Friendships in YR2

[baconandeggg]

DS is 6 and currently in yr2 at a local primary school.
Whilst I'm happy with the school, he's having some issues with friendships and I'd really appreciate some advice.
In reception he made one lovely friend, and they have remained friendly. There's a 3rd child who continues to try and isolate DS and plays with his 'best' friend, leaving DS to sit alone in the playground at lunchtime. I have encouraged him to play with other people, make friendships etc.

He has other activities outside of school and has a few other friends from these, but it's the school friendships I really need help with. I'd like to go into to school to ask what they can do, as this was happening last year aswell, but don't really know what to say!
Having spoken to him yesterday (he's worrying about going back to school after the holidays) he's open to the idea of moving schools to find more friends. This has come about since a house move and me now driving past 3 other schools that are on our doorstep.
Thoughts? Thankyou

We took friendship issues to the class teacher in Y2. She came up with a plan of calling in the 3 plus a few others and encouraging them all to try to play with different friends each day. I think you should just say to the teacher what you've said to us.

In our case the friend who was monopolising had some personal circumstances which were far from ideal, so I could imagine why they were trying to exert some power in the playground. The solution the teacher came to didn't blame or pick out that child, just gave everyone a bit of a nudge on social skills and being kind while also helping my child with playing with her original best friend or a wider group.

You're doing the right thing by encouraging him to play with different people but this is a big ask really and feels increasingly harder as they get older. But because my child's teacher had a group of them working especially on playing with different people, that really opened the door to my child being able to join in with any of the group. I'm not saying this is the only strategy, just that Y2 teachers will probably have some ideas that can help!

Have just this week had to have an incredibly similar conversation with my child's school! Also a 6yo in year two. Too early to say for sure but I was impressed with the school's response - they acted very quickly (I spoke to someone when I dropped him off at 9 and had had a call back from a learning mentor by 10, who had by that point spoken to my child and his two friends). She's given them a bit of a reminder on how to be a good friend etc but also she wants to link my DS in with some of the (less confident) year 1s who are struggling a bit socially, which I think is going to suit him really well, and is 100x more useful than me repeatedly saying "why don't you go and play with..?"

I'm glad he's on the mentor's radar for it now - it's reassuring that someone is keeping a bit of an eye out for him while he's finding things tough.

He had been in tears at home and talking (for the first time) about moving schools. I'm not entirely ruling out the possibility of moving, because it may well just be that he needs a fresh start and now would be a good time, but I want to see whether we can solve things where he is now first.

Hope you can get things sorted.

I think Y2 is a bit of an age where a lot of friendship niggles peak for the first time - I've had the conversation with DD1's teacher a few times that "the Y2 falling out thing's started... oh god - they're that early this year?!"

We have one child in DD1's class who struggles to understand people can have multiple, fluid friendships - gets very very territorial over one "friend" and won't let them play with anyone else. They tend to gravitate towards DD1 which I don't particularly like, but I do understand how this child sees it and I'm not going to do the "don't play with X" thing - so DD1 gets it emphasised to her that she has lots of lovely friends, and it's a really good idea to make sure she plays with all of them in case she falls out with someone so she always has other people to play with.

Thankyou all, I'm going to try to arrange to see the class teacher this week to talk about it and see what they can do.
Just so sad to think of DS struggling like this as he's such a good kid (I know, he's mine I'm bound to say that)
Thanks

I think friendships often don’t gel when they are 5. Children should not be encouraged to have a single best friend. He would be in the same position if the child moved. You should find the school encourages play between all the children. I think you could try and get to know other parents and arrange some play. Get your DS to think who might be willing and able to come and play.

I worried about my elder DD being excluded from play - she said she was. Play was monitored and she did find friends to play with after a couple of children were nudged to include her. Still friends after 20 years! Good luck.