is loving it, tells me (completely unprompted) daily how much he loves his new school, how happy he is to be there, how much fun it is. He is so much more keen to be there that it is even easier getting him up in the morning. He is thriving on the extra homework and enjoying the challenge. Your dc has nothing to compare her current school to so cannot really say she prefers it. Trust your own judgement.

Not read the whole thread, but if it didn't work out at the new school you could always move her back again. Might be worth trying it though

I think this is one of those situations where what you really need is hindsight...

My DS was very similar to your DD at same age (now Y8 in grammar). It came as a surprise just how able he was, plus being my first, I just didn't really see it as that odd. We ploughed through one primary where he was happy, had lovely friends, small village feel etc. However, it gradually became more and more apparent that the gap just continued to widen, despite our efforts to broaden etc. By Y4 he was taught maths in Y6 and still outstripping. By early Y5 he was basically in a real problem - bored stupid a lot of the time, and sent to read with other classes, help them with maths etc for hours on end. He felt different and began to hate it. He hated sticking out. We moved him to a slightly larger school which just happened to have a very able cohort. No longer did he stick out like a sore thumb academically. However, leaving it that late to move him was definitely hard socially. Fortunately he coped well but he desperately missed his mates, even though we still saw them often. However, he did transition up to secondary very well, perhaps because of that move. He's also in a superselective, at the very top, but not THE top, and I think this interim move helped him adjust to that concept. It's very tricky always being top as it's a very difficult position to maintain and can cause some tricky self-esteem issues.

One word of caution about the school you're considering though - no state school should be actively preparing children for the 11+ so I would be surprised if they are actually doing this. And really, would you actually want them to?! Do bear that in mind.

Please be aware that if you are in Bucks, state schools will not prepare children for the 11 plus. The schools won’t tell you if they think your child will pass because 100% of their focus is the national curriculum, not 11 plus. I don’t know what happens elsewhere. Also many state educated children are bright. Private schools don’t have all of them. Bright children do need guidance in how to sit the 11 plus exams and I wouldn’t leave it totally to chance.

I have known several scientifically interested young children, who went on to top class universities, Imperial and Cambridge without a huge amount of parental input. They just did very well in all their exams. They were both extremely bright as 5 year olds though!

I do think children who excel in literacy and maths in y1 have not peaked and may well stay ahead. If they remain interested and engaged, then they should progress well. I don’t think all the other children will catch up. A few might so that will provide a top set. If the teacher cannot differentiate the work in the class, that’s fairly appalling at this stage. They should never, ever, concentrate on part of the class. Also, I’m not sure that children who cannot settle in y1 are the geniuses of the future. They probably didn’t settle in YR either but your DD still achieved exceeding in all areas. The teacher should provide challenging work for all. Also, your DD can only be exceeding in what she has been taught. They have not covered the whole y1 curriculum yet! She should be set extension topics to build up get knowledge of the topics.

Get library books to build up her knowledge too, such as science books. Go to interesting science installations and organise days out that help foster a love of science. Discuss what you see and read about it together. Eg. How do canals work? How do plants grow? What makes Yorkshire puddings rise? I think learning at this age is as much about discovering the world about you as it is school work. The truly intelligent child absorbs so much more than the national curriculum!

As pp have mentioned being a big fish in a little pond is not good. It will get worse as she gets older until she reaches a point when she either has to dumb herself down or be lonely. Best if she is able to put her with the other fever children.

I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to reply thank you. I am getting really anxious now am veering back to changing her and trusting she will make new friends . I just don’t know now. I have until the end of the week to accept the place. Definitely something hindsight would be a wonderful thing . On another note Are there any good days out in London anyone can recommend for a child who is interested in science other then the science museum / natural history museum? I’m trying to see if there’s any talks or experiences she might like to do. We did the space show at the planetarium in Greenwich earlier in the year that was great. Science is something she is really enjoying this year.

School I am thinking of no does not actively prep for 11+ I phrased that wrongly but they offer extra early
Morning maths sessions in y5/6 at those who are very able I’ve been told which must help pass it? and a high percentage sit the 11+ And go on to grammar (must add think Lots are tutored !)