DS struggling in year one

[TheAtlanticWatch]

Feeling rather overwrought about this so apologies in advance for rambling but will try to be concise without drip feeding.

DS struggled in reception with getting into more formalised learning and I knew he was going in to Year 1 some way behind his peers; however I thought he had made real improvements already in Year 1 particularly with reading and would hopefully catch up this year. (He's April, so young for the year although not the youngest).

Had parents evening this week which was not great. They did feel his reading was coming along but still very behind on phonics and his writing is pretty much non-existent. His work books were virtually empty. I thought he was pretty good on numbers, but again he seems behind. He is very unfocused in class and suffers from a lack of core strength, e.g. slumping over at his desk, lying on the floor instead of sitting, which is impacting his writing and general attention. He is also very solitary at school and wanders round in his own little dream world.

They didn't think there were signs of dyslexia or ADHD and when I asked how we could best support him they said just keep chipping away.

We read every night and try and build numbers into everyday things. He is however very resistant to writing. He has never enjoyed colouring/painting etc, rarely voluntarily writes or draws. We obviously encourage him to practice his words and writing sentences but it is always a battle. With other developmental milestones we found that the more we pushed, the more he resisted, whereas when left to take it at his own pace things would "click" and come all at once.

He is a bit of daydreamer, loves making up stories with his toys and loves looking at books, but is very independent and resistant to doing things he doesn't want to do unless he is interested.

The little boy I know is bright, happy and engaged in the world around him, but this doesn't seem to be how he comes across at school. I am worried about him slipping further and further behind.

Has anyone had any similar experiences who can give any advice?

Thanks if you made it this far!

He is very unfocused in class and suffers from a lack of core strength

I'd say if his fitness is that low, then spending time trying to encourage writing etc. is a waste, he's simply not yet physically ready to do it, get him up monkey bars, running up slides, etc. When there aren't physical difficulties doing the work, he'll be much more likely to engage.

Thank you, that's great advice. I have been a bit worried about his general fitness recently - normally he runs around like a headless chicken but I've noticed his energy is not as high. We were thinking about climbing walls to try and build his upper body strength maybe.

If he slumps and prefers to lie down he could have dyspraxia. Often there is a weakness in core strength. I find it remarkable that the teachers say there are no signs of ADHD or dyslexia if he daydreams, wanders about in a solitary manner, doesn't focus and has poor writing skills. Get a proper assessment.

Thanks Solly. I've never been diagnosed (in 40s now) but my mother always says she thought I had it. Can I ask how I go about getting him assessed if the school are dismissive - is this something I can do privately?

(it = dyspraxia)

Does he sleep enough?

If not, I would focus on that. Along with more outside physical activities (which might help with the sleeping, too).

Once you are happy that he does have the body strength, and does sleep enough, and he still can't focus and struggles to write, then I would look into further investigations.

Yes you can get assessments done privately. You could try googling Ed psychs in your area and funding out if they do dyslexia/dyspraxia assessments. You could also contact dyslexia centres like the Helen Arkell centre (lots of others) and they can point you in the right direction for assessments. For ADHD is may be the EdPsych or it may be that you can go through your GP. Maybe other MNers can clarify.

Meant to add though that daydreaming and struggling with writing sounds perfectly age-appropriate for a 5yo. There might be nothing to it except school having age-inappropriate expectations as to behaviour and learning.
Not saying it is not something e.g. dyspraxia, just that I wouldn't jump to conclusions quite yet.

As he seems to have physical problems I'd visit the GP. They'll be able to refer you to right place.

You could be describing my son at that age (summer born boy so young in year). He wasn't ready for formal learning. Just carry on reading to him, get lots of exercise together etc. School could be tiring him if he's not developmentally ready for formal learning (square peg round hole = not nice for him). Bless him.

Have faith in him and in how you are parenting him. Just focus on having fun, they're only little once. My son is now really (and I mean really) flying academically a few years on. Y1 he could barely read a word or write his name; more interested in running around outdoors. Keep an eye out for any genuine issues as mentioned by previous posters but overall I would say don't push him. Hope all goes well; enjoy your little boy

Brilliant advice, thank you all so much.

I've made a GP appointment just to be on the safe side about the physical issues and fully agree about the sleeping and fitness. He does martial arts and swimming and is generally pretty active, but he has always been a poor sleeper and that must be contributing if not the root cause. He has also become a very fussy eater over the past few months which may be relevant as well.

Hopefully if we can sort that things will improve, but I'll take a look at local Ed psychs too - thanks Solly.

I also really appreciate the reassurance that this could just be a phase. He is such a joy, it breaks my heart to think I have let him down by not realising he was struggling so much.

Thank you again for your time and advice. I feel like I have the makings of a plan now

Core strength does affect writing. We did things like monkey bar to strengthen ds's gross motor/ upper body. It did make a big difference.

Could you speak to the SENCO first? At our school, in your case, we might ask dc to sit on a balance ball rather than a chair/on floor to develop core strength and to distract him from lying on floor, and we would arrange 1 to 1 for extra phonics and strength building and fine motoric exercises. At dd's school in reception class they all did a multisensori writing program that involved writing with all kinds of media (sand, mudd, paint, foam, water etc) while moving the whole body to music. Maybe he would enjoy something free like this. If you are a bit shy to let him paint letters on the house wall with water or chalk while dancing to his favourite song, you could just put on some music or an audio book inside and ask him to write letters or words with his finger into a medium he likes touching ( a lot of kids just love feeling slime or foam and will stick to this activity for ages). He will need a lot of practice to catch up (overlearning is the educational phrase, I think), so the more you can turn it into a game, the better. Lots of encouragement and praise might make it more palatable for him, too. But fact is hardly any dc likes homework, so i guess you might just have to stand your ground and accept some complaints or even tears from him.

We've had similar with DS. Gymnastics and multi sports club has definitely improved his coordination and Lego/puzzles have helped with concentration. With handwriting he has the exercise books which he doesn't like but he gets a sticker reward for every page he does. Reading is still a touchy subject but I get him to read random words when we are out and we play I spy with phonics.

Get him to read out loud. Reading out loud is like forced talking, it gives the brain feedback so it can improve speech. This in turn improves listening and helps when he structures sentences. You can't read silently or write unless speech is more developed. Speech is a major test for some children and some will try and get out of reading out loud. I had to use some serious incentives to get my boys to read out loud.
(we as parents didn't talk to them enough before they started school)
I believe my boys grades would have been Es & Ds but they got Cs and Bs GCSE because i listened to them read.

Another vote for lots of climbing and playing on monkey bars. Also carrying / controlling heavier things at arms length - pouring from a jug of water into glasses /cups....... filling an old washing up bottle full of water and squirting / squeezing it to "paint" a fence or wall or patio...... big arm movements (like the old fashioned cleaning the class blackboard) but can paint fence / wall with water or get some paints and lining paper stuck on a wall to do a 'mural'...... or wringing out clothes / teatowels (get him helping to wash the car with a bigger sized cloth)........ carrying a chair or small pile of childrens chairs...... carrying a tray.

Did he crawl ? Anything where he commando crawls, or climbs up a climbing frame or netting (same action as crawling but upright not horizontal).
Actually, if he is watching TV, then get him to lie on the floor on his tummy and take weight on his elbows and hold head up..... same if you are playing a board game or reading - good to lie in that position.

Then do lots of fun things that he doesn't know are to work on his fine motor skills - anything with pegs - both clothes pegs and also peg board pegs...... lego - breaking up pieces that have been fairly firmly pushed onto one another in a tower or wall..... any game involving tweaser (like 'Operation' for example), or fine motor skills like 'Buckaroo'....... play any game involving cards (playing cards or lotto cards) and put them on a surface like a table or the floor where he has to pick up with pincer grip and turn them over...... anything involving 'posting' (coin in money box, or some other children's games)...... playdough (especially getting things out that have got 'stuck' in there - a paperclip, a small screw or a counter).... plasticine.....

Don't just focus on things he can't do / is struggling with at school, let him enjoy books you read to him, and 'capture' the imagination by encouraging him to tell you stories that you write down for him, or that he can record / capture without needing the mechanics of writing. Keep up games like I Spy in the car / when on the bus to keep up with phonics etc without him even thinking it is school work.

My DD is struggling in year 1 too. I'm trying not to worry and whilst doing homework with her, also making sure she has time for fun and hobbies.

Try a martial arts class, my DD loves hers. Not sure it'll help with core strength but fitness and concentration maybe.

My daughter is also getting extra support for her reading in school. Hang in there. They are still so little.

It’s a bit early for a dyslexia diagnosis as they don’t generally do that until they’re at least 7. I agree with pp ... lots of gross and fine motor work - play dough, Lego, threading etc should strengthen his muscles in preparation for writing. Can you get a little sand tray for him to practise his letters? For my boys I got Star Wars lightsabers and they practised writing letters in the air. Also if you have outdoor space you could give him a big paintbrush and some water and let him write on the path. And lots and lots of reading.

To help him remember his phonics you could chalk his sounds on a wall and give him a water pistol. You say the sound, he blasts it with his pistol!

I am a teacher and I totally understand how you must be feeling. Year 1 shouldn't be a shock to the system but many schools are formal and this does not suit all children. I would say that the ideas that have been shared are fab and really practical which he needs. I think it might be that he is not ready to write yet. I recommend these resources to my parents to make learning fun and interactive initially the children can just play along by orally segmenting and blending but then I ask them to se post its or magnetic letters eventually they can write the words and pause the video. Let me know what you think.